[diskman]

Dear Red States,
>>
>> We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own
>> country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
>>
>> In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,
>> Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan Illinois and the
>> entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial
>> to the nation, and especially to the people of the new
>> country of New California.
>>
>> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave
>> states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

>> We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
>>
>> We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
>>
>> We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
>>
>> We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and
>> entrepreneurs.
>>
>> You get Alabama.
>>
>> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the
>> red states pay their fair share.
>>
>> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than
>> the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
>> families. You get a bunch of single moms.
>>
>> Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice
>> and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
>> back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask
>> your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently
>> willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
>> don't care if you don't show pictures of their
>> children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success
>> in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
>> willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
>>
>> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
>> 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90
>> percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the
>> nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
>> quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
>> 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high-tech
>> industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
>> redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister
>> schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
>>
>> With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to
>> cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their
>> projected health care costs), 92percent of all U. S.
>> mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent
>> of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
>> virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
>> Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
>>
>> We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
>>
>> Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe
>> Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe
>> life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty
>> or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory,
>> 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent
>> of you crazy monsters believe you are people with higher
>> morals then we lefties.
>>
>> By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can
>> have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
>>
>> Peace out,
>>
>> Blue States

[samhass]

Woooohooooo diskman!! That sounds like a plan!!

[SteveZ]

Dear Blue States,

Got your letter and sorry to see you go. It's probably for the best, though.

We get the fresh air and sunshine - you get the LA smog and NY pollution.

We keep most of the national parks - you get most of the superfund clean-up sites.

We keep the Gulf States, most of the Midwest and the Southeastern Atlantic shore - you get to keep the Northeastern polluted waters and the California shoreline (until San Adreas "faults").

We keep most of the agricultural areas - you keep the rust belt.

We'll still sell you food, but you need to support your welfare cases on your own.

We're glad you get to keep Hollywood - We really have no need for Michael Moore or all of those stretch limosines with "save the environment" bumper stickers.

And most of all, we keep the Gateway to the West, The Big River, Mount Rushmore, the Big Sky country, the best music centers, Mayberry and The Villages - you get custody of the United Nations and most of DC.

You can keep all the pot - you're going to need it!

In the words of the millions of new residents who will be rushing to join your enlightened union - Vaya con Dios!

Regards,

...Red

[GMONEY]

[Cliff]

diskman; I am saddened to see a posting like your's. Such things showed up before the Civil War, I'm sure. I know in your eyes it was a bit of comedy. But, it is a definite sign of decay in this wonderful country. If you want to start dividing this country, take into consideration that not all residents of your States feel as you do. As a former New Englander, I take offense to your idea that people there agree with you. Get it in gear, whoever you are, and consider doing something constructive for the Country.

[Bogie Shooter]

Probably bomb Iran on Saturday Nov 8 at 2:00PM!

[SteveZ]

Here's hoping that in the theme of this board, all is in humor. That's my intention.

I'm taking diskman as I would David Letterman, Jay Leno or any of the nighttime humorists who have provided similar banter. My comments (hopefully) have been taken with the same levity.

This is a very diverse nation, and the categorization of blue/red doesn't really do it justice. Within each state are confines of like-thinking people, regardless of what those thoughts may be.

If we have brought a smile, great. If we haven't, please try. Nothing is more American than being able to look and laugh at ourselves.

In the words of a great poet:

From The Sound up in Long Island
Out to San Francisco Bay
And everthing that's in between them Is our own
And we may have done a little bit Of fightin' amongst ourselves
But you outside people best leave us alone
'Cause we'll all stick together
And you can take that to the bank
That's the cowboys and the hippies
And the rebels and and the yanks
You just go and lay your hand
On a Pittsburgh Steelers' fan
And I think you're gonna finally understand

....from In America, by Charlie Daniels

[chachacha]

two great posts and some great lines to live by from charlie daniels...reminding us how much we all love each other after all...

[ejp52]

I thought all the liberals went to Canada after the 2 Bush victories.

[Jim007]

Originally Posted by ejp52

I thought all the liberals went to Canada after the 2 Bush victories.

I can't speak for liberals, but this is one independent that did not leave, and I would not leave if McCain is elected. I would probably cry a bit, and then brace for being completely broke by the end of his first term. But what the H..ll, we're all in this together. Bread and water isn't that bad.

[billethkid]

there will be a huge sigh of relief that will fall upon the land.

The only real divisive under current in this country that divides is the partisan
positioning of far too many. Now if there was a way to sub divide and give them their own little space to banter each other in, that would be progress...Washington, DC would be a good start for 'em.

BTK

[bimmertl]

Dick Cheney endorsed McCain this weekend. That should take care of the undecided voters.

I can't wait to see McCain give a speech where he whole heartedly thanks Cheney for his well deserved endorsement. Should be a classic!

[GMONEY]

Originally Posted by bimmertl

Dick Cheney endorsed McCain this weekend. That should take care of the undecided voters.

I can't wait to see McCain give a speech where he whole heartedly thanks Cheney for his well deserved endorsement. Should be a classic!

One of the best endorsements one could have,, NOT!!

[diskman]

Originally Posted by SteveZ

Here's hoping that in the theme of this board, all is in humor. That's my intention.

I'm taking diskman as I would David Letterman, Jay Leno or any of the nighttime humorists who have provided similar banter. My comments (hopefully) have been taken with the same levity.

This is a very diverse nation, and the categorization of blue/red doesn't really do it justice. Within each state are confines of like-thinking people, regardless of what those thoughts may be.

If we have brought a smile, great. If we haven't, please try. Nothing is more American than being able to look and laugh at ourselves.

In the words of a great poet:

From The Sound up in Long Island
Out to San Francisco Bay
And everthing that's in between them Is our own
And we may have done a little bit Of fightin' amongst ourselves
But you outside people best leave us alone
'Cause we'll all stick together
And you can take that to the bank
That's the cowboys and the hippies
And the rebels and and the yanks
You just go and lay your hand
On a Pittsburgh Steelers' fan
And I think you're gonna finally understand

....from In America, by Charlie Daniels

My posting was meant to give you a laugh

[Jim007]

I just want to say, to all my friends. If you haven't voted yet, get out and vote tomorrow. God bless America and the United States within.