[ijusluvit]

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by ijusluvit

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I just loved it, Ijusluvit!

[Mikeod]

Originally Posted by ijusluvit

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

And there will be someone from the east coast at the back leaning on the horn!!!

[Figmo Bohica]

16. You can't fix stupid.

17. I know the voices in my head are not real. But they have some really good ideas.

18. You can't fix stupid, You can only hope to survive the symptoms.

19. Artificical intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

[Yankee Quilter]

I have one, done in caligrahy, hanging in my kitchen! It has been the theme of my life, in many stages. When we move to TV it will be in that kitchen too ....

Anything that can go wrong, will, when he is out of town!

Thanks for the smile!

[glgene]

•All things are possible...except skiing through a revolving door.

•The only perfect science is hind-sight.

•Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.

[ijusluvit]

Originally Posted by glgene

•All things are possible...except skiing through a revolving door.

•The only perfect science is hind-sight.

•Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.

We're on a roll here!

[Taltarzac725]

Just one you think you have mastered the roundabouts-- here come the snowbirds again.

The only time the Villages webcams do not work is when the very scantily clad Swedish models are here checking out the Villages for their parents' new digs.

You are a huge NASCAR fan but the only time that NASCAR drivers visit the Villages is during Republican rallies. That's when you have very little chance of meeting them unless you are a close friend of the Morse family.

Just when you are finally getting ready to buy in the Villages, Andrew D. Blechman writes another version of Leisureville.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725

Just when you are finally getting ready to buy in the Villages, Andrew D. Blechman writes another version of Leisureville.

I have comments I could present on what I just read about Blechman's Leisureville from the reviews on his website, but I'll only address one of the comments made as quoted here by a reviewer:

"Blechman enters The Villages ... an escapist community where seniors binge drink and experience their share of Viagra-fueled hook-ups." — The Cleveland Plain Dealer

I've been living in TV for a total of nearly 10 months so far, and if our hook-ups are Viagra fueled, why haven't I gotten even one single rise out of living here yet?

[ijusluvit]

Originally Posted by skyguy79

I have comments I could present on what I just read about Blechman's Leisureville from the reviews on his website, but I'll only address one of the comments made as quoted here by a reviewer:

"Blechman enters The Villages ... an escapist community where seniors binge drink and experience their share of Viagra-fueled hook-ups." — The Cleveland Plain Dealer

I've been living in TV for a total of nearly 10 months so far, and if our hook-ups are Viagra fueled, why haven't I gotten even one single rise out of living here yet?

Maybe your blue pills are really M&Ms.

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by ijusluvit

Maybe your blue pills are really M&Ms.

Sorry, but I've never taken blue pills or even Calice and I don't even have M&M's very often either. {Oh do I have a smiley I could use here, but I'd probably get in trouble with Admin if I did}

[Golfer in Sanibel]

Some good ones. Here are some others;

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.

If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt ......for an 8.

[asianthree]

All things that turn to crap stays crap

[SALYBOW]

Originally Posted by Yankee Quilter

I have one, done in caligrahy, hanging in my kitchen! It has been the theme of my life, in many stages. When we move to TV it will be in that kitchen too ....

Anything that can go wrong, will, when he is out of town!

Thanks for the smile!

I can relate to this. Three water incidents between 10;00 and midnight while he was away.

[ijusluvit]

Originally Posted by SALYBOW

I can relate to this. Three water incidents between 10;00 and midnight while he was away.

Wait....I'm not that familiar with Florida...but isn't it a state law...no, maybe it's federal...All water accidents MUST occur after 10:00 pm?

I know in some places it also has to be on Friday night.