[Whalen]

Originally Posted by katezbox

Bare -

Thanks for making it real... Any my apologies for digressing into politics on this thread.

Nonie - one of my friends heard the infomercial for the body shaper. Like many of you gals (and unlike me) she is well endowed. I told her that all the "back rolls" that she was trying to do away with had to go somewhere. If a pair of hip hugger jeans gives a woman who is not a stick a muffin top - this thing must have her boobs backwards and over her head...

Remember the song...

Do your boobs hang low,
Do they wobble to and fro,
Can you tie them in a knot,
Can you time them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder,
Like a continental soldier?

Do yo BOOBS HANGGGGGGG LOOOWOWOWOWWWW?

Awwwwwwwww Kate,
I'll be singing that song all night.
(the boys sing it a little differently)

And Bare, thanks for your insightful post.
I am the cocker spaniel in the story.

[katezbox]

Actually, I think I am more of a golden retriever - smily but a food vacuum - eats everything in sight...

[Boomer]

Well, I am sitting here having another glass of, you guessed it, V8. But I also know that this weekend I will be having stuff that I like better. In fact, I plan on it.

Kathie, you did a good thing. This thread is fun. And now, I do not know if it is my ignoring it or my attitude or my imagination, or if political stuff in the lineup really has calmed down. But I think it might be better. (--nuff bout that from me)

Kate, I do not know the tune to the song you are singing. If it is a famous tune, and you tell me what it is, I can get it stuck in my head, too.

And Barefoot, you are right. I know. I will never be what the charts say that I should be. And I do not want to be.

At this point, I do not want to lose a whole bunch of weight because I know that my face would then sag and sag and drop. Sometimes when somebody finds out how old I am, they stare a little (and sometimes even a lot) closer and then say something like, "Wow! You sure do not have very many wrinkles for your age."

Now, tell me please, whatthehell is that supposed to mean? "for your age" Geez. Isn't saying that something like saying to somebody, "Hey, you sure do not sweat much for a fat girl." Why in the world, do some people stare at you really close when you tell them your age? Like with a magnifying glass. And then say stuff like that?

When I hear that, I just smile and pat myself on my own face and say, "Yeah, I like to keep it plumped up so wrinkles do not show so much."........But you know.....there is something to that I think maybe.

Boomer

[Boomer]

Well, this is just great. I just looked back at that post I just wrote about how people inspect you sometimes for wrinkles and then make age comments.

You know we all like it when somebody says that we do not look our age. I do. Even though I know that it is probably just because they are trying to be nice.

But then I beat myself up a little for caring about whether I look younger or not.

And here I sit, over analyzing what I just wrote. And swilling down V8. And sounding goofy as all get out. Self-analysis. Geez.

I have just spent my life savings on a moisturizer from Elizabeth Arden. It was at one of those "free" makeover deals. You all know the drill. Well, I did that last April. That is when I bought this stuff. And I think it might work better than the old stuff I have been buying for years at the grocery store. Geez. Surely. Surely. I know better. Don't I?

And the packaging on this moisturizer, that needs to be hauled around in a Brink's truck, is a nightmare, designed by some kind of fiend. It is a jar where you cannot see how much is left. You push on the sealed top and the stuff is dispensed, but you cannot tell how much is left in the jar without breaking that seal. And that is forbidden because..............

Supposedly this moisturizer is being protected by that seal, from air or light or Martians or whatever. (I need to find out from Kathie if that is a crock. I think she did package engineering.) So anyway, there is something just nuts about even thinking about when something is going to run out when I am not even sure that it works. but am pretending that it does. And it cost too much anyway. I was caught up in the moment. That usually does not happen to me. But it did that day. And now....could it be working???? Or if it is, what do I think that is worth?????

Oh well, enough stream of consciousness from me for a while. I better get back to working on getting stuff ready for weekend company. But speaking of makeup counters, sometime I will tell you about the Merle Norman experience in TV. (It was good.)

Boomer

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by katezbox

Remember the song...

Do your boobs hang low,
Do they wobble to and fro,
Can you tie them in a knot,
Can you time them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder,
Like a continental soldier?

Do yo BOOBS HANGGGGGGG LOOOWOWOWOWWWW?

Kate, I remember that song very, very well. We used to sing it enthusiastically at Girl Guide Camp. When we were 11. Before we had boobs.

And of course we had no idea what that song meant ... that we would get boobs, and that our boobs would betray us and migrate south, ending up getting caught in our belt loops and under our arms if we sleep on our backs.

