Need advice

Closed Thread
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 03-28-2023, 08:12 PM
rexxfan rexxfan is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 393
Thanks: 2
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default Need advice

My neighbor has grown increasingly confused and forgetful over the past year or two and has somehow become convinced that he owns my house. He is constantly wandering around my property, ringing the doorbell, entering my lanai and once actually managed to get into my house while I was away. I think he somehow got through the lock on my sliding door. He is a former LEO so probably knows how to do that. I've since put lock bars in the tracks of the sliders and while I am less worried about him getting in again I'm still a bit nervous about the situation. I can't see this ending well.

My question is what advice would you put forth to help me deal with this? I don't know anything about his medical situation but it seems to me that he maybe has some form of dementia and I have no experience dealing with that. I don't want to do anything that will make things worse but clearly this can't go on and I am going to have to do something. Help?
  #2  
Old 03-28-2023, 08:41 PM
villagetinker's Avatar
villagetinker villagetinker is offline
Sage
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Village of Pinellas
Posts: 10,934
Thanks: 3
Thanked 7,988 Times in 2,901 Posts
Default

Do you know if he lives alone, or anybody in his family that can be contacted, if not then a call to elder care would be appropriate. This sounds like a situation that could get very bad very quickly. The county mental health personnel should be able to give you a hand getting to the correct agency.
__________________
Pennsylvania, for 60+ years, most recently, Allentown, now TV.
  #3  
Old 03-28-2023, 08:57 PM
Garywt Garywt is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,014
Thanks: 4
Thanked 2,006 Times in 722 Posts
Default

I would second elder care if he lives alone or there is no family to contact. If someone doesn’t look in on him things will get worse.
  #4  
Old 03-28-2023, 09:04 PM
Cupcake57 Cupcake57 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 240
Thanks: 187
Thanked 320 Times in 128 Posts
Default

Call the police. If he is a retired LEO he undoubtedly owns a gun and you can't know what will set him off. Not your problem to fix his problem; the police will figure out what services he needs. The time for being 'neighborly' has passed when he trespassed into your home.
  #5  
Old 03-28-2023, 10:43 PM
Pairadocs Pairadocs is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Here, there, a lot of time in the Caribbean and keys, not much time spent in cold climates
Posts: 2,318
Thanks: 1,777
Thanked 2,075 Times in 892 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by villagetinker View Post
Do you know if he lives alone, or anybody in his family that can be contacted, if not then a call to elder care would be appropriate. This sounds like a situation that could get very bad very quickly. The county mental health personnel should be able to give you a hand getting to the correct agency.
Good advice ! While I have had experience with Elder Care organization, they do not have legal powers, so one has to be aware of that when contacting them. In this situation it seems the number one priority is to somehow find out the next of kin. In some instances that might not be an easy task either. Even though he entered the home of a neighbor illegally, still, most of us would hate to involve the police. However, involving police may be the only path to having next of kin contacted. I agree, this is DEFINITELY NOT going get "better" !
  #6  
Old 03-29-2023, 01:59 AM
Two Bills Two Bills is offline
Sage
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 6,342
Thanks: 1,812
Thanked 8,103 Times in 2,840 Posts
Default

Police. Then it is official, and noted.
  #7  
Old 03-29-2023, 03:53 AM
BillY41 BillY41 is offline
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Posts: 80
Thanks: 341
Thanked 119 Times in 43 Posts
Default

There are two groups of retired police officers that may be able to help. 1. The Villages 10-13 Club 2. A local FOP = Fraternal Order of Police. Sorry I don't have contact info but will try to get it. Possibly google can come up with contact info. Good luck with this.
  #8  
Old 03-29-2023, 05:26 AM
ThirdOfFive ThirdOfFive is offline
Sage
Join Date: Jun 2021
Posts: 3,448
Thanks: 759
Thanked 5,479 Times in 1,854 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rexxfan View Post
My neighbor has grown increasingly confused and forgetful over the past year or two and has somehow become convinced that he owns my house. He is constantly wandering around my property, ringing the doorbell, entering my lanai and once actually managed to get into my house while I was away. I think he somehow got through the lock on my sliding door. He is a former LEO so probably knows how to do that. I've since put lock bars in the tracks of the sliders and while I am less worried about him getting in again I'm still a bit nervous about the situation. I can't see this ending well.

My question is what advice would you put forth to help me deal with this? I don't know anything about his medical situation but it seems to me that he maybe has some form of dementia and I have no experience dealing with that. I don't want to do anything that will make things worse but clearly this can't go on and I am going to have to do something. Help?
Call the County Sheriff. This is a vulnerable adult issue and they will know how to deal with it, get in contact with adult protective services, etc. This guy needs intervention.

Aside from that, as other posters have indicated, you could be in very real danger. I’d waste no time in reporting it.
  #9  
Old 03-29-2023, 10:57 AM
Caymus Caymus is offline
Gold member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 1,199
Thanks: 22
Thanked 1,097 Times in 531 Posts
Default

Does he live with someone that you can talk to? Does he still drive?
  #10  
Old 03-29-2023, 01:30 PM
Battlebasset Battlebasset is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 471
Thanks: 191
Thanked 612 Times in 224 Posts
Default

Please report this to the authorities ASAP. Your life/health, as well as his, could be in danger. I know you are worried about what might happen to him, but it won't be any worse than what could happen to both of you if you do nothing. Godspeed.
  #11  
Old 03-29-2023, 01:34 PM
retiredguy123 retiredguy123 is offline
Sage
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 16,900
Thanks: 2,932
Thanked 16,100 Times in 6,325 Posts
Default

Suppose he is in your house and he thinks it is his house. You come in and he shoots you.
  #12  
Old 03-29-2023, 08:35 PM
rexxfan rexxfan is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 393
Thanks: 2
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Thanks for all the advice. He does have family locally but they seem to be having limited success keeping him off my property. I am away on an extended vacation halfway around the world so it's hard to deal with any of this at the moment but I will be following up on all the advice when I get back in May.
  #13  
Old 03-30-2023, 05:48 AM
La lamy's Avatar
La lamy La lamy is offline
Soaring Eagle member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Posts: 2,034
Thanks: 506
Thanked 2,414 Times in 996 Posts
Default

How about security cameras? I think you need to be able to check what's happening in and around your home, and have a recordings of it. Good luck and enjoy the rest of your vacation.
  #14  
Old 03-30-2023, 06:01 AM
NoMo50 NoMo50 is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 829
Thanks: 27
Thanked 1,214 Times in 494 Posts
Default

The police/sheriff are exactly who you should call. Calling a retired LEO club, or an FOP lodge will get no traction...they would undoubtedly tell you to call the police. Law enforcement has direct access to all of the services that can be brought to bear in situations like this. Plus, they have the legal authority to take direct action if need be, such as an involuntary commitment. Calling the police for help is not being mean or uncaring...in fact, you would be doing your neighbor and yourself a service.
  #15  
Old 03-30-2023, 06:22 AM
Sandy and Ed Sandy and Ed is offline
Veteran member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Pennecamp
Posts: 874
Thanks: 396
Thanked 750 Times in 372 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cupcake57 View Post
Call the police. If he is a retired LEO he undoubtedly owns a gun and you can't know what will set him off. Not your problem to fix his problem; the police will figure out what services he needs. The time for being 'neighborly' has passed when he trespassed into your home.
Thoroughly agree!! I feel sorry for his mental condition but am more concerned about your physical safety
Closed Thread

Tags
situation, house, advice, put, lock


You are viewing a new design of the TOTV site. Click here to revert to the old version.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:33 PM.