[robertj1954]

I have to agree with your wife. Eating out with friends is a social event and how great to be with friends having a nice dinner out. It is no big deal to share an appetizer for the opportunity to enjoy some laughs and good times with friends. In my mind it is a small price to pay for something far more rewarding. Just saying…

[Bryant]

If there were 4 people, I would probably share. Any more than that...no way. By the time it would get back to me, I'd be lucky to get a 2nd piece.

[jtdraig]

LOL...if everyone indicated that they did not wish to order an appetizer and you do, you get to eat what you ordered. It is good to remember that everyone had the option BEFORE you ordered, so if they want to grab some, they should order their own. Reminds of the time we were with friends in Montreal and had a fantastic dinner. No one but my wife was interested in dessert so she ordered creme brulee. When it came, everyone tried to grab a bite and she woulldn't let them near it. Turned out to be so funny that everyone else ordered a creme brulee. AND, outside of ONE place in Paris, there has never been a better creme brulee than Montreal.

[rubicon]

I enjoy sharing a meal with people. So we have people over often and put on a nice meal. However, to have someone wave off an appetizer and then dig in when it arrives just doesn't sit well with me. I would rather pay for others appetizers than to have to go through with that nonsense. I mean is it any different than if you ordered a meal and somone said, gosh I should have ordered that too. Does that mean I am obligated to give them a taste.

there may be one exception to this and that is if everyone agress to share the check in equal amounts.. Moral of the story...if you dine with rubicon better order your own bang bang shrimp

[tpop1]

Originally Posted by rubicon

I enjoy sharing a meal with people. So we have people over often and put on a nice meal. However, to have someone wave off an appetizer and then dig in when it arrives just doesn't sit well with me. I would rather pay for others appetizers than to have to go through with that nonsense. I mean is it any different than if you ordered a meal and somone said, gosh I should have ordered that too. Does that mean I am obligated to give them a taste.

there may be one exception to this and that is if everyone agress to share the check in equal amounts.. Moral of the story...if you dine with rubicon better order your own bang bang shrimp

I might be tempted to reply with a quote from that famous TV character, Joey Tribbianni, who said, ......
"Joey doesn't share FOOD!!!"
_

[billmar]

wouldn't feel comfortable eating another couples appetizer after declining to order one myself. Don't think you have an obligation to offer others your appetizer, and don't think people expect you too, either. What bothers me though is when two couples go out and each orders an appetizer, but they both get put on your bill. The other couple doesn't say anything or maybe just doesn't notice it. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to say anything
I would, but hubby not so much, he's nicer.

[Tweety Bird]

Originally Posted by Shimpy

Next time order a cup of clam chowder.

and, could we have 7 other spoons?

[Tweety Bird]

We dined at Bonefish with 8 of us for a birthday celebration. My husband and I orderd two spendy bottles of wine to share with the table. They were mostly busy with the hard stuff. My husband and I ordered a huge plate of mussels. We did not offer to "share" until I was well-satisfied and doled out a few at the end of my gastronomic appetizer consumption time. I don't feel compelled to share unless others have appetizers as well and we do a few swaps. I always offer the warm bread with the olive oil dip. Don't get FULL on MY appetizer!!!!

[nonseniorresident]

I get her perspective because it's awkward to be eating alone before everyone. It is a nice gesture to order a couple apps and share but if everyone states they aren't interested in an appetizer I would just tough it out and wait to eat until the entrees arrive. It's still rude for people to help themselves after they declined. Even if you politely offer some once it arrives, they said no and should stick with their decision. Now if you are with those people that want to chat with drinks for 10 minutes before they order, mention how you want to get something in your stomach right away and will later order entrees when they are ready. Then feel free to dig in solo!

[BostonUnit]

The situation you described can be attributed mostly to the Bang Bang Shrimp. It is a great dish. And it appears sufficient for sharing. The problem is, it is a great dish, and you know it, and you want it all for yourself. See?
If you ordered a salad appetizer or worse, the edamame dish, no one would have taken you up on your offer.

So you need to lay the law down, "I'm gonna have a Bang Bang. See? I love the Bang Bang. That's why I picked this restaurant. See? So if you want a delicious mouthwatering appetizer, I suggest you order one too. See?
Because I want every one of my Bang Bangs. So don't say I didn't warn you. Any question?"

And then when the waitress comes you reiterate, that you want one, and you invite the waitress to vouch for you how damn good the Bang Bang dish is, and she will, and she can then either take the orders for a others, or she can serve as your witness that you did all you could to convince others that they would be missing out.

Conversely, you could just take the high road, and order two. One for yourself, and one for the table.

PS- I think they are offered at half price on Wed evening.

[Hummintwo]

IMO, I would ask the group, "would anyone else besides me like to share an order (name of appetizer) and expense"? If no interest is expressed then don't share the appetizer. If there is interest, determine how many orders are needed and divide the cost. Something else to consider is whether you all receive one check and divide the cost among you or each couple pays their own bill. I don't see anything wrong with making your thoughts known upfront. After the fact is not only awkward but may create unnecessary problems.

[Ritabob]

I agree with the husband. Unless everyone at the table is going to chip in and help pay for the appetizer, the person who ordered it should eat it. If there is more than they want, then it can be shared.

[gomoho]

wow - what an interesting post. so many ideas, but still the situation will exist the next time any of us go out. I have to agree - if you said you didn't want an appetizer than the considerate person that offers to share should be respected and you should decline the offer. But then how many are considerate??? My mama taught me right!!!

[gomoho]

and another thing - is it reasonable to expect the person that wants an appetizer to pick up the tab for the extras some suggested he order? maybe he can't afford it.

[lizbell]

Originally Posted by Talk Host

I would like some opinions on an argu.. ah discussion that my wife and I are having. Let's see if I can explain this.

In a restaurant for dinner. There are two, three or four couples. As the pre-order discussion is had, it's said by someone (let's say me) "is anybody going to order an appetizer." Then all in attendance say "no."

Then I say, (example at BoneFish Grill) "I am going to have an order of the Bang Bang Shrimp" (which I love. That's the only thing there I really like)

Then, MY appetizer arrives, my wife thinks it's proper to share it around the table. I say it isn't.

Recently, six people, I was the only one to order a calamari appetizer. When it came, it got shared around the table, and by the time it got back to me, there were two little pieces left.

My position is that if they want something, they should order it. My wife's position is "what are you going to do, sit there and eat it in front of everybody without offering it?"

JLK

I'm with you on that !