[Villagerjjm]

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

[Velvet]

OP, don’t put yourself on trial. I bet you were the same as me, tried your best at the time given the circumstances. No regrets, I keep doing the best I can each day. Go to sleep happy.

[MJY10101]

Coming from a very diverse town in CT, I truly miss the diversity here in The Villages. My opinion is that when minorities read about this place, they are turned off by the White Republican demographic. It is a haven for old people raised in the 50’s and 60’s who were inherently racist against mostly blacks. As a Jewish couple, we feel it too. Still hear the “Jew them down” comment if people don’t know we are Jewish. Also, it’s a little uncomfortable when everyone, during the Christmas holiday, forgets that not everyone in the world is Christian and wishes us a Merry Christmas or Asks if we have finished our shopping yet. We know it’s not mean spirited so we just thank them and move on. Just sayin.....

[Byte1]

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

[Stu from NYC]

Originally Posted by Byte1

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

Very well said

[Number 10 GI]

Originally Posted by newgirl

Marketing by the developer is why it is so white here. They only advertise to upper end white areas.

I had never heard of The Villages until some friends of ours bought a house here. They heard about it from friends who lived here. I've never seen any advertising for TV. I've spoken to many family members and friends that live all over the US and they had not heard of TV until we told them where we were living.
It's news to me that I'm "upper end white". Upper end must have a very low ceiling.

[justjim]

Originally Posted by Villagerjjm

How would you react if you had a son who wanted to marry her?

Assuming they were both adults -The simple answer is: “you can’t make decisions for your adult children”. Accept, love them and move on.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Everyone has racial biases. Not everyone is a "racist." Being a racist means being AGAINST someone of another race. You can have racial biases without being racist.

It can be a subtle difference in perspective, but there is a difference.

Example:

It's 9PM, dark outside, and there are a couple of homes on your block that have had "for sale" signs posted in the windows for a couple of months now.

All of a sudden you notice a car pull up under the carport of one of those houses. You can't see the driver from your view of the house, but on the passenger side, two black men get out of the car and approach the inside door to the house under the carport. It appears that one of them is older than the other but you really can't tell how old they are, since it's night and the vacant house is dark. The rest of the event is hidden because the car and the depth of the carport block your view.

Envision that situation for a second in your mind. Notice how you feel while you read it.

Now

Fast forward to the following year, another couple houses for sale.

Now a car pulls into the other carport. You can't see the driver. But you can see two white men get out on the passenger side; again, one is older than the other but you can't tell the age for sure.

Do you have an initial gut reaction to the first situation? I'm not asking how you THINK about it. I'm asking how you FEEL about it. Does your mind react almost instinctively, preparing to defend, in the first incident?

What about the second one? Do you just not even give it a moment's thought? Do you feel even a twinge of concern?

Now add another to the mix - for a bonus round:

The passenger side of the car opens and two women wearing dark long gowns and dark face veils (not mask - I mean hijabs) get out of the car. Gut reaction...

I posit that whenever we see "other" our minds will react. We have no control over it, it's instinctive.

What we DO about that instinct, or what we THINK about that instinct, is what determines whether or not we are racist. But the instinct itself is not racist. It is a racial bias.

[Rodneysblue]

Originally Posted by JimJohnson

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

That’s strange, I was raised in the late 50’s early 60’s and was taught that we were all equal no matter what color, race or religion. But I guess I was lucky to have parents that gave me that outlook on life.

[IvorT]

I don’t think the original,post was racist. Just the usual insecure, immature teenage male. It’s easy to regret past mistakes, but you can’t change them.

I’m disappointed that so many posts mention TV as being unwelcoming if you’re not of a certain party. My wife, now deceased, chose TV because it looked welcoming. She was a Democrat and I worry that this may not be the place for me either.

[billbob]

I too graduated from an Erie PA high school (East High School in 1966) Never had any problems and matter of fact a black friend named Earl ****** shared lockers next to each other and always laughed and got along great.

[twinklesweep]

Originally Posted by JimJohnson

If you were a white male in 1966 and you were not racist, you were breaking the rules of 1966. We were all raised in a racist society then. The question is, are you a racist now?

To fit the age of the OP, I'd have to go back a few years earlier, so let's say 1956. In my life experience this generalization doesn't fit for me. Though I can't agree or disagree that we were all raised in a racist society, if I was, then I must have not been exposed to it. I grew up in a large city up north where, yes, there were ethnic and racial neighborhoods, but there were many areas that were mixed. I don't recall that there were rules the poster is referring to being broken, and as a kid it did not occur to me that it was any different anywhere else (though evidently it was). I have no recollection of white privilege among kids, but I vividly recall it among adults. I dated members of minority groups and had—and still have—friends, some close, among different groups. I never thought of this as an issue—and am not about to start doing so now.

