[CZN715]

It all depends what they gave your children. It’s terrible but everyone keeps track. If you don’t have children, I would give $125.00 per person attending so that’s $250. That covers the dinner. $4,000 is a crazy amount to spend so just cover your dinners and that will be fine. People don’t “make money” on their weddings anymore because everything is so expensive.

[Nucky]

We give $500 to everyone. It’s what my wife wants to do so I don’t question the amount at all.

If it was costing 4K to get to the wedding then the $500 would be adjusted downward. That traveling cost would make me adjust the usual $500 gift without a doubt even if it ruffled some feathers.

OP, excellent question and my advice to you is give what you feel is proper. Covering the cost of the meal would be more then generous considering the $4000 traveling cost. Have a good time.

[frank1975]

If it’s costing that much to attend I wouldn’t attend.

[EASY1948]

One day's pay

Originally Posted by Heartnsoul

Haven't attended a wedding in awhile. I know yrs ago it was $100 in a card. How much is it today for say a niece?
And I know this isn't revelant but is costing approximately $3,999 to attend

We give $100 to $200 which should offset the cost of the dinner.

[Hopeful Returnee]

Originally Posted by Heartnsoul

Haven't attended a wedding in awhile. I know yrs ago it was $100 in a card. How much is it today for say a niece?
And I know this isn't revelant but is costing approximately $3,999 to attend

I gave my niece $500 when she married 13 years ago but the wedding was within driving distance so there were no other expenses.

[DAVES]

An interesting thread. We just got an invite to a wedding. I suppose they had to invite us.
Did they expect we would go? I doubt it. The groom is my mother's sister''s daughters son. My aunt treated my mother very badly. Her son and daughter, mother of the groom treated me badly. They sent us a gorgeous invite. I sent them a check for $100. Issue avoided.

[DAVES]

Originally Posted by Nucky

We give $500 to everyone. It’s what my wife wants to do so I don’t question the amount at all.

If it was costing 4K to get to the wedding then the $500 would be adjusted downward. That traveling cost would make me adjust the usual $500 gift without a doubt even if it ruffled some feathers.

OP, excellent question and my advice to you is give what you feel is proper. Covering the cost of the meal would be more then generous considering the $4000 traveling cost. Have a good time.

"What my wife wants to do," Mostly, I do not care she is far more caring about normal stuff than I am. Is it important to me? Is it worth fighting about? If, it is I WILL DO WHAT I WANT.

Four thousand in traveling cost? Assuming it is a couple, where could the wedding be?

[Rapscallion St Croix]

My niece remarried in 2019 and as I am still waiting for a thank you note for the generous gift she received for her first wedding, she is still awaiting a gift for the second one.

[Prism]

Originally Posted by walterray1

would one come on TOTV and ask this question? We dont have kids and give to our nieces and nephews for all the holidays. We know what to give. You dont?

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

[Ecuadog]

Originally Posted by Rapscallion St Croix

My niece remarried in 2019 and as I am still waiting for a thank you note for the generous gift she received for her first wedding, she is still awaiting a gift for the second one.

Love it.

[rjm1cc]

Guess it depends on how well off you are and how well off the couple will be.
Maybe decline the invitation - if the travel does not include other activities - and send $1000.

[Stu from NYC]

Originally Posted by DAVES

"What my wife wants to do," Mostly, I do not care she is far more caring about normal stuff than I am. Is it important to me? Is it worth fighting about? If, it is I WILL DO WHAT I WANT.

Four thousand in traveling cost? Assuming it is a couple, where could the wedding be?

Outer Mongolia? It is a destination wedding.

[JMintzer]

Originally Posted by Stu from NYC

Outer Mongolia? It is a destination wedding.

Read the thread. He already explained that it was flights to NY, hotels, etc...

He also explained that it was $3000, and that the other number was a typo...

[Mleechu333@gmail.com]

Originally Posted by Tomptomp

Approximately $3999 ?
I close loved one is one consideration, otherwise I fill in the check at the reception. Minimum, of course , is the cost of the plate.

The minimum of the plate was my mother's thinking many years ago. I agree somewhat. The bottom line is how close you are to the couple and what one can comfortably afford. The gift should come from the heart. Not sure how many families would really consider the amount of one's gift as too important.