the first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left

life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

I'll be alright except for my left side.

Said to a tired person: "You look you've been rode hard and put away wet!"

Have we had, "Think the rain'll hurt the rhubarb?"

in dog years you're dead

You bet your sweet bippy!

(I have no idea what a 'bippy' is but wasn't that from the show with Goldie Hawn?)

Yessery Bob!

ARE YOU SURE you aren't Boomer?

Nope
 

I'm not Boomer. She was actually a bit before my time on here so I'll just say that I'll take that as a compliment, Gracie.


Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

He/she has more hang-ups than the phone company.

Oh, for Pete's sake!

What, were you raised in a barn? (My mother said this to us when we left the front or back door to the house open during the winter).

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Is it 'Don't cut your nose to spite your face" ???

How about "It's like putting five pounds of s--t in a four pound bag"

Up yur nose with a rubber hose.

Don't wish your life away, it will go by fast enough !

Sticks and stones may break my bones , but names will never hurt me.

Hey...who ya callin' dumb?
 

I'm not stupid. That's my brother, he's bent way over.

I'm not as dumb as I look.

Don't let this blonde hair fool ya.

I'm not as stupid as you look.

Excuse me for breathing.

Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning. Red sky at night, sailor's delight.

An old quote from farming country in the midwest that comes to mind after the terribly dry summer weather...

In a dry year, you may go a little hungry. In a wet year, you'll starve.

My favorite which my father used upon a few occasions...

If you're born to hang, you'll never drown.

Peachie kean.

"I'm from Missouri, show me."

I don't give a damn for the whole state of Michigan, I'm from Oh hi o!;)

Ain't that a kick in the head.

All talk and no action.

Speak softly and carry a big stick.

Sin in haste, repent in leisure.

You're not worth a lick.

Your yellow.

Mellow yellow

Yellow submarine.

That a sandwich?

Brain fart!