Older One Liners!!

» Site Navigation
Home Page The Villages Maps The Villages Activities The Villages Clubs The Villages Book Healthcare Rentals Real Estate Section Classified Section The Villages Directory Home Improvement Site Guidelines Advertising Info Register Now Video Tutorials Frequently Asked Questions
» Newsletter Signup
» Premium Tower
» Advertisements
» Trending News
» Tower Sponsors




















» Premium Sponsors
» Banner Sponsors
» Advertisements
Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #61  
Old 01-15-2020, 09:42 AM
Two Bills Two Bills is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,121
Thanks: 452
Thanked 2,100 Times in 721 Posts
Default

Fat as a butchers dog.
Gone like a f**t in a breeze.
****ed as a newt.
Drunk as a skunk.
Rare as hens teeth.
Sandwich short of a picnic.
A face that could curdle milk.
I trust you as far as I could throw you.
A face like the back of a bus.
A stitch in time save nine.
Don't spoil the ship for a ha'porth of tar.
The ship was lost for want of a nail.
Check is in the post.

.......and the dreaded words from my Mother
"Wait till I get you home!"

etc. etc.
  #62  
Old 01-15-2020, 11:39 AM
Skip’dabeat Skip’dabeat is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

He’s wound tighter than an idiots watch!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  #63  
Old 01-15-2020, 02:14 PM
Nucky's Avatar
Nucky Nucky is offline
Sage
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 10,081
Thanks: 2,719
Thanked 1,651 Times in 739 Posts
Default

Colder than a Witches Breast!

"May the road rise to meet you, and the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm on your face. and the rains fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again.
  #64  
Old 01-19-2020, 07:28 PM
Spoiler's Avatar
Spoiler Spoiler is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Village of Monarch Grove
Posts: 306
Thanks: 277
Thanked 343 Times in 186 Posts
Default

“Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs”

Last edited by Spoiler; 01-19-2020 at 07:36 PM.
  #65  
Old 01-19-2020, 07:44 PM
Velvet's Avatar
Velvet Velvet is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 2,438
Thanks: 384
Thanked 1,561 Times in 662 Posts
Default

May you live as long as you want
And never want as long as you live
  #66  
Old 01-20-2020, 05:29 PM
mtdjed mtdjed is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 808
Thanks: 1
Thanked 436 Times in 106 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by karostay View Post
He's so tight when he squeezes a nickel the Buffalo S--ts
or makes the Indian bite the buffalos a$$.
  #67  
Old 01-20-2020, 07:18 PM
ColdNoMore ColdNoMore is offline
Sage
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Between 466 & 466A
Posts: 10,516
Thanks: 82
Thanked 1,447 Times in 630 Posts
Default

Said about a subordinate, co-worker, group member, etc.


"He/she may be a jerk...but they're our jerk."
  #68  
Old 01-20-2020, 08:00 PM
Rapscallion St Croix's Avatar
Rapscallion St Croix Rapscallion St Croix is offline
Platinum member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: TV..Ugly Golf Swing Capital of the World
Posts: 1,682
Thanks: 18
Thanked 573 Times in 214 Posts
Default

Didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my ass.
__________________
What am I supposed to call my Plantation Shutters now?
  #69  
Old 01-21-2020, 07:10 AM
Michael Charles
Guest
Posts: n/a
Default

Time flies like the wind, fruit flies like bananas.
  #70  
Old 01-25-2020, 05:27 AM
Spoiler's Avatar
Spoiler Spoiler is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Village of Monarch Grove
Posts: 306
Thanks: 277
Thanked 343 Times in 186 Posts
Default

“That would be like pizzin in the wind”
  #71  
Old 01-25-2020, 05:29 AM
Spoiler's Avatar
Spoiler Spoiler is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Village of Monarch Grove
Posts: 306
Thanks: 277
Thanked 343 Times in 186 Posts
Default

“What are you waiting for, .... Christmas?”
  #72  
Old 01-25-2020, 10:24 AM
fndrbndr's Avatar
fndrbndr fndrbndr is offline
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Defiance, OH
Posts: 57
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 1 Post
Default

He's dumber than a flat-headed chicken!
__________________
Defiance, OH

"Pros play until they can't get it wrong."
"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe."-- Lee Trevino
  #73  
Old 01-26-2020, 05:12 AM
Spoiler's Avatar
Spoiler Spoiler is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: Village of Monarch Grove
Posts: 306
Thanks: 277
Thanked 343 Times in 186 Posts
Default

“You can lead a horse to water...”
  #74  
Old 01-26-2020, 06:26 AM
Nucky's Avatar
Nucky Nucky is offline
Sage
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 10,081
Thanks: 2,719
Thanked 1,651 Times in 739 Posts
Default

Nothin' from Nothin' Leaves Nothin'.
  #75  
Old 01-26-2020, 06:35 AM
graciegirl's Avatar
graciegirl graciegirl is offline
Sage
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 38,596
Thanks: 3,396
Thanked 3,229 Times in 1,122 Posts
Send a message via AIM to graciegirl
Default

Does the pope poop in the woods? Is the bear Catholic?
__________________
It is better to laugh than to cry.
Closed Thread

Tags
sayings, older, makes, favorite, smackaronies

Thread Tools

You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:44 PM.