[WingedFoot78]

Lots of good advise given here. Don't waste any time in taking some action. This could get nasty.

[Sandy and Ed]

Originally Posted by rexxfan

Thanks for all the advice. He does have family locally but they seem to be having limited success keeping him off my property. I am away on an extended vacation halfway around the world so it's hard to deal with any of this at the moment but I will be following up on all the advice when I get back in May.

Ask for community watch to check on the house, ask a neighbor, install cameras, by all means notify the police when you are gone, etc

[Debra.t.robinson]

Are any of your neighbors friends? I know that many of my neighbors have shared emergency contact information with close neighbors. My parents also had this information on their refrigerator.

Does this behavior get worse in the late afternoon? Sundowners is a very real issue for people with forms of dementia.

I would recommend checking with your other neighbors and or paying your neighbor a visit to see if he has a DNR or emergency information. You may also consider requesting emergency medical services as opposed to the police if he is confused, but not combative. Hopefully they will be able to notify his family.

[tombpot]

Call adult protective services they will investigate and contact the family

[SallyB]

Originally Posted by rexxfan

My neighbor has grown increasingly confused and forgetful over the past year or two and has somehow become convinced that he owns my house. He is constantly wandering around my property, ringing the doorbell, entering my lanai and once actually managed to get into my house while I was away. I think he somehow got through the lock on my sliding door. He is a former LEO so probably knows how to do that. I've since put lock bars in the tracks of the sliders and while I am less worried about him getting in again I'm still a bit nervous about the situation. I can't see this ending well.

My question is what advice would you put forth to help me deal with this? I don't know anything about his medical situation but it seems to me that he maybe has some form of dementia and I have no experience dealing with that. I don't want to do anything that will make things worse but clearly this can't go on and I am going to have to do something. Help?

Call both family and the police and see if you can have them all meet together.

[billethkid]

Are you not concerned what could happen while you are away?
After the events described it should be the top priority. You, or someone else in your home could wind up in a very dangerous position.....a currently known situation!!

____________________________________________

[Ptmckiou]

His dementia classifies him as a “wanderer”. There will come a point where he doesn’t know how to get back to his own house, if he already mistaken your house as his. He also could try to boil water in a plastic container at this point. If the kin don’t have power of attorney over him, not even the police can force him into memory-care home. The state will have to get involved. Best to notify the police to be on record and their suggestions and contacts, along with the county elder care to help. Unfortunately, it’s the kin that should be doing this, and not you. However, if they won’t then it’s up to you.

[airstreamingypsy]

Yikes, you could come home and he could think you are a trespasser and kill you.

[MrFlorida]

If he got in your house, you should have notified the sheriff's office immediately. Then you would have a record of his doings.

[macawlaw]

You need to call Adult Protective Services with the local Department of Human Services.

They can investigate. If they find that the case has merit, they will file in the local court. If they prove their case to a judge, then next steps will be determined as are appropriate.
Here is the contact info directly from the state website for Job and Family Services.


Adult Protective Services
Florida law requires the reporting of known or suspected abuse, neglect, abandonment, exploitation, or self-neglect of vulnerable adults (elderly or disabled). The Florida Abuse Hotline accepts reports 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. If you suspect or know of a vulnerable adult in immediate danger, call 911.
How to Report
Abuse Hotline

1-800-962-2873

[PugMom]

Originally Posted by ThirdOfFive

Call the County Sheriff. This is a vulnerable adult issue and they will know how to deal with it, get in contact with adult protective services, etc. This guy needs intervention.

Aside from that, as other posters have indicated, you could be in very real danger. I’d waste no time in reporting it.

you are SO very correct. i've had to use emergency services re: this issue with my husband, he was doing the same thing with the neighbors' home. thankfully, the cool neighbor was understanding & helpful, & would either spend time with him or walk him back home.. the problem was hubby began to learn how to unlock doors & locks i had put in to keep him safe. when i did need to call for help, the police did a WONDERFUL job: i swear they must take psyche courses. they calmed the situation just by their presence alone, talked him down & were able to get hubby in the ambulance to be checked out. God bless them, they were my angels that day, while i went shopping for newer locks, lol.
to get to the point_ they make all different kinds of locks, even a sliding dead bolt for lanai doors. the lock blends in with the color of the door, & is difficult to see or find unless you're looking for it. it can be placed anywhere you think will be tough to find, above or below existing locks. (the guys @ Ace hardware can help you find the right selections for your home.) when people start to wander, things can go bad VERY easily, & proper home security is a must.
***keep in mind that locks can produce a certain type of behavior: it can frustrate or upset the person who still believes they can manage their own lives, & possibly cause aggression. be prepared to distract & get their minds on happier topics of conversation.

[FredTheHead]

All very good suggestions. I feel the best advise was for you was to put up security cameras. You need documentation that he goes on your property. Add in an alarm that sounds for a short time when he goes on your property. That might train him to stay away from that area. Also lock gates. Continue to work to get him help but a person losing their ability to know right from wrong is not to be trusted to make good decisions. Please be careful.

[kendi]

Originally Posted by Pairadocs

Good advice ! While I have had experience with Elder Care organization, they do not have legal powers, so one has to be aware of that when contacting them. In this situation it seems the number one priority is to somehow find out the next of kin. In some instances that might not be an easy task either. Even though he entered the home of a neighbor illegally, still, most of us would hate to involve the police. However, involving police may be the only path to having next of kin contacted. I agree, this is DEFINITELY NOT going get "better" !

Don’t understand why you would hate to call the police. They are trained to help people in these situations and can be very compassionate.

[Rodneysblue]

Originally Posted by rexxfan

Thanks for all the advice. He does have family locally but they seem to be having limited success keeping him off my property. I am away on an extended vacation halfway around the world so it's hard to deal with any of this at the moment but I will be following up on all the advice when I get back in May.

Why wait, things could escalate and maybe even endanger one of your neighbors.

[Lea N]

Originally Posted by rexxfan

My neighbor has grown increasingly confused and forgetful over the past year or two and has somehow become convinced that he owns my house. He is constantly wandering around my property, ringing the doorbell, entering my lanai and once actually managed to get into my house while I was away. I think he somehow got through the lock on my sliding door. He is a former LEO so probably knows how to do that. I've since put lock bars in the tracks of the sliders and while I am less worried about him getting in again I'm still a bit nervous about the situation. I can't see this ending well.

My question is what advice would you put forth to help me deal with this? I don't know anything about his medical situation but it seems to me that he maybe has some form of dementia and I have no experience dealing with that. I don't want to do anything that will make things worse but clearly this can't go on and I am going to have to do something. Help?

Try giving the Alzheimer's Association a call. I've been away from my involvement with them (volunteered a long time ago), but they used to have trained professionals available to answer questions and guide people living with dementia. Their phone number is 1 (800) 272-3900.