[graciegirl]

There is a dear good person who used to post on this forum a lot and has struggled with serious weight issues. I want him to know that many see the real person and the funny quick person and the caring heart and good citizen that he is.


I understand all of the ways that he has tried to recover his health and want him to know that we care about him and pray for him and hope he knows he matters to us.


It is very easy to dismiss and judge others, but serious weight issues are very involved and difficult.


Gastric by-pass is only for those healthy enough to withstand the operation and the side effects.


I will say one more time. I don't care if you are gay or straight, young or old, funny or serious, well educated or not, rich or poor, fat or thin, religious or not, If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you.


As we get older we keep learning that a board always has two sides.

You are a good person, Westcoast.

[vette]

Originally Posted by westcoast

I have a friend who is obese and has very bad eating habits. I feel
he is killing himself. So many health issues because of it. I am asking
what might be available in this area for someone in this condition.
Something more than a weight loss program would be needed.

Any suggestions would be welcome.

I truly commend you for your concerns about your friends health/weight issue. HOWEVER, until your friend makes up his/her mind to do something about it, there's not much you can do. . . Be supportive, not an enabler. Try to avoid making food/eating part of your routine with him/her. Instead of going out for diner suggest a movie, a game, a walk. While it's ok to express your concerns DON'T be a nag. Often that is counterproductive.

Unless you're a skinny minny ;-). Ask if your friend would join you going to check out a weight loss club. Say u are concerned about YOUR weight. There are several here in TV.

Obesity is a serious health issue but as others here have posted it usually has little to do with self control and just overeating.

[Abby10]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

There is a dear good person who used to post on this forum a lot and has struggled with serious weight issues. I want him to know that many see the real person and the funny quick person and the caring heart and good citizen that he is.


I understand all of the ways that he has tried to recover his health and want him to know that we care about him and pray for him and hope he knows he matters to us.


It is very easy to dismiss and judge others, but serious weight issues are very involved and difficult.


Gastric by-pass is only for those healthy enough to withstand the operation and the side effects.


I will say one more time. I don't care if you are gay or straight, young or old, funny or serious, well educated or not, rich or poor, fat or thin, religious or not, If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you.


As we get older we keep learning that a board always has two sides.

You are a good person, Westcoast.

What you say is so true, Gracie. I feel the empathy and compassion in your post. It is people like you and westcoast who make the world a better place. No one knows the pain and struggle some people go through with weight issues and that goes for those who struggle to keep weight on their bodies as well. I have had a couple of people in my lifetime as well who were seriously overweight. Both of them were 2 of the smartest and kindest people I have ever known. One, unfortunately died a premature death due to complications as a result of her obesity. The other, who at one point was bedridden because of it, is determined not to let that happen to her and has lost a massive amount of weight through gastric bypass and the support of a 12 step program. People who struggle with this have enough problems without having to deal with the judgment of others. Love your philosophy highlighted above and worth repeating.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by Abby10

People who struggle with this have enough problems without having to deal with the judgment of others.

So true in many aspects of life. "Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins".

[queasy27]

I was with a friend recently at a fast food restaurant and she made a joking remark about an overweight woman at the next table not needing to be here. Why? She was eating the same thing my friend was -- a burger and fries. I don't know the woman's life or struggles and can't find it in my heart to begrudge her a meal. It's so easy to gain weight as we age and even 2 pounds a year over a couple of decades adds up.

Forty years later, I still remember a homily by a priest in the Newman center when I was in college. He was discussing kindness and I was idly nodding my head in agreement until he got to the part where he said we need to take the more difficult path and extend kindness, not only to our friends and family, but to people we don't like. Aw, man! But I don't like those people.