[Larryandlinda]

*TELL *ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!**
Three *sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. **One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. *She *puts her foot in and pauses. *She yells to the other *sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'*

The *94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and *see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?
*
The *92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea *listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I *sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She *then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as *I see who's at the door.'
********** *

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO *US !!!! ***Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, *were playing golf one fine March day. *One remarked *to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man *replied.**'It's Thursday.'* The third man chimed in, 'So am I. *Let's have a *beer.'
*********
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO *US !!!! **A little *old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing *home. *As she walked, she would flip up the hem of *her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an *elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she *said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and *finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
****** *
TELL *ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!**
Two *elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. **Over the years, they had shared all kinds of *activities and adventures. *Lately, their activities *had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.**One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other *and said, 'Now don't get mad at me... *I know we've *been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of *your name! *I've thought and thought, but I can't *remember it. *Please tell me what your name is.' *Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes; she just*stared and glared at her. *Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
***********
TELL ME *THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.* Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. *Please be careful!'
he said:
no there are hundreds going the wrong way
********
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO *US !!!! *Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the*dashboard. *As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. *The stoplight was red, but they*just went on through. The*woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be losing it.*I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another *intersection and the light was red. Again, they went*right through. *The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really*concerned that she was losing it. She was getting*nervous At the next intersection, sure enough, the light*was red and they went on through. *So, she turned to the other woman and said, Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? *You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I*driving ?' ***********

[cherylncliff]

I love them! Too true!