On a more positive note, Boomer is overdosing on V8 juice and probably has lost three dress sizes by now. Don't tell Nonie or she'll order a truck load of V8 juice.

[JeanneBeannie]

You girls are killing me I am laughing so hard .

Jeanne

[dillywho]

Originally Posted by Boomer

Well, this is just great. I just looked back at that post I just wrote about how people inspect you sometimes for wrinkles and then make age comments.

You know we all like it when somebody says that we do not look our age. I do. Even though I know that it is probably just because they are trying to be nice.

But then I beat myself up a little for caring about whether I look younger or not.

And here I sit, over analyzing what I just wrote. And swilling down V8. And sounding goofy as all get out. Self-analysis. Geez.

I have just spent my life savings on a moisturizer from Elizabeth Arden. It was at one of those "free" makeover deals. You all know the drill. Well, I did that last April. That is when I bought this stuff. And I think it might work better than the old stuff I have been buying for years at the grocery store. Geez. Surely. Surely. I know better. Don't I?

And the packaging on this moisturizer, that needs to be hauled around in a Brink's truck, is a nightmare, designed by some kind of fiend. It is a jar where you cannot see how much is left. You push on the sealed top and the stuff is dispensed, but you cannot tell how much is left in the jar without breaking that seal. And that is forbidden because..............

Supposedly this moisturizer is being protected by that seal, from air or light or Martians or whatever. (I need to find out from Kathie if that is a crock. I think she did package engineering.) So anyway, there is something just nuts about even thinking about when something is going to run out when I am not even sure that it works. but am pretending that it does. And it cost too much anyway. I was caught up in the moment. That usually does not happen to me. But it did that day. And now....could it be working???? Or if it is, what do I think that is worth?????

Oh well, enough stream of consciousness from me for a while. I better get back to working on getting stuff ready for weekend company. But speaking of makeup counters, sometime I will tell you about the Merle Norman experience in TV. (It was good.)

Boomer

You are without a doubt one of the funniest, most put-together people I have ever known (even if I don't really know you)! What a great spin you put on everything!! I love it! Keep it up....hope to meet you in person at some point. Thanks for putting things in such a great perspective. I can always count on you to brighten up the day even through the rain.

[KathieI]

Ok Girls, so I just sent a few of you a pm about the secret of my spanx and how to go (or NOT to go ) to the bathroom while wearing it. I swear what I wrote is the honest truth.

I hope no admins are reading this cause they are all males, buttttt, this pm business is a pain, I have to cut and paste it to send it to multiple peeps. Do they think I have nothing else to do??? Its cutting into my dancing time.

Now Kate, I never heard that song so you'll have to sing it to be the next time we meet at Southern Lifestyles..... or wherever.

Bare,,,,, who didn't have boobs at 11??? I was born with them.. I came out wearing a beautiful pink gingham checked 28AAAA bra .... It was so pretty I still have it. I wear it as a night shade to block the sun in the morning.

Boomer, don't blame me for every package in the cosmetic industry esp Arden's. That's one company I never worked for. But these new young engineering kids always designed packages that us oldies couldn't even open. I was the tester for all their packages and if it failed me, it wasn't being marketed.
Also, Mrs Boomer, you know that I had a very famous movie star cousin who used to tell me that she had to stay a certain weight because the camera always put 20 lbs on the actors, but she shouldn't get too thin cause then all the wrinkles showed. So there is something to that... Tough life we women have.

OK, kids, time for dancing. See ya later.

[Whalen]

Originally Posted by Boomer

Well, I am sitting here having another glass of, you guessed it, V8. But I also know that this weekend I will be having stuff that I like better. In fact, I plan on it.

Kathie, you did a good thing. This thread is fun. And now, I do not know if it is my ignoring it or my attitude or my imagination, or if political stuff in the lineup really has calmed down. But I think it might be better. (--nuff bout that from me)

Kate, I do not know the tune to the song you are singing. If it is a famous tune, and you tell me what it is, I can get it stuck in my head, too.

And Barefoot, you are right. I know. I will never be what the charts say that I should be. And I do not want to be.

At this point, I do not want to lose a whole bunch of weight because I know that my face would then sag and sag and drop. Sometimes when somebody finds out how old I am, they stare a little (and sometimes even a lot) closer and then say something like, "Wow! You sure do not have very many wrinkles for your age."

Now, tell me please, whatthehell is that supposed to mean? "for your age" Geez. Isn't saying that something like saying to somebody, "Hey, you sure do not sweat much for a fat girl." Why in the world, do some people stare at you really close when you tell them your age? Like with a magnifying glass. And then say stuff like that?

