For the golfers (hope it doesn't offend anyone...)

Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-29-2013, 08:35 AM
twinklesweep twinklesweep is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 374
Thanks: 0
Thanked 26 Times in 19 Posts
Default For the golfers (hope it doesn't offend anyone...)

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was
the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee—and this hole is a monster, Mother: -540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green—and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted—and it hits a bird in mid-flight!'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said:

'You missed the f****** putt, didn't you?'
  #2  
Old 05-29-2013, 08:43 AM
DonH57's Avatar
DonH57 DonH57 is offline
Sage
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Village Santo Domingo.
Posts: 3,807
Thanks: 1
Thanked 533 Times in 264 Posts
Send a message via AIM to DonH57
Default

LOL........... That's great. Loved it.
  #3  
Old 05-29-2013, 08:46 AM
davecz1 davecz1 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Villages, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Memphis, Los Angeles, Boston, New York, Norfolk, Chicago.
Posts: 98
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Old one, but a FUNNY one!
  #4  
Old 05-29-2013, 09:18 AM
ugotme's Avatar
ugotme ugotme is offline
Gold member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: The Village of Charlotte
Posts: 1,183
Thanks: 0
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default

Good one.
I probably would have missed the putt also.

__________________
Brooklyn, NY; Bethpage, NY; Tamarac, FL and N O W The Village of CHARLOTTE !!!!
  #5  
Old 05-29-2013, 09:39 AM
Ecuadog's Avatar
Ecuadog Ecuadog is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Podunk
Posts: 2,283
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1,029 Times in 459 Posts
Default

Excellent.
  #6  
Old 05-29-2013, 01:40 PM
redwitch's Avatar
redwitch redwitch is offline
Sage
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,099
Thanks: 3
Thanked 79 Times in 36 Posts
Send a message via Yahoo to redwitch
Default

roflao (and this comes from a non-golfing, ex-Catholic school girl)
__________________
Army/embassy brat - traveled too much to mention
Moved here from SF Bay Area (East Bay)

"There are only two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle; the other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein
  #7  
Old 05-29-2013, 01:41 PM
Halle's Avatar
Halle Halle is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 712
Thanks: 2
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default

__________________
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.
  #8  
Old 05-31-2013, 04:59 PM
SALYBOW's Avatar
SALYBOW SALYBOW is offline
Platinum member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The Villages, fl
Posts: 1,518
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via Skype™ to SALYBOW
Default

Too funny. I would have done the same thing.
__________________
Sally Bowron
Cincinnati, Ohio; Osceola Hills at Soaring Eagle, TV

When God made me he said Ta Da!
  #9  
Old 05-31-2013, 05:42 PM
Taltarzac725's Avatar
Taltarzac725 Taltarzac725 is offline
Sage
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 49,450
Thanks: 9,519
Thanked 3,345 Times in 2,067 Posts
Default

I thought the hawk was going to get hit by an airplane next flown by Tiger Woods!
Closed Thread


You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:55 AM.