[Schaumburger]

Originally Posted by Barefoot

There are doctors who specialize in this area. However I doubt most men would go willingly to talk about their lack of sex drive. I'd think that most men who go to a sex doctor are given an ultimatum by their partner. It's probably the least favorite topic for any man to discuss.

There was a movie a couple of years back, I didn't see it. I think it starred Meryl Streep. I think it was about this subject. Anyone know the movie I mean? If you rented this movie, it might get some conversation going. On the other hand, it might just really annoy your husband.

You probably have two choices: either decide you can live with the situation and be happy, or talk your husband into seeing a medical professional.

Bare, The movie is called "Hope Springs" -- excellent movie. Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones play a long married couple whose children are grown, and Meryl Streep wants to bring the romance back to their marriage, so they attend an intensive marriage counseling program. Steve Carrell is their marriage counselor. Rent it!

[dotti105]

Girls, girls, girls! After "the change" astroglide becomes a bedside necessity. I also like KY"X". It is silicon based and lasts and lasts.
Like Jeff Foxworthy said "It will get a Cadillac into a dog house"
I'll let you think about that for a bit! ;-)

[dotti105]

Originally Posted by lovsthosebigdogs

Different people just have different levels of need. If this is a change for him maybe you could talk about it or get him to discuss the change with his doctor (men usually aren't too keen on this). If he goes to bed that late and gets up that early (before you) how does he function during the day on so little sleep? Maybe that is part of the problem. He must be exhausted.

If this is a change for him, he could have "low T". Low testosterone. It is more common than most men think. It can cause moodiness, lack of sex drive and lack of interest in other activities. Low level depression. Easily diagnosed with a blood test and easily treated with testosterone given as a body rub daily or an injection every 2 weeks.

Certainly worth checking into. It can ruin his quality of life. ( and yours!)

[drooney60@hotmail.com]

I was thinking about asking him to come back to bed in the morning and then trying to make love to him then. I also want to try and shower together and see if that works. What do you think?

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by drooney60@hotmail.com

I was thinking about asking him to come back to bed in the morning and then trying to make love to him then. I also want to try and shower together and see if that works. What do you think?

I don't know what the collective "we" think, but I will go out on a limb and tell you what I think. My life is very different from yours, been married a long time to the same guy ............. but, if I suggested to him to shower together at this stage I think he would think I had gone crazy. We were very romantic and fixated on each other in our more youthful days, but through the years that has slowly died down to a "companionship" level, and I have a gut feeling that is what is happening to your relationship. I am assuming that your five year marriage is a second for both and (in my opinion) you are not going to get the same level of youthful fervor that you would have had as young marrieds.

There are many things that affect a mans "drive" and one of the worst is if he has been through chemo or a serious illness. As the other posters on this board have told you, he needs a full and thorough medical check and until that happens there is not much more you can do. Your nervousness and attitude could also be attributing to his inability, he knows you are not satisfied with the way things are and if you are pressuring him to perform this is going to deflate his ego (and elsewhere) even more.

What about talking to your gyno and see what she thinks. I am sure a really good female doctor could help put your mind at rest much quicker than we can.

What about this - sit yourself down and assess the situation: You are no longer alone, you have a guy, most probably a great guy, you have had five great years together so far and you really want to stay with this guy until death do us part, so you might need to sort of accept the changes that are happening and make the best of a good thing.

Just my opinion ................ and I am very level headed and try to make the best of every situation.

[Barefoot]

In our house, jobs are divided into blue jobs and pink jobs. Outside stuff is blue for him, and inside stuff like laundry is pink. I always feel a sense of satisfaction when I do a blue job.

I have swarms of wasps this time of year. I went to Walmart for some wasp catchers, and of course they were sold out. My friend told me how to make "home-made" wasp catchers out of plastic bottles. Yesterday's model didn't work well. I stabbed myself twice putting the holes in the plastic bottle. And in the process of hanging it up, I got stung by a wasp. And I made the holes too big so the wasps all enjoyed the sugared water and then escaped

So today I made two more .. obviously practice makes perfect. The wasps are lining up to get into my two wasp catchers, I've caught at least 35 of the little devils, way cool. Girls rock.

[kagney123]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

ummm....did anyone....way back then, before, you know, the bumps appeared.....did anyone wear a bra stuffed with Kleenex????

I knew of someone personally who did, and she would shed her tissues here and there.

Hi Gracie
OMG I wore tissues in my bathing suit.....
got pushed into the pool....
ohh the horror LoL

[lovsthosebigdogs]

Originally Posted by Barefoot

In our house, jobs are divided into blue jobs and pink jobs. Outside stuff is blue for him, and inside stuff like laundry is pink. I always feel a sense of satisfaction when I do a blue job.

I have swarms of wasps this time of year. I went to Walmart for some wasp catchers, and of course they were sold out. My friend told me how to make "home-made" wasp catchers out of plastic bottles. Yesterday's model didn't work well. I stabbed myself twice putting the holes in the plastic bottle. And in the process of hanging it up, I got stung by a wasp. And I made the holes too big so the wasps all enjoyed the sugared water and then escaped

So today I made two more .. obviously practice makes perfect. The wasps are lining up to get into my two wasp catchers, I've caught at least 35 of the little devils, way cool. Girls rock.

