[REDCART]

Company Mergers

As you know, the stock market has not been in the greatest shape lately. It seems that, because of current economic conditions, many companies are contemplating mergers and acquisitions.

Here are a few to keep an eye on:

1. XEROX and WURLITZER.
(They're going to make reproductive organs)

2. FAIRCHILD ELECTRONICS and HONEYWELL COMPUTERS.
(The new company will be called Fairwell Honeychild)

3. POLYGRAM RECORDS, WARNER BROTHERS and KEEBLER. <--------FAVE
(The new company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker)

4. W.R.GRACE CO., FULLER BRUSH CO., MARY KAY COSMETICS, and HALE BUSINESS SYSTEMS.
(The new company will be called Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace)

5. 3M and GOODYEAR.
(The new company will be called MMM Good)

6. JOHN DEERE and ABITIBI-PRICE.
(The new company will be called Deere Abi)

7. HONEYWELL, IMASCO and HOME OIL.
(The new company will be called Honey,Im Home)

8. DENISON MINES, ALLIANCE and METAL MINING.
(The new company will be called Mine All Mine)

9. GREY POUPON and DOCKERS PANTS.
(The new company will be called Poupon Pants)

10. KNOTT'S BERRY FARM and THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR WOMEN.
(The new company will be called Knott NOW)

11. ZIPPO MANUFACTURING, AUDI, DOFASCO and DAKOTA MINING.
(The new company will be called Zip Audi Do-Da)