[LG]

Two Blondes With Hammers...
Rachel and Deborah, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for >Humanity house. Rachel, who was nailing down house siding, would reach >into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder >or nail it in.
Deborah, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you >throwing those nails away?"
Rachel explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them > have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Deborah got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't >defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

[REDCART]

REPLACEMENT WINDOWS

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.
He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellloooo....just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I told him just what his fast talking sales
guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR
these windows would pay for themselves!
Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.
He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
I bet he felt like an idiot.

[JohnZ]

Quote from a very famous blonde haired lady.... "Blonde jokes don't offend me because I know I'm not stupid. I also know I'm not blonde".

Guess who?

[villages07]

Dolly Parton?

[ripwho]

anna nicole smith ?

[JohnZ]

Dolly Parton is correct!

[F16 1UB]

TRUE STORY

I'll never forget the time when my daughter had her girlfriend spend the night. While they were fixing each others hair they spilled hair die on the carpet in her bedroom. My daughters friend said "It'll dissappear in 6-8 weeks. And yes her friend was blonde.

Steve

[bestmickey]

Here's a blonde joke for us gals....


Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.
He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says,
"I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation
with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the
guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff --
grass. The deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and
the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest
idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

[bestmickey]

And now, just to show I don't take offense at jokes (I was a natural blonde "in the day")....

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman
police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's
license.

The blonde driver dug through her purse and was
getting progressively more agitated.

"What does a license look like?" she finally asked.
The blonde policewoman replied, "It's square and it
has your picture on it." The blonde driver finally
found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the blonde policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The
blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it
back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you
were a cop."