All I can say is, "You go, Girl!". I'm very proud of you. That's a lot of wasps to rid yourself of in one fell swoop! I'm sorry you got stung, though, and I hope it doesn't hurt too much. I know how proud you must feel when you do a 'blue' job. I have never heard it called that before but I like it. Makes you feel accomplished, doesn't it?
In our house my husband does all of the jobs that involve putting things together because I stink at it. Even putting 25 piece kids puzzles together is a challenge for me. Just perceptually impaired I guess and it isn't gonna happen. Well, our vacuum couldn't keep itself together until we moved this spring and I was forced to replace it so when I brought the new one home, to my horror, it had several pieces in the box. I actually attempted to assemble it myself. I ran into a bit of trouble even though frankly a bliind idiot could have done it (no political slur meant for the visually impaired or low IQ people). I called Customer Service and they talked me through it. Seems I needed to slam one piece into another with the force of a jackhammer to keep it in there. When DH got home he was really impressed and I never told hiim I called Customer Service. However he couldn't remove the short stair cleaning piece from the handle and neither could I. He tried to convince me to leave it that way and use the smaller stair cleaning piece to clean ALL the rugs in my house but I wasn't going to go with that. HE had to go back to the store for help. I loved it but kept the smirk on the inside.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by lovsthosebigdogs

I know how proud you must feel when you do a 'blue' job. I have never heard it called that before but I like it. Makes you feel accomplished, doesn't it?
In our house my husband does all of the jobs that involve putting things together because I stink at it. Even putting 25 piece kids puzzles together is a challenge for me. Just perceptually impaired I guess and it isn't gonna happen. Well, our vacuum couldn't keep itself together until we moved this spring and I was forced to replace it so when I brought the new one home, to my horror, it had several pieces in the box. I actually attempted to assemble it myself. I ran into a bit of trouble even though frankly a bliind idiot could have done it (no political slur meant for the visually impaired or low IQ people). I called Customer Service and they talked me through it. Seems I needed to slam one piece into another with the force of a jackhammer to keep it in there. When DH got home he was really impressed and I never told hiim I called Customer Service. However he couldn't remove the short stair cleaning piece from the handle and neither could I. He tried to convince me to leave it that way and use the smaller stair cleaning piece to clean ALL the rugs in my house but I wasn't going to go with that. HE had to go back to the store for help. I loved it but kept the smirk on the inside.

Your story is very funny, especially your politically correct clarifications!

I am convinced that men and women's brains are just wired differently. Fireboy can't cook at all - he finds it very difficult to even boil corn. But he can build/repair/assemble anything. If I can get him motivated! I am totally incapable of assembling anything, so I'm very impressed with your vacuum assembly story. Well done. I'm quite sure I couldn't have done it, even with help from Customer Service.

Have you moved to TV yet? If you're living in TV already, are you going to Gracie's lunch? I'll be sorry to miss it.

[asianthree]

i mow, paint, laundry, dishes, cook, grocery, cause i need it to be the way i want...

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by asianthree

i mow, paint, laundry, dishes, cook, grocery, cause i need it to be the way i want...

I think we all have a little of that!
I have to confess, when Fireboy loads the dishwasher, I wait until he's not around, and then I restack all the dishes so nothing is touching.

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by asianthree

i mow, paint, laundry, dishes, cook, grocery, cause i need it to be the way i want...

Me too, but I don't mow or paint. I even do the trash because he seems to be able to overlook things that need to go out. I also clean the garage .....

But, my beautiful sons are not above doing laundry and housework .......... they married smart women who straightened them out from the getgo.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

I even do the trash because he seems to be able to overlook things that need to go out.

I think women are more naturally detail oriented and meticulous. Some men are super tidy, but I think most men could drink a coffee on the patio, and then walk away from the dirty cup.

[ssmith]

^^^^^ Agree, my husband is the neat and tidy guy (he is an Engineer) but I still have to pick up after him....not complaining just remarking.

ON another subject....I know this was discussed in the past; but want to check to see if anyone has done it or not!!! I am talking about permanent make-up.

I am thinking about doing permanent eyeliner...You see I have no eyes unless I paint them on. Now I know there are some issues with it....I will do it at a plastic surgeons office locally (I am up north) and I know it can fade and need touched up; but wonder what happens when sagging and wrinkles get even more developed than they already are.

I believe Kelly Rippa did it and loves it....she also did something with her eyelashes....not sure what though....but cost for vanity will be limited for me.

Anyone have any comments?

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by ssmith

^^^^^ Agree, my husband is the neat and tidy guy (he is an Engineer) but I still have to pick up after him....not complaining just remarking.

ON another subject....I know this was discussed in the past; but want to check to see if anyone has done it or not!!! I am talking about permanent make-up.

I am thinking about doing permanent eyeliner...You see I have no eyes unless I paint them on. Now I know there are some issues with it....I will do it at a plastic surgeons office locally (I am up north) and I know it can fade and need touched up; but wonder what happens when sagging and wrinkles get even more developed than they already are.

I believe Kelly Rippa did it and loves it....she also did something with her eyelashes....not sure what though....but cost for vanity will be limited for me.

Anyone have any comments?

I'm not experienced, but I've thought about permanent eyeliner. Surely eyelids don't sag that much? I'm a big chicken, I like for others to try things first so I can see the finished product. I think it's done by tattoo? SSmith, can you please do it and let us all know the result?

I know several women who have permanent eyebrows, but it doesn't look natural. Although I've read that eyebrows can be done to look natural by "feathering in individual strokes". I'm fascinated by anything that is easy-peasy and improves appearance.