How to Speak Proper Golf.......

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Old 06-06-2025, 01:28 PM
SHIBUMI SHIBUMI is offline
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Default How to Speak Proper Golf.......

Lesson 1

a. there is no such thing as a sand trap........its a bunker, the rule book never mentions the words sand trap

b. never say slice or hook, it denotes a lower skill level, just say draw(slight left movement) or fade(slight right movement) fyi nobody, nobody, hits the ball straight even Iron Byron

c. the group in front of you is always playing too slow

d. the group behind you is always playing too fast

e. the greens are always too slow and the rough too high

f.if someone says they are trying to copy a tour players swing....triple the bet

g. never talk about 3 putting...talk about the one put you made

this should help get you better thru cocktail parties where golfers abound, you will bond more
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Old 06-06-2025, 05:17 PM
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While I was driving the golf cart past the lake across from the Pimlico Recreation Center a green golf ball hit the sidewalk just to the right of me. He/she must have been taking golfing lessons from Happy Gilmore. That is when Happy Gilmore first started hitting golf balls.

Last edited by Taltarzac725; 06-06-2025 at 05:22 PM.
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Old 06-06-2025, 06:19 PM
BrianL99 BrianL99 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHIBUMI View Post
Lesson 1


b. never say slice or hook, it denotes a lower skill level, just say draw(slight left movement) or fade(slight right movement) fyi nobody, nobody, hits the ball straight even Iron Byron

:
Lesson 1:

"Iron Byron" has been gone for over 20 years.

Testing equipment can absolutely hit a golf ball, straight.

The AVERAGE PGA Tour player curves the ball 11 yards, over 290 yards. An average designed/planned deviation of 3.8%.

There are 1000's of golfers who can hit a golf ball +/- 1% ... that's straight.
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Old 06-06-2025, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHIBUMI View Post
Lesson 1

a. there is no such thing as a sand trap........its a bunker, the rule book never mentions the words sand trap

b. never say slice or hook, it denotes a lower skill level, just say draw(slight left movement) or fade(slight right movement) fyi nobody, nobody, hits the ball straight even Iron Byron

c. the group in front of you is always playing too slow

d. the group behind you is always playing too fast

e. the greens are always too slow and the rough too high

f.if someone says they are trying to copy a tour players swing....triple the bet

g. never talk about 3 putting...talk about the one put you made

this should help get you better thru cocktail parties where golfers abound, you will bond more
Well. Yes. The sand is actually trapped in the bunker until you knock some out!
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Old 06-06-2025, 06:53 PM
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Never forget LOFT...

Lack Of F*##ING Talent!
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Old 06-06-2025, 09:15 PM
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What's more painful, golf balls or tennis elbow?
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Old 06-07-2025, 05:33 AM
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e. the greens are always too slow and the rough too high

But in The Villages, the greens ARE too slow 😂😂😂
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Old 06-07-2025, 05:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHIBUMI View Post
Lesson 1

a. there is no such thing as a sand trap........its a bunker, the rule book never mentions the words sand trap

b. never say slice or hook, it denotes a lower skill level, just say draw(slight left movement) or fade(slight right movement) fyi nobody, nobody, hits the ball straight even Iron Byron

c. the group in front of you is always playing too slow

d. the group behind you is always playing too fast

e. the greens are always too slow and the rough too high

f.if someone says they are trying to copy a tour players swing....triple the bet

g. never talk about 3 putting...talk about the one put you made

this should help get you better thru cocktail parties where golfers abound, you will bond more
Thanks! Now my golf-speak can improve even if my game doesn’t.
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Old 06-07-2025, 06:57 AM
SHIBUMI SHIBUMI is offline
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Did not know Iron Byron died......... but, by definition, deviation is not straight.........
just ask a carpenter

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianL99 View Post
Lesson 1:

"Iron Byron" has been gone for over 20 years.

Testing equipment can absolutely hit a golf ball, straight.

The AVERAGE PGA Tour player curves the ball 11 yards, over 290 yards. An average designed/planned deviation of 3.8%.

There are 1000's of golfers who can hit a golf ball +/- 1% ... that's straight.
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Old 06-07-2025, 07:07 AM
ehendersonjr ehendersonjr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHIBUMI View Post
Lesson 1

a. there is no such thing as a sand trap........its a bunker, the rule book never mentions the words sand trap

b. never say slice or hook, it denotes a lower skill level, just say draw(slight left movement) or fade(slight right movement) fyi nobody, nobody, hits the ball straight even Iron Byron

c. the group in front of you is always playing too slow

d. the group behind you is always playing too fast

e. the greens are always too slow and the rough too high

f.if someone says they are trying to copy a tour players swing....triple the bet

g. never talk about 3 putting...talk about the one put you made

this should help get you better thru cocktail parties where golfers abound, you will bond more
… and it’s not called “mulligan,” it’s called “mule-agin” because only asses use them. 😁
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Old 06-07-2025, 08:16 AM
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I disagree with part of your b. Yes, draws and fades are slight movements left and right (right-handed golfer), respectively. But what does one call strong movements left or right? They are called hooks and slices. And shot that takes what appears to be a very sharp turn left is a duck hook. I've played with many highly skilled golfers and what I described are the terms they use.
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Old 06-07-2025, 08:20 AM
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I was under the impression that any extreme deviation of the ball from the tee, was called a "F***it!!
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Old 06-07-2025, 08:23 AM
Regorp Regorp is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHIBUMI View Post
Lesson 1

a. there is no such thing as a sand trap........its a bunker, the rule book never mentions the words sand trap

b. never say slice or hook, it denotes a lower skill level, just say draw(slight left movement) or fade(slight right movement) fyi nobody, nobody, hits the ball straight even Iron Byron

c. the group in front of you is always playing too slow

d. the group behind you is always playing too fast

e. the greens are always too slow and the rough too high

f.if someone says they are trying to copy a tour players swing....triple the bet

g. never talk about 3 putting...talk about the one put you made

this should help get you better thru cocktail parties where golfers abound, you will bond more
A bunker is an underground structure for protection and/or storage. Traps on a golf course that contains sand designed to capture your golf ball is indeed referred to as a "sand trap".
  #14  
Old 06-07-2025, 08:43 AM
willis100 willis100 is offline
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As of 2019, these terms are used in the areas of a golf course.

Areas of the Course
The five defined areas that make up the course:

The general area,

The teeing area the player must play from in starting the hole they are playing,

All penalty areas,

All bunkers, and

The putting green of the hole the player is playing.

Last edited by willis100; 06-07-2025 at 08:44 AM. Reason: improve
  #15  
Old 06-07-2025, 08:53 AM
jimhoward jimhoward is offline
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"rough" is not a thing in the rule book either if that is what is setting your lexicon.

I think if you want to bond more you should use more slang and make your slang the more creative. I am tired of calling bunkers "the beach" and the green the "dance floor" , the fairway "main street" and my draw a "hooker". What are other suggestions?
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