Definitions

» Site Navigation
Home Page The Villages Maps The Villages Activities The Villages Clubs The Villages Book Healthcare Rentals Real Estate Section Classified Section The Villages Directory Home Improvement Site Guidelines Advertising Info Register Now Video Tutorials Frequently Asked Questions
» Newsletter Signup
» Premium Tower
» Advertisements
» Trending News
» Tower Sponsors




















» Premium Sponsors
» Banner Sponsors
» Advertisements
Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-05-2011, 04:28 PM
Mikeod's Avatar
Mikeod Mikeod is offline
Sage
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Caroline
Posts: 5,021
Thanks: 0
Thanked 48 Times in 26 Posts
Default Definitions

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2 Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an ####.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid..
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
  #2  
Old 05-05-2011, 04:37 PM
hedoman's Avatar
hedoman hedoman is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Polo Ridge
Posts: 612
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default



Now THAT's funny!
__________________
PA, NJ, CT, NC - Polo Ridge 2011

"The difficult we can do immediately the impossible just takes a little longer"
  #3  
Old 05-06-2011, 12:24 PM
K9-Lovers's Avatar
K9-Lovers K9-Lovers is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Village of El Cortez. Before: Canada, NY, VA, AL, AK, NV, DE & France, Germany
Posts: 2,135
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

"Bozone" -- hilarious! Now these are really cute. How funny!
__________________
K9-Lovers
  #4  
Old 05-06-2011, 01:41 PM
graciegirl's Avatar
graciegirl graciegirl is offline
Sage
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 39,406
Thanks: 4,199
Thanked 4,696 Times in 1,609 Posts
Send a message via AIM to graciegirl
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by K9-Lovers View Post
"Bozone" -- hilarious! Now these are really cute. How funny!
Oyster? Now I can't wait to tell my friend Ruthie that one...!

Hilarious! All of them.

Gracie who is an ignoranus.
__________________
It is better to laugh than to cry.
  #5  
Old 05-06-2011, 02:15 PM
Uptown Girl's Avatar
Uptown Girl Uptown Girl is offline
Platinum member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Villages
Posts: 1,545
Thanks: 5
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

Great stuff!
  #6  
Old 05-06-2011, 02:40 PM
Bill-n-Brillo's Avatar
Bill-n-Brillo Bill-n-Brillo is offline
Sage
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Granville, OH.....and TV snowflakes!
Posts: 6,909
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hey mike - Here's another one to add to the "alternate meanings for common words" list:

---------------------------------------------------------------
Condominium, n. A condom large enough for the whole family.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Bill
  #7  
Old 05-06-2011, 02:42 PM
2BNTV's Avatar
2BNTV 2BNTV is offline
Sage
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 10,696
Thanks: 1
Thanked 114 Times in 46 Posts
Default

Clever post. I enjoyed it.
Closed Thread

Thread Tools

You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:02 PM.