[ijusluvit]

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.


2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.


3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.


4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.


5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..


7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.


8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.


9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.


10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.


11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.


12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In
case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'


13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.


16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.


17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.


18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.


19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.



20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.


21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.


22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit the target.


23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.


26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by ijusluvit

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.


3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.


4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..


7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.


8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.


9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.


10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.


11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.


12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In
case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'


13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.


16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.


17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.


18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.



20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.


21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.


22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit the target.


23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.

26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

Loved the saying in bold type. I need to remember using them.

Thanks for posting.

[Pturner]

I just love it, ijustloveit! (Oh, is that one?) Here are a few more:

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A penny saved is not very much.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

[Pturner]

oh, oh, oh, another good one:

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

[Mikeod]

My dad used to say: You know, I could be as wrong as you are!

[2BNTV]

A friend of mine used to say to his son:

"Use your head for something other than a hat rack".

[Happinow]

If someone asks you "are you surprised?" You may respond with..."I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up with my head stapled to the carpet!"

It's a visual....made me laugh.

[Pturner]

Originally Posted by Happinow

If someone asks you "are you surprised?" You may respond with..."I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up with my head stapled to the carpet!"

It's a visual....made me laugh.

[mgjim]

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

[TrudyM]

"No use being dumb unless you show it"

This is an old one but my hubby had never head it when my dad said it so now he uses it all the time.