[gongoozler]

Yesterday I was at my local Sam's Club buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the wonder dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant in the Villages?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it
works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it
works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's
ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.



Sam's Club won't let me shop there anymore.

[dpingram]

[downeaster]

I enjoy the amusing stories here. This one made me LOL.