[Pairadocs]

Originally Posted by CoachKandSportsguy

I agree, and my theory is that it takes time to move away from career as a validation once one is retired, as career validation has been a force during employment for 40 + years. For some people its hard to transition to an equal retiree, sometimes for me as well, but its slowly getting easier as I get closer to never working again. . .

future former finance guy

Agree ! It's really interesting to me to observe. One facet appears to just have more to do with time and the flexibility to develop a whole range of new interests, skill, and hobbies. But there seems to be a group of people where it runs deeper than that... I've seen it at various groups I belong to that do volunteer charity work. Individuals who seem almost driven to announce who they "were" once, and make it known they should head the effort (so to speak). Personally, that's fine with me, I REALLY enjoy the freedom from decision making and responsibilities...LOL... but I totally understand that many feel a sense of loss, or an emptiness, or even that their status/worth is somehow diminished. The best part is, if an individual has that need, there are several thousand opportunities in our community to be fulfilled .

[Velvet]

I think it’s ok to be proud of who you were. They have to have worked very hard to get there and there is nothing wrong with a bit of reflected glory. The problem might arise if, therefore, one thinks they are “better” than others.

[Boomer]

Originally Posted by Robbb

As a new resident of the Villages I stopped by the Arnold Palmer course this afternoon to check it out and see if they had a driving range. When I went into the clubhouse, to ask about a driving range, I was met by a (seemingly demented) old lady who gleefully went rambling on and on about how I could not golf there because I was not "dressed correctly". She never really explained what the dress requirement was, (I was dressed in nice shorts with a sports shirt on), she just kept mumbling something about a dress code. I walked out just as she was starting to say "you really should not be here"

Management, I am a retired senior executive of a fortune 200 company, I have played some of the most exclusive courses on the planet, I am VERY familiar and ACCEPTING of dress codes, however I have NEVER hear of a dress code for a golf shop or driving range. And I have NEVER heard an employee, demented or not, say "you really should not be here. I find this comment reprehensible, demeaning, and potentially racist. In our era of heightened awareness of inclusion, do you really want employees standing in your golf shop determining who "should and should not be there". I encourage you to train your employees on the proper presentation and explanation of any dress code you enact, in addition I encourage you to enforce that code consistently and without exception. It did not go unnoticed that many others in the shop, restaurant, and driving range, were dressed much more casually than I, but none of them seem to have drawn the wrath of your demented clerk.

..

Aw c'mon, seems to me like there is more to this......

It does not even take reading between the lines to see ageism with an icing of misogyny in this one.

Just how loud and obnoxious did the "victim" get before hearing a woman (gasp) say, "You really should not be here"? Hmmmmm, perhaps this woman knew that golf has a history of being known as a gentleman's game. (What did the "victim" say or do before hearing that comment.)

'Demented' is a loaded word being used as a pejorative. So wrong on so many levels.

This complaint is showing more than it is telling. And that old saying about the ratio of hat to cattle comes to mind.

Boomer

[Jayhawk]

Originally Posted by WingedFoot78

Four pages of this junk. Don't you people have anything better to do?

Don't you?

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by Pairadocs

Agree ! It's really interesting to me to observe. One facet appears to just have more to do with time and the flexibility to develop a whole range of new interests, skill, and hobbies. But there seems to be a group of people where it runs deeper than that... I've seen it at various groups I belong to that do volunteer charity work. Individuals who seem almost driven to announce who they "were" once, and make it known they should head the effort (so to speak). Personally, that's fine with me, I REALLY enjoy the freedom from decision making and responsibilities...LOL... but I totally understand that many feel a sense of loss, or an emptiness, or even that their status/worth is somehow diminished. The best part is, if an individual has that need, there are several thousand opportunities in our community to be fulfilled .

Some people have large egos and they need to get those egos fed a lot and OFTEN. They are begging for a "pat on the back". Some residents are SIMPLY lonely. But, I would disagree with the concept of LARGE personality changes AFTER retirement. I believe that psychologists say that people's basic personalities are largely FIXED at a young age. Probably, by 2nd grade. If people are very outgoing then they will LIKELY stay that way when retired. If people are more introspective, it is likely that they will stay that way in RETIREMENT.

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by BrianL99

Some folks just revel in playing the "victim".

Yes and also in larger contexts.

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by Pairadocs

It is entertaining to read some of these posts. But I am serious when I say that I have a "theory", based on this and other comments, where people seem to feel their opinions are not worth much unless they bolster them in that way. In other words, I worked for .... or I've played not only Pebble Beach, but ....., etc. My theory (and remember a "theory"is a thought, not fact) is many retired people may begin to feel less important for some reason, and they begin to show signs of establishing their worth/value to others in unusual ways ? As I said, just a theory based on observation.

It could just be insecurity that motivates people to brag about themselves. I think that some CEOs are insecure people - Jack Welsh, the long-time ago CEO of GE comes to mind. Insecurity and the need for approval can DRIVE people to top positions in corporations.
........People just say .........some CEOs are DRIVEN.

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by CoachKandSportsguy

I agree, and my theory is that it takes time to move away from career as a validation once one is retired, as career validation has been a force during employment for 40 + years. For some people its hard to transition to an equal retiree, sometimes for me as well, but its slowly getting easier as I get closer to never working again. . .

future former finance guy

The retirees that I know do NOT seem to BE or even think of themselves as EQUALS. They often seem like a bag full of cats fighting in different directions to get out.

[TSO/ISPF]

Originally Posted by jimjamuser

The retirees that I know do NOT seem to BE or even think of themselves as EQUALS. They often seem like a bag full of cats fighting in different directions to get out.

I think posters have wondered off the original topic. Dress codes in the early 20th century were somewhat different from today and perhaps dress codes on the villages golf courses will change one day to. Look at dress codes in the office in the eighties versus nineties. Things change.

[BrianL99]

Originally Posted by TSO/ISPF

I think posters have wondered off the original topic. Dress codes in the early 20th century were somewhat different from today and perhaps dress codes on the villages golf courses will change one day to. Look at dress codes in the office in the eighties versus nineties. Things change.

You don't think "traditions" should be maintained and women should still dress for the golf course, as they did when we were kids?

[Velvet]

Originally Posted by TSO/ISPF

I think posters have wondered off the original topic. Dress codes in the early 20th century were somewhat different from today and perhaps dress codes on the villages golf courses will change one day to. Look at dress codes in the office in the eighties versus nineties. Things change.

Nah, they didn’t wander off topic. They just weren’t led by the nose.

[shut the front door]

Originally Posted by Velvet

I think it’s ok to be proud of who you were. They have to have worked very hard to get there and there is nothing wrong with a bit of reflected glory. The problem might arise if, therefore, one thinks they are “better” than others.

We have no idea how hard anyone worked before reaching retirement. Their are plenty of people who did not earn what they got.

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by BrianL99

You don't think "traditions" should be maintained and women should still dress for the golf course, as they did when we were kids?

A couple of foxie-loxies on the ends.

[jimjamuser]

Originally Posted by shut the front door

We have no idea how hard anyone worked before reaching retirement. Their are plenty of people who did not earn what they got.

A perfect example is Jack Welsh who fiddled ( at 350 K per year) while GE burned! And meanwhile many people thought he was the 2nd coming.

[VApeople]

Originally Posted by jimjamuser

A couple of foxie-loxies on the ends.

And in the middle we have Babe Zaharias and Patty Berg, who I knew when I was young and living in Fort Myers.