[islandgal]

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Author Unknown

I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. - Author Unknown

I've spent most of my life golfing. The rest I've just wasted. - Author Unknown

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken. - Raymond Floyd

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
Pete Dye (His golf courses reflect this belief!!!)

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.- Hank Aaron

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?Al Boliska

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. - Ben Hogan

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole.
Have fun. The end. - Chuck Hogan

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose. - Woodrow Wilson

A golfer's diet: live on greens as much as possible . - Author Unknown

Gone golfin' ... be back about dark thirty. - Author Unknown

Born to golf. Forced to work. - Author Unknown

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off. - Author Unknown

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. - Jimmy DeMaret

May thy ball lie in green pastures .... and not in still waters. - Author Unknown

If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. - Author Unknown

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of bagpipes. - Author Unknown

[brostholder]

I've already stolen a bunch of these for my facebook page. Very funny!

[skyguy79]

If you're following a politician on the golf course and before T'ing off yell "FORE" down the fairway, the politican will instinctively yell back "AGAINGST" each time!