[Bridget Staunton]

I am from IL and I was told by my IL lawyer FL laws are different so you better check

[dewilson58]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

, I am mightily in agreement with "Live Close By, Visit Often". Makes good sense.

How do you define "Visit"??

[MandoMan]

Originally Posted by ColdNoMore

Given the total number of couples here, I'm sure there are a number... who have been married more than once.

Just curious of the numbers who chose to have a prenup (and the reasons for your choice)...in your second (or ???) marriage(s)?

I also recognize that there are many who have had only one marriage (and more power to them, for getting lucky enough to get it right the first time )...so this thread shouldn't really be of interest to those folks.

I’ve been married only once but single for ten years now. I would never remarry without a prenup, as I have children to whom I want to leave my retirement funds so that they will also have some when they retire. It’s important. Otherwise, the money and other things may disappear.

One of my very dear maiden aunts in her seventies married a man in his mid-eighties. Two years later, she died, and her short-term husband got her paid for house and all the money because her will was changed after the marriage. Then, when he died a year later, his kids threw away all her mementos of my grandparents and family and kept all of my aunt’s money that she had intended her nieces and nephews to get.

My Uncle Johnny and Uncle Dale, who had no children, always planned to leave everything to their nieces and nephews. They told us that. Johnny died. When Dale died, we knew we were heirs and were grateful for what was coming. Turned out that Dale, in her mid-nineties, had recently given $600,000 to a televangelist. When her home was sold and everything distributed, we nieces and nephews each got $10,000. Way better than nothing, but not what Uncle Johnny intended at all when he was saving that money decades ago. A prenup in their case wouldn’t have helped, but in many cases these things happen and it would have helped.

Let’s say you meet (for example) some guy in The Villages, and he sweeps you off your feet on the dance floor, and a month later you marry him and he sells his house and pays off the mortgage and second mortgage and moves into your paid-for house. Neither of you have kids. He turns out to have a lot of debts you didn’t know about and to be a deeply unpleasant person. You divorce him. Then you discover that he has a legal right to half of your assets. You empty out you retirement account so you don’t have to sell your house and give him half. Now you are still in your house, but down to living on Social Security, without that $1,000 a month you had before from your retirement funds.

It’s important for these things to be spelled out and in writing and legal.

[Tweety Bird]

After reading all this, this widow will remain single.

[Singerlady]

Originally Posted by ColdNoMore

Given the total number of couples here, I'm sure there are a number... who have been married more than once.

Just curious of the numbers who chose to have a prenup (and the reasons for your choice)...in your second (or ???) marriage(s)?

I also recognize that there are many who have had only one marriage (and more power to them, for getting lucky enough to get it right the first time )...so this thread shouldn't really be of interest to those folks.

When redoing my will, attorney recommended prenup. But...some parts of it the state won’t recognize! Very confusing. Didn’t realize a legal document could be ‘ignored’.

[GOLFER54]

I gave my name temporarily 3 times, the fourth time so far is intact. A pre-nup is necessary.

[062848]

Married 33 years second time.. have trusts made separately and jointly

[largokid]

We actually did a post-nup when we did our wills with the lawyers a couple of years after we got married. Mostly to ensure our kids understand the distribution of our assets and they were sent copies of the wills afterwards. It works for our family.

[LI SNOWBIRD]

Originally Posted by Two Bills

My wife and I have a prenup.
If she ever leaves me, she takes the ******* cat with her!!

I liked your post! Thanks

[charlieo1126@gmail.com]

Originally Posted by Singerlady

When redoing my will, attorney recommended prenup. But...some parts of it the state won’t recognize! Very confusing. Didn’t realize a legal document could be ‘ignored’.

and remember when they say it’s not about the money, it’s always about the money

[retiredguy123]

Originally Posted by Choro&Swing

I’ve been married only once but single for ten years now. I would never remarry without a prenup, as I have children to whom I want to leave my retirement funds so that they will also have some when they retire. It’s important. Otherwise, the money and other things may disappear.

One of my very dear maiden aunts in her seventies married a man in his mid-eighties. Two years later, she died, and her short-term husband got her paid for house and all the money because her will was changed after the marriage. Then, when he died a year later, his kids threw away all her mementos of my grandparents and family and kept all of my aunt’s money that she had intended her nieces and nephews to get.

My Uncle Johnny and Uncle Dale, who had no children, always planned to leave everything to their nieces and nephews. They told us that. Johnny died. When Dale died, we knew we were heirs and were grateful for what was coming. Turned out that Dale, in her mid-nineties, had recently given $600,000 to a televangelist. When her home was sold and everything distributed, we nieces and nephews each got $10,000. Way better than nothing, but not what Uncle Johnny intended at all when he was saving that money decades ago. A prenup in their case wouldn’t have helped, but in many cases these things happen and it would have helped.

Let’s say you meet (for example) some guy in The Villages, and he sweeps you off your feet on the dance floor, and a month later you marry him and he sells his house and pays off the mortgage and second mortgage and moves into your paid-for house. Neither of you have kids. He turns out to have a lot of debts you didn’t know about and to be a deeply unpleasant person. You divorce him. Then you discover that he has a legal right to half of your assets. You empty out you retirement account so you don’t have to sell your house and give him half. Now you are still in your house, but down to living on Social Security, without that $1,000 a month you had before from your retirement funds.

It’s important for these things to be spelled out and in writing and legal.

Thanks for posting some very Interesting stories. But, unless they were not of sound mind, didn't your relatives have the right to get married, or to change their will, or to give money away to whoever they wanted? It sounds like they may have planned to do something with their money, but changed their mind.

[Madelaine Amee]

I am still very fortunate to be married to my first and only husband. I like to call him my first husband to keep him on his toes .............. To be very serious I would never enter another marriage without making sure OUR children are fully protected, and I would hope that any decent parent would protect the children from the first marriage.

I have friends who have chosen to remarry. They have a credit card for the home expenses and their own personal credit cards for their expenses.

[Villagesgal]

Was widowed after 32 years of a very happy marriage and remarried at 50, we got a prenuptial agreement, both agreed it was a great idea. He passed after 11 years of another very happy marriage. Get the money issues out of the way and life as a couple is good. Should I be lucky enough to fall in love again I would at this age honestly not marry again, just live together. A prenuptial if you have assets and children is always a good idea, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and keep your finances separate. See an attorney and listen to his/her advice. Love is a wonderful thing, don't let money ruin it or your life.

[lindaelane]

If I marry, I would want a prenup. But I would only marry someone I trusted fully- although I am fallible and my trust could be misplaced. Resolution to this dilemma?

I would tell the person "I trust you fully, but if you get a brain tumor and have a personality change, this could be needed". Surely any nice person would sign after such an explanation and I would only marry a "nice person".

[cassjax2]

In the state of FL medical and personal debt (of the deceased) goes to the grave. When my husband died in 2010 all of his medical and personal credit card debt went to the grave. I returned his brand new car to the dealer. Not a thing they could do to me.