😉
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty,
and was leaving his mission in the jungle,
where he has spent years teaching the natives,
when he realizes that the one thing he never
taught them, was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief,
"This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts,
"Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response.
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says,
"This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and repeats,
"Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about his
results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds,
"Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his
blowgun and kills them both..
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that
he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these
people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied,
"My bike...

Another good one. NEXT!

Originally Posted by Guest

������
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty,
and was leaving his mission in the jungle,
where he has spent years teaching the natives,
when he realizes that the one thing he never
taught them, was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief,
"This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts,
"Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response.
They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says,
"This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and repeats,
"Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about his
results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.
As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of
natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds,
"Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his
blowgun and kills them both..
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that
he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these
people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied,
"My bike...

Now that is good even though I hate the title of this whole Thread. It is harassment. American Association of Law Libraries Past Conventions

What is Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress? — South Florida Injury Lawyer Blog — July 21, 2015

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'

So he tied her up and went golfing.

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something.
We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'

'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back.
'I'm so tired of chardonay.

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Rumor is that Herman resides in The Villages.

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be.

The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.

Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was.

The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community."


The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer.

Then, a Democrat Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was.

The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Democrats in front of the door.

Dear Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's on his knees 7 times a day with Muslims. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Dear Lost,

Suck it up and stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the idiot for 3 more years.

Signed, Abby

A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"

The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor?* I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied “Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

The cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery
store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the
security guard to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and
criticizing throughout the process. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what
she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid
can of peaches."

The judge then asked why she had done it.

She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the
store."

The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, "Nine, but what do you care about that?"

The judge patiently said, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine
days in jail -- one day for each peach."

As the judge was about to drop gavel, the lady's long suffering
husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.

The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"

The husband said, "Your Honor,
she also stole a can of peas."

The very title of this whole thread is harassment.

A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him.

He heard one girl say to the other; "Nine." Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten.

"Sorry to spoil your evening," said his friend, "but when I walked in they were speaking German".

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725

The very title of this whole thread is harassment.

Although you did post a few funny jokes too!