[REDCART]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see
you've regained consciousness". Now you probably
won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on
the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk
again and everything, but......your ***** was severed
in the accident and we couldn't find it.

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've
got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now
have the technology to build a new *****." They work
great but they don't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.

The man perks up. "So," the doctor says,
"you must decide how many inches you want.." But
this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you
had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might
be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide
to only invest in a five incher now, she might be
disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in
helping you make a decision.

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor
comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your
wife?"

Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped
you make a decision?"

Yes" says the man.

What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."