[Hyacinth Bucket]

COUCH POTATO DAYS - I AM SOLD ON THIS

I wanted to see how it would be to be a couch potato on a cruise ship—that is, to be idle and have no plan, stay in the room and have room service as I watch the ocean roll by or see what is playing on one of the numerous television channels. Or finally read some of the wonderful mysteries I haven’t made time for.

One plan – When I got tired of lying in bed I could stroll to the elevator and go to the 9th floor and sit or lie down in one of the soft comfy chairs in the sun or take one with a delicious mattress and pillow in the shade. No, I didn’t forget to take my blankets if I felt chilly. If I needed more blankets there are also deck hands to get me more. This is the life. Hungry while I was out here on the deck, I was only yards away from beverages and food. I don’t want to exert myself too much. I could choose to either bring the food to where I was lounging or eat at a table outside on the deck.

Then I noticed people enjoying the Jacuzzi; it didn’t look like it would take too much energy to saunter over and go in. Ahhhh, the good life, temperature is perfect, love the bubbles, and there came the attendant bringing fresh towels as I gotready to leave this idyllic spot.

Yes, I could be a true couch potato here, get fresh air when the mood strikes, enjoy the comforts of my room with room service, and can either read, watch television, look at the ocean or my favorite sport – napping or day dreaming. Best of all I did not have to do anything, everything is done for me. The life of a king or queen on a cruise ship for the couch potato is just perfect. I could do this for more than two days, I realized.

January 14 was our first of three days when we would be cruising and not stopping at a port. Today we used for catching up on sleep, reading, washing and drying clothing, and speaking with the head of Shore Excursions.

We discuss the expectations of cruisers and the reality of sightseeing in a third-world country. The buses are not the same as the ones used in Europe, United Kingdom, or U.S. Cruisers who decide to participate in a tour in any of the ports we are visiting are informed prior to signing up for an excursion that the conditions they are used to may not be the same here. There are not the same facilities available.

Busses may not have air conditioning and bathrooms. Roads may be rough and quite bumpy. There is also a statement with some of the tours that if you have back problems, problems walking over uneven surfaces, problems with balance, do not take this tour. Even though guests are informed of the above, their expectations do not conform to the nature of the tour. Then there is no guarantee we will be able to dock in all ports due to weather conditions. It appears as if our fellow passengers are more accepting of this possibility.

Two of my colleagues using the gym and while exercising they were rewarded with seeing two pods of whales fairly close to the ship. During dinner we asked to sit next to a window; I stared out of the window and did not see one whale. Oh well. One of the crew drew a picture of a whale for me. When we saw the whale we all had a good laugh and put the picture in the center of the table for all to see.

That night we had dinner in the main dining room. We discuss the various desserts we have tasted and attempt to find the best adjectives to describe them. We find we are at a loss for words; they have all been delicious, creamy, smooth, and perfect, and the list goes on. We are thinking of having a meal of just desserts. Have tried the sugar-free ones also, and the same adjectives apply to them. Then we discuss the presentation of the desserts and are sorry we did not think of taking pictures of them.

January 15th, we rise early so as to see the glaciers that we will be cruising by and we will be cruising through fjords that we will be passing on our way to Punta Arenas. It is overcast today and at times it is raining, though at times we were able to see thm. Glad we went to Parque Nacional Laguna San Rafael and saw the San Rafael glacier. If I want to see the fjords, I will have to take another cruise. I found today to be quite frustrating as I was looking forward to sailing through the fjords and glaciers.

January 16th is another day at sea. The weather was the same as the day before. Sometimes it cleared and the fjords were visible through a mist. Caught up on reading, writing this log (of which I was a few days behind at that point), and meet fellow travelers. Then there is always one of the mysteries to read that I brought along. I could sometimes spend hours just reading. Here I will tell you about one of our fellow cruisers. Must admit it was hard just to focus on just one. . . .

We especially enjoyed the companionship of one of our fellow passengers who would entertain us with his interpretation of different events onboard the ship and his reminiscences of his life growing up in the Bronx. For all the people who had lived in the Bronx 10 to 20 years after he did, they listened with rapt attention. Those of us who did not live in the Bronx were equally intrigued with this terrific raconteur. He made history come alive, whether it was local, national, or international. He personalized all of the events that affected his life and how he had changed as a result of them. He spoke with a passion of one who had lived through that era; his voice was animated and his facial and hand expressions only made the stories he related come more alive. It got so I wished I had lived in the Bronx.

He and his wife had gone to the wine tasting lecture and demonstration. He felt the best part of this lecture was the cheese they served between tasting the various wine. He is seven and a half decades young and he reports he has never heard so many words describe a glass of wine that he did not like. It sounded like the Greek gods were describing the taste and aroma of the wine and all of its sultry qualities. He reported that Rembrandt would have been impressed with the adjectives used to describe both the clarity and colors. He then gave us his impression of what his fellow wine tasters looked like as they tasted all the different wines. At times, I must admit, he wasn’t too kind, but he was certainly funny!

We were looking forward to his report on the champagne tasting that he and his wife were to attend two days later. She had warned him not to make any negative or other comments during either tasting, to keep his thoughts and opinions to himself; he is leaving the cruise with a very happy wife. He reported that he was not a connoisseur of any sorts. There are certain foods he likes, though, and those he is able to discuss with love in his heart—or is it from his stomach?

His wife said that the first time she went out with him, she knew instantly the way to his heart was through his palate and definitely not through his love of fine wines and champagnes. After the champagne tasting we met him once again. His first sentence was, “Can’t tell the difference between some of the champagnes and seven up soda!”; some reminded him of Perrier with gas. I do not think that any more needs to be said. . . .

He told us he only went to these events because his wife said he had to and that he would never tell his wife what he told us. As he spoke of his wife it reminded me of the Rumpole series on BBC—in this series Rumpole refers to his wife as “she who must be obeyed.”