[PugMom]

yes, Joe, it can be done, but is remarkably expensive. i kept my husband @ home for the majority of his illness- i didnt trust anyone to do the job so i did it myself. you will need to go beyond caregiving as the needs rise, & you will need to hire a specially trained dementia nurse. the one i chose was 28$ an hour, and when things got REALLY tough, i had 1 during the day & another one overnite. this is an ugly disease, i feel for you. if you choose to go the route of facilities, you MUST go in unannounced to see how thing are when they know family isn't there. @ the very end, Mark went to a short visit @ HarborChase over on Powell. i took him out in about 10 days, lol. when i went in, he was uncared for, no shower or clean clothes, food all over the floor & a soiled bed. (i got him showered & dressed myself.) when i spoke to the gal in charge, she told me he needed XTRA care & that i'd need to hire a caregiver (???) to spend the day with him. it was insane! i led him to the car & brought him back home. they may have changed names, but is still the same cast of characters. if you need names & numbers, pm- me here. God Bless, Joe & many huggz sent ur way, oxo

[Shipping up to Boston]

Originally Posted by Fastskiguy

We visited Bridgewater Park in Ocala yesterday and the director said this exact same thing so your post is incredibly timely! He also said that in the first week, plenty of missteps are going to be made but after 1 week...then 1 month...then out to 3 months so that comment helped set our expectations at the current place.

I appreciate the comments!

Joe

Honestly, you hear horror stories about these facilities. Having followed your thread....I believe you and your family have done your due diligence, set up some safeguards and have found a respectable facility to meet your loved ones....and your needs. You clearly are committed to them and are compassionate, resolute in their care. Nothing but respect sir

[Shipping up to Boston]

Originally Posted by PugMom

yes, Joe, it can be done, but is remarkably expensive. i kept my husband @ home for the majority of his illness- i didnt trust anyone to do the job so i did it myself. you will need to go beyond caregiving as the needs rise, & you will need to hire a specially trained dementia nurse. the one i chose was 28$ an hour, and when things got REALLY tough, i had 1 during the day & another one overnite. this is an ugly disease, i feel for you. if you choose to go the route of facilities, you MUST go in unannounced to see how thing are when they know family isn't there. @ the very end, Mark went to a short visit @ HarborChase over on Powell. i took him out in about 10 days, lol. when i went in, he was uncared for, no shower or clean clothes, food all over the floor & a soiled bed. (i got him showered & dressed myself.) when i spoke to the gal in charge, she told me he needed XTRA care & that i'd need to hire a caregiver (???) to spend the day with him. it was insane! i led him to the car & brought him back home. they may have changed names, but is still the same cast of characters. if you need names & numbers, pm- me here. God Bless, Joe & many huggz sent ur way, oxo

Heartbreaking
Thank you for sharing your story. Very relatable

[asianthree]

Originally Posted by Fastskiguy

We visited Bridgewater Park in Ocala yesterday and the director said this exact same thing so your post is incredibly timely! He also said that in the first week, plenty of missteps are going to be made but after 1 week...then 1 month...then out to 3 months so that comment helped set our expectations at the current place.

I appreciate the comments!

Joe

You’re welcome, just remember you still have one at home with dementia, time consuming and frustrating and mentally challenging on your part every waking minute.

Each you and your spouse need once a week to take a1/2 day for yourself.

If any of you are a veteran, the VA website has Caregiver sites that offer tips, online workshops, and live chats. I know it’s hard sometimes, but there are people in your corner, you just need to reach out. TV also has some clubs for caregivers and dementia patients, with interactive groups for aging parents.

Many are in that caregiver mode, if you have questions or just having a bad day, TOTV has always been a go to for many.

So week 2 should have progress with facility, I personally use an Alexa with screen. Not only can I see what is going on, I can speak to parents. Gives them that face to face even though not in the same room.

Again big deep breath.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Originally Posted by Fastskiguy

Just a quick update and another couple of questions! We're at the 1 week point in memory care and things are solidly "OK". The staff is good to him, the food is good, and he's making a friend or two as well. Mentally he's improving but physically he's still wheelchair bound and can't do things like move around on the bed by himself, eating, getting to the toilet, etc. It's only 15 minutes from the house so we're able to visit daily and the visits have been refreshingly pleasant....More visiting/less work!!

In this facility there is no "call button", the staff checks on residents periodically and doesn't depend on a resident pressing a call button. The goal is every 2 hours but sometimes it's more like 6-8 (we have the motion activated cameras in the room so we can monitor it). Personally I am happy with his care. He's in pretty good shape as are the rest of the residents.

However, he is NOT happy with the level of care. What he really wants is a call button he can press and then somebody comes running. He's got a lot of wants....TV channel changed, sip of water, adjust the sheets or the angle of the bed, trip to the bathroom, fluff the pillow etc. etc. When he lived with us.....we were doing that kind of stuff at home as a matter of course. Now that he's in a facility, things are different and he goes hours just waiting for somebody to come in and check on him.

Is what he wants possible anywhere? I mean where he can hit a button and somebody comes right away?


Thanks again!!

Joe

No one coming into his room for 6-8 hours a day means he's at risk for bedsores. He -must- be moved more often than that. Tell the facility that the "goal" can be every 2 hours, but he -must- be attended to no less often than every 3 hours. And that's just to make sure his body and legs are moved, and to see to his bladder needs if he needs it. A 5-minute "check-in" every 3 hours can make the difference between inconvenience and medical requirement.

[Fastskiguy]

Originally Posted by PugMom

yes, Joe, it can be done, but is remarkably expensive. i kept my husband @ home for the majority of his illness- i didnt trust anyone to do the job so i did it myself. you will need to go beyond caregiving as the needs rise, & you will need to hire a specially trained dementia nurse. the one i chose was 28$ an hour, and when things got REALLY tough, i had 1 during the day & another one overnite. this is an ugly disease, i feel for you. if you choose to go the route of facilities, you MUST go in unannounced to see how thing are when they know family isn't there. @ the very end, Mark went to a short visit @ HarborChase over on Powell. i took him out in about 10 days, lol. when i went in, he was uncared for, no shower or clean clothes, food all over the floor & a soiled bed. (i got him showered & dressed myself.) when i spoke to the gal in charge, she told me he needed XTRA care & that i'd need to hire a caregiver (???) to spend the day with him. it was insane! i led him to the car & brought him back home. they may have changed names, but is still the same cast of characters. if you need names & numbers, pm- me here. God Bless, Joe & many huggz sent ur way, oxo

So was this dementia nurse service available locally here in TV or was that elsewhere in the country? Was it thru a service or did you hire the person privately? We're not entirely opposed to hiring extra help for him while in memory care. I mean...it seems ridiculous, right? But it might be worth it.

Just today he called us because he was "stuck between his wheelchair and the bed" and "didn't feel like sitting there for the next 6 hours waiting for somebody to check on him" (he actually said that!) It turned out to be more "couldn't get his legs onto the bed", kinda 1/2 in and 1/2 out of the bed...but still. We called the front desk and they had somebody in there within a couple of minutes (we're loving the camera). If he hadn't had his phone in his pocket he'd just have been waiting for who knows how long. I'm not exactly upset at the care, I think they are doing what they do and everybody is friendly at least. It's just that we think we need more. And not just a little bit more!

Joe

[PugMom]

sorry being late to get back to you. i'm going to send some info to your inbox.