[Golfingnut]

I just watched a Documentary about the Oregon I-1000 bill reference a persons right to die with dignity. I would be interested in how folks in this retirement community feel about giving the right to choose when and how we end life to us rather than the government.

I would also be interested in any Hemlock Society activity that may be present in The Villages at this time. I personalty would give my full support to anyone wishing to have control of their life and the ending of their life. I have difficulty with government or religious officials having the legal decision making process over my life.

PM me if you have any information on any end of life groups in this area.

Please don't allow this to be an issue for argument. It is a simple individual right to have control over your life and no one else's.

[graciegirl]

It is wise to think about it enough to have your wishes in writing and they ask you that each time you are hospitalized.

Hugs to all of you. Good morning. Have a beautiful day.

[Parker]

I agree with the premise that one has the right to make end-of-life decisions for themselves. The problem arises when those decisions aren't entirely their own. I can envision a scenario where a compromised patient is pressured by a greedy/exhausted/distant/disinterested/broke/whatever family to make that final choice. I'm not sure free decisions are always really free after all.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by Parker

I agree with the premise that one has the right to make end-of-life decisions for themselves. The problem arises when those decisions aren't entirely their own. I can envision a scenario where a compromised patient is pressured by a greedy/exhausted/distant/disinterested/broke/whatever family to make that final choice. I'm not sure free decisions are always really free after all.

I agree with your thoughts; however, I am referring to those last few weeks when there is no HOPE and you WILL SUFFER, so giving you the right to decide that's it is time to end it is a true act of kindness and respect. Right now, you HAVE TO suffer the pain of the last days and I cannot understand why that decision is not left to the individual rather than the government. I know it is old hat to say we do it for our loved pets, but we cannot help our loved ones when they are begging us to do so. I am not sure I could say it is time even for myself, but please give me the respect as a human being to have the right to do so should I so desire it. Is this issue not a personal right and not a government decision.

[graciegirl]

I will be quiet and listen.

[redwitch]

I'm a firm believer that people have a right to make their choices so long as they cause no harm to another (suicide by cop is not acceptable). I watched my father take three years to die from cancer in the 60s. There is no way I would go through that nor subject my daughter and grandson to the agony of watching it. I had to fight tooth and nail to get the doctor to not put my mother on a resuscitator. Again, this is not something I would want my daughter to have to go through. I'm terrified of developing dementia or Alzheimer's and have no doubt that if that day comes, I will find a way to walk away. We euthanize our beloved pets when they no longer have a quality of life but deny ourselves that some privilege. All of that being said, I'm not a fan of organizations that will "help" me make those decisions. I decided my path a long time ago, have made it known to those who are important to me and have it written down. Hopefully, when (if) the time comes, I will be able to make my own choices with no one deciding for me.

[salpal]

Agree with you Golfingnut. Redwitch is right, we treat our animals better than our peers when it comes to end of life. If I were suffering, I would like to know I could obtain assistance if I so desired. I do not know of any local organizations.

I believe this issue will be the next "big thing" after gun control, abortion and immigrants are resolved, although highly unlike for that to happen.

[Parker]

Redwitch is smart to make her wishes known to her family in writing now, before the need is here. I might mention, as a nurse who has seen this many times, sometimes it is the family who fights the wishes of the patient and wants to keep the patient alive at all costs. A patient who is suffering and tired and wants to die can be forced to live, given CPR (which by the way is painful and ugly and can leave one with physical consequences like broken ribs and brain damage), ventilators, IV feedings, tubes, lines, bedpans, and constant "fiddling" by healthcare providers. Their end-of-life can be miserable. The family of this patient mean well and are trying to do the right thing, but they are not listening to the patient.

Having said all this, I try never to second-guess the family. They are often exhausted and grieving, and just trying to get through it all with compassion and a clear conscience. So do your family and yourself a huge favor, make your wishes known in writing. But if something devastating happens to your loved one without that written direction, LISTEN to the patient and try to honor their wishes, even at the expense of what you want to happen. It is their life and it is their death. There is a lot to be said for a peaceful death with dignity.