When I hear that, I just smile and pat myself on my own face and say, "Yeah, I like to keep it plumped up so wrinkles do not show so much."........But you know.....there is something to that I think maybe.

Boomer

As to the wrinkles, my husband told me "there are no wrinkles in a beachball".

He didn't eat for a while after that one.

[KathieI]

Originally Posted by Whalen

As to the wrinkles, my husband told me "there are no wrinkles in a beachball".

He didn't eat for a while after that one.

LOL LOL LOL.... very good Whalen. Never mind not eat, he wouldn't be alive!!

BTW, I went to a seminar today given by a plastic surgeon who performs a procedure similar to Lifestyle Lifts. Very interesting but I decided later that I'd rather use the $4000 to join Jenny Craig and lose some weight and maybe my double chin will become a single chin again.

Boomer, perhaps if you drink enough V8 it will have a magic effect on your skin and instead of spending all your money on expensive EA moisturizers you can buy cases and cases of V8. Take before and after pictures for the book you will write about the V8 All-In-One Skin Rejuvenator/Diet. Of course, another issue that could arise is when you wake up someday, look in the mirror and discover your entire body is as red as all that V8 tonic you've been downing as of late.

Kathie, as I said before, thanx for the 411 on the spanx. I'm in.

Bare, I don't care what Kathie says, not everyone had boobs at age 11. I for one, cried and begged my mom for a bra when I was 12 even though I was flat as a board. You know what her solution was? She gave me a hand-me-down trainer bra that was s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d out, faded and had elastic dangling from several key areas. I cried some more. Fast forward to the summer when I turned 17 when I suddenly BLOOMED from an A to a D!!! I swear if that happened nowadays the kids at school would be whispering about my store boughts Well they probably whispered anyway. It was such a big change during such a short period of time.

So there you have it, not all of us are born with beautiful pink gingham bras...

[chelsea24]

Alas, yes my boobs moved south before I did.

Boomer, do I actually have to drink the V8, or just hit myself in the head with it until I'm unconconscious and forget to eat????

Boinggggggg!!! I shoulda had a V8!

[Boomer]

Originally Posted by chelsea24

.................................................. ....
......................
Boomer, do I actually have to drink the V8, or just hit myself in the head with it until I'm unconconscious and forget to eat????

Boinggggggg!!! I shoulda had a V8!

Hey Chelsea,

You must have seen one of the galley copies of my new diet book, The Fiddle-Dee-Dee Diet: "Tomorrow Is Another Day." I was inspired to write it by the words of Scarlett O'Hara after she went way, way beyond that 18 inch waist of hers.

Scarlett started wolfing down a lot of cornbread, slathered in freshly churned butter, and fried chicken, and apple dumplings with rum sauce, as she became more and more aware of the fact that Rhett was never coming back. Whatinthehell was she thinkin' anyway? Geez. She let that one get away???? (And everybody wondered why Margaret Mitchell wrote only one book.)

Ohhhhh, just think if Margaret Mitchell had written a sequel to GWTW.........Just think what kind of image of Scarlett would be engraved forever in our collective brain. Scarlett stuffing herself because she knows how bad she had messed up, until Rhett just finally said that famous line and walked out of her life.

And then....... Scarlett does Spanx!

Anyway, hitting yourself in the head with the big plastic bottle with the green cap is covered in Chapter 4. Doing so does work and becomes necessary to do on about Day 4 of the plan.

Boomer

[chelsea24]

....And poor Scarlett would waddle around because her hoop skirt was stuck on her hips! And as she lifted her fist to the sky and shouted "As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again..." the South knew she wasn't kidding!

And Prissy, who didn't know nothin' about birthin' no babies, yelled "Can I get an amen to that sistah!"

Hahaha! Boomer! I think 'Scarlett Does Spanx' is terrific! Please let us read the galley's!

I can hear her now... "Fiddle Dee...................FRITOS! LET ME AT'EM!

[Boomer]

And Chelsea, do you think there is a woman anywhere in this "Girl Talk" thread or anywhere else all across this land who can figure out whatinthehell Scarlett ever saw in that -- oh such a good boy -- gotta shake the sheets to find him -- Ashley Wilkes!

That has been bothering me since I read the book in junior high school. Does anybody around here know the answer????

Ohhhhh, I gotta go get some sleep. It is past my bedtime and I should not be typing.

Boomer