[timjones]

Originally Posted by Byte1

Yes, there is racism in America. Is it systemic? Consider this, if a certain group of white folks in power feel that black folks need more help, consideration, welfare, special education opportunities, special assistance when voting, priority job placement, etc. then isn't it those folks that are racists just because they are looking down on blacks and acting like they are superior to blacks? And hasn't it been that way for a long time? By doing this, don't they have not only financial control of blacks but mental slavery as well? Now, we have whites (not blacks) that believe we should erase history by burning school books and destroying statues related to history. Why? Guilt? Control? OK, so you eliminate all evidence of inequity then what proof do we have that there was EVER racism in America? Does the mere existence of blacks in this country prove that all white Americans were slave owners and that blacks were once slaves?
Treat blacks with respect by NOT giving them the "black" crutch. Allow them the same competitive standard as anyone else, no affirmative action, no quotas, no preferential treatment as all. Allow them to earn their respect just like anyone else and color will be forgotten. Demand that they assimilate just like every other ethnicity in America. This is America, not Europe, not Asia and not Africa. If you think that blacks need or deserve a guilt pay off, or your pity, then it is YOU that is racist. Looking down on blacks and not treating them the same as others makes them think you are condescending to them and do not have enough respect for them to hold them to the same standards of conduct and work ethics as anyone else. Making them always different only makes them below you. You are the racist.

Anyone from a multi-ethnic family knows what I mean when I say we hold everyone equally accountable for their actions. We make no excuses based on color. You gain respect by showing work ethics. You become color blind, seeing only motivation and performance.

Quit being disingenuous with minorities. Just be honest and treat them as you would wish to be treated and they will gain respect for themselves. Like someone once said "feed a man a fish and he eats for one day, but teach him to fish and he..."

Key word here is "assimilation." There is no white culture and black culture, just the American culture.

Byte1, your words express my thoughts. Thank you for stating it so well.

[billethkid]

Way too much time spent intellectualizing whites/blacks...

That is not the way real every day life is.

The more some try to label, categorize, theorize, hypothesize the more the discussion itself becomes racist. Working too hard to highlight the isolated incidences (once again) and then applying those incidences as though they represent the general condition.

Where was this effort 6 months ago?

One year ago?

Four years ago?

One year from now the situation will not be much different other than the dialogue which will also fall by the wayside as it has demonstrably done for the past 20 years!!

The more we discuss what we need as American the sooner many of the issues will be better treated. Let's eliminate the need to have to talk color as the measure.....because in the real daily life it is not!

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by mtdjed

I was raised in a white middle class (Low) neighborhood in a suburb of Erie , Pa..

Went to a school system with a senior class of 133 in 1966 and only one black student. I remember her and recall that her name was Elizabeth XXXX( I vividly recall but don't feel right about revealing). She was there only for our senior year as I recollect.)

I never approached her to introduce myself or say Hi, but at the time I never approached many of the girls. Do not know how the other guys and girls treated her.

Now, if I saw someone outside the norm being unattended, I. would go out of my way to include.

Was I a racist in 1966?

This IS a broad and complex subject. I grew up in the Pittsburgh, Pa. area in the 50s and 60s. Overall Blacks were somewhat but not 100% socially accepted. They all lived in a small area of town. They had some upward mobility but far less than whites. Most did not go to college. Of these the majority did so because they were exceptional athletes, which was their main method for upward mobility. I grew up in the suburbs and saw only one Black at my elementary school. High school changed that. There were many Blacks there because both the suburbs and the downtown residents attended my high school. Some of the more popular kids in high school were Black. I played sports and about 30% of the sports teams were made up of Blacks. There was a small amount of interracial dating then. I had lots of Black acquaintances but no close friends. In College, it was about the same. Plus many whites went out of their way to express non-racist opinions. Then I joined the Air Force - during my 1st year I had a close Black friend at tech school. We did not keep in touch. During the last 3 years, I ran into many, many VOCAL prejudiced white enlisted men from the deep South. I knew there were some Black Officers, but I never saw any. I was not real happy about the rise of Black Militants and the Fist Salute of the late 60s. Also I was close to many cities burning from race riots. Also, I was a little ticked off at Mohammed Ali for going Muslim. After MLK and their non-violent protests became apparent to me, I could see their point and perspective. I came to understand Mohammed Ali and respect him for his willingness to sacrifice and go to prison for 1 year in the prime of his boxing career - truly impressive! So, basically, I came full circle in my understanding of the minority (all minorities) situation and importance to America.
That's MY story, without any glory, and I am sticking to it......