I'm concerned about this posting I'm about to make, that it might be misconstrued. But hopefully all who read it will understand that it's all about honor, dignity, choices, and compassion for the living and the dying. Nurses see it all, and see the aftermath...

[jblum315]

I remember reading a long time ago that the dying King George (father of Queen Elizabeth) was eased out of his suffering with an extra dose of morphine. The cynics said it was done so that his death could make the morning newspapers, but I believe he had a compassionate physician and no one was the wiser.

[Golfingnut]

Thank you Parker for your input. I can still see the eyes of my fathers nurse when she tiered up telling me she was doing everything she could to keep him alive due to the pleading of my mother. I could see she clearly understood that he was in pain and had no connection to reality due to advanced cancer and multiple strokes that had him in a complete vegetative state, diapered and without a shred of hope.

[Parker]

My sympathies Golfingnut. Your mother no doubt thought she was doing the right thing, but she just didn't know. Its all so difficult.

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by jblum315

I remember reading a long time ago that the dying King George (father of Queen Elizabeth) was eased out of his suffering with an extra dose of morphine. The cynics said it was done so that his death could make the morning newspapers, but I believe he had a compassionate physician and no one was the wiser.

I've read the same exact thing about Jackie Kennedy's "end".
I remember as she died the same day as my Irish stepfather.....

Actually, as part of palliative or comfort care now (in skilled nursing homes) we experienced them administering shots of morphine quite frequently on the last day.......the nurse sat by my side, actually.....and I watched her administer the morphine very frequently to my 91 year old mom........who had agreed to the "comfort care" which is also called palliative care (when she was admitted 18 months earlier). A little background; they didn't begin this until she could no longer swallow.
She had stopped swallowing food and even water..........so all that was given were "swabs" to moisten her mouth. It took about 24 hours.

I don't think people really suffer nowadays. A friend who passed recently was on a lot of morphine at the end; her husband said she suffered no pain at all, no distress.......this death was from lung cancer.

Times have changed.......hospice and nursing homes do know what they are doing to ease the patient's "sendoff" as well as the loved ones sitting with them at the end.........if that's any comfort.

We saw that Oregon documentary also. I have no problem with the Hemlock Society.........if that's what a person chooses.

[Golfingnut]

Originally Posted by senior citizen

I've read the same exact thing about Jackie Kennedy's "end".
I remember as she died the same day as my Irish stepfather.....

Actually, as part of palliative or comfort care now (in skilled nursing homes) we experienced them administering shots of morphine quite frequently on the last day.......the nurse sat by my side, actually.....and I watched her administer the morphine very frequently to my 91 year old mom........who had agreed to the "comfort care" which is also called palliative care (when she was admitted 18 months earlier). A little background; they didn't begin this until she could no longer swallow.
She had stopped swallowing food and even water..........so all that was given were "swabs" to moisten her mouth. It took about 24 hours.

I don't think people really suffer nowadays. A friend who passed recently was on a lot of morphine at the end; her husband said she suffered no pain at all, no distress.......this death was from lung cancer.

Times have changed.......hospice and nursing homes do know what they are doing to ease the patient's "sendoff" as well as the loved ones sitting with them at the end.........if that's any comfort.

We saw that Oregon documentary also. I have no problem with the Hemlock Society.........if that's what a person chooses.

Very comforting post. Thanks Senior Citizen. I believe you are correct in in your view of the vast majority of Hospice and Nursing Homes.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by redwitch

I'm terrified of developing dementia or Alzheimer's and have no doubt that if that day comes, I will find a way to walk away.

Anyone interested in this subject should read the book "Still Alice" by Lisa Genova. An excellent book.

My mother died a painful, lingering death from brain and bone cancer, despite morphine injections. I believe in a person's right to choose the time and mannor of death. My concern is, of course, what safeguards could be put in place because each situation is unique.

[asianthree]

we've been thinking about this long and hard being in the medical field you always ask if you have an advance directive. We have three children a doctor, a nurse, and psychologist. Even though we have expressed our wishes I'm sure in the end our three intelligent children will have differences of opinion. Your doctor and a second doctor needs to make you incompetent of making decisions and then if you have written expressions they should be carried out however, sometimes family have difficulty in the end