[ijusluvit]

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.

Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.



Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.



About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,



'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.



Could we please do it one more time?' Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.







Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks,



'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'



She says, 'Of course, dear,' and they make love for the third time.



After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep.



Morris, however, worried about his impending demise, tosses and turns, unable to sleep.



Finally, he taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...'



The wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'

[diskman]

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND
> DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.
>
> AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.
>
> THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS
> TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN
> INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
>
> THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY
> GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
>
> THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS
> AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
>
> AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I
> THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'
>
> 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'
>
> 'WELL , SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND AL L THE TIME I WAS
> LOVING HER.'
>
> HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
>
> 'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL W OULD YOU SAY THAT?'
>
> 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NEC K, AND
> I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE
> WINDOW... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER!'
>
>