[skyguy79]

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . . . . . but it's still a gift.

...and remember "POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON".

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by skyguy79

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE THAT EXPRESSES A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is . . . that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . . . . . . but it's still a gift.

...and remember "POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON".

JOE!

You are still witty and clever and charming and in this case used up all of the great ones. The aphorisms. Did I spell that right?

Gracie who is not as clever.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

JOE!

You are still witty and clever and charming and in this case used up all of the great ones. The aphorisms. Did I spell that right?

Gracie who is not as clever.

Gracie, I wish I were that clever. However I must state that I received the list from an old time friend and didn't think them up all by my lonesome! And YES... you probably did spell "that" right but I can't find where you wrote it. You also spelled "aphorisms" right too!

[brostholder]

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.

[graciegirl]

A son is a son 'til he gets him a wife.
A daughters a daughter all the days of her life.


Is that one, or just a sweet rhyme?

[skyguy79]

Here's a few more:

• Man can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
• Junk expands to fill the space allotted.
• People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.
• Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
• Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

[pooh]

Handle stress like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, p**s on it and walk away.

[scrapple]

The medicine only works if you take it.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by pooh

Handle stress like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, p**s on it and walk away.

One hand washes the other but two hands wash the face.

[eweissenbach]

Often it is better to keep ones mouth shut and appear ignorant than to open it and remove any doubt.

[2BNTV]

The definition of insanity is doing the same over and over again and expecting a different result.

[skyguy79]

I am not young enough to know everything.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.

[2BNTV]

The only way to keep a secret is not to tell anyone.

The best advice is not to give any.