[The Great Fumar]

FUMAR BANNED FROM WAL-MART..........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
>
> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
> trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
> and
> preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my
> wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife
> received
> the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:
>
>
>
> Dear Mrs. Fumar
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite
> a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
>
> forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
> against Mr. Fumar are listed below and are documented by our video
> surveillance
> cameras.
>
>
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and rand omly put them
> in people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
> at 5-minute intervals.
>
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
> official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag
> of M&M's on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
> carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
> told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
>
> blankets
>
> from the bedding department.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him
> he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me
> alone?'
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and
> used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
> loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
> 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud
> speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
>
> 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least ..
>
> 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
> waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
> here!'

Fumar the magnificent..........

[KathieI]

Fumar, I hate to say it, BUT, knowing you, I really believe this is a true story. LMAO.

[swrinfla]

SWR

http://hubpages.com/hub/Old_Man_Banned_from_Wal-Mart

[F16 1UB]

Sounds to me like he's next in line for IL governors position. Orrrrrr he's been too high at altitude with too little oxygen.