[REDCART]

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife
that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.

Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
"Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.
Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch
and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,
"Honey, please... just one more time before I die."
She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time.

After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep.
Morris, however, worried about his impending end, tosses and turns,
until he's down to 4 more hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours.
Do you think we could..."

At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris,
I have to get up in the morning... you don't."

[Muncle]

There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed.

He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies.

With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As he grasped a warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula.

Gasping for breath, he asked her, “Why did you do that?"

“Those are for the funeral."





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