[fdpaq0580]

Originally Posted by Keefelane66

Sorry for you missing out on the joy.

No, you're not. Not really.

[fdpaq0580]

Originally Posted by rustyp

Don't listen. Very curious as to what else you would propose as a reasonable solution to "your problem"? Hypothetically how would one handle a spouse with dementia where you hear the same story 62 times per day ?

Apples and oranges. One you don't care much about. The other you, hopefully, love (or loves you).

[rustyp]

Originally Posted by fdpaq0580

Apples and oranges. One you don't care much about. The other you, hopefully, love (or loves you).

I equate the entire conversation to bananas, I stand by an earlier post I made - there is more than meets the eye here. The OP has started this thread 6 times before. I wish the best to all they find peace and happiness in this holiday season and the winter of their lives.

[Escape Artist]

Originally Posted by AbbyPye

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

This is akin to a previous generation constantly showing photos/Polaroids of their grandkids or better yet home movies on the old Super 8! There have been many sitcoms from yesteryear about this topic, which is boring the pants off of people you don’t know that well with tales of your family members.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Originally Posted by Keefelane66

Sorry for you missing out on the joy.

People have their own "joy." I'm not missing any of yours.

[OrangeBlossomBaby]

Originally Posted by rustyp

Don't listen. Very curious as to what else you would propose as a reasonable solution to "your problem"? Hypothetically how would one handle a spouse with dementia where you hear the same story 62 times per day ?

That has nothing to do with the topic.

How would you handle me telling you all about the color, size, shape, and consistency of my cat's poops in her litter box? It's probably not something you really care to hear about. So why should I have to hear about the size, color, shape, and consistency of your newborn granddaughter's first dirty diaper?

Answer: I shouldn't. But for some reason, grandparents tend to think these kinds of things are just adorable and MUST tell all their friends all about it.

[dhdallas]

Originally Posted by AbbyPye

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

It may be that your upbringing was not the same as these family centered people's experiences and that can make it annoying to hear their latest family news. A secret envy of another's closeness with their family may also factor into it. And if a person is childless, it can hurt to hear stories of another's joy they experience having children and grandchildren.
Family oriented people have the utmost respect and unconditional love for their families, and it shows. This is one of those signs you can't deny when you find yourself in the presence of a family oriented individual.
When one of the family members accomplishes something (no matter how big or small), they'll be glowing with pride (like that achievement is yours) and love to share their joy & excitement. These families thrive on emotional connection and understanding. They’re fully engaged with their children and grandchildren and are there for the small moments. Children know they can count on a parent or grandparent to notice the little wins, like learning to ride a bicycle or tying shoelaces correctly.
Distance can be hard when family members are separated due to their occupation, retirement, etc. Talking to others about their children or grandchildren's latest achievements or antics help miss them a little bit less. Now with technology advances, families can have video chats as often as they like.
So, that is my take on those who are proud of their family and want to share. If you want any of these people for friends just grin & bear it & try to see it from their point.

[Happydaz]

Originally Posted by fdpaq0580

No, you're not. Not really.

Your opinion. My opinion and feelings are that having my large family is the most joyful thing in my life. I love seeing my children raising their offspring and the grandchildren are an absolute joy to be around. But again that is my opinion. You are entitled to your opinion as nurturing a large family is not for everyone. I can see that incessantly talking about what interests me can be very boring to others and to be a good conversationalist I try to talk about what interests others. I look to find common interests and not launch into a monologue.

[PrettyPatti]

[QUOTE=golfing eagles;2284200]This a post that I will just have to bite my tongue and ignore.[/QUOMerry ChriTE]

[DonnaNi4os]

Originally Posted by fdpaq0580

To mention your kids/grandchildren in passing is one thing. To talk about them endlessly is like listening to someone talk about their money. It gets old real fast. Particularly to those of us who have no children for whatever reason. Imagine that all your your kids were in Heaven, then listening to someone bragging on their kids might even be painful. I'm happy for you, but don't rub it in.

I have a grandchild in Heaven. I understand from your message that your children have passed. My deepest sympathies to you. It isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

[lpkruege1]

Originally Posted by AbbyPye

Since my partner Pat and I settled within The Villages, we have been embracing what this community has to offer from its activities to the people that live here. And although we are ever so pleased to mingle with others that we meet day in and day out, we noticed a common thread when others speak to us that still remains since we first came out here some two year before.

When we meet others that are coupled, many (not all) of these married folks tend to tell us (whenever we ask about or not with the emphasis on the latter) about their adult kids with a deep notion about their grandkids! They mention what their kids and their partners/spouses are involved with, and give that heavy emphasis on their grandkids, either with them having them visit from up north/back east, or heading up north/back east to visit them.

When we first mentioned this issue in this forum some time ago, we thought that hearing about their antics would eventually come to pass. What occurred was the total opposite, especially when a major holiday is coming in the near future! Although we do respect that these couples are indeed proud of these grandkids that are part of their life as well as keeping the family legacy alive and well, this notion of hearing this unsolicited news is getting rather long in the tooth!

Has anyone ever experienced a situation that was explained within this post? That is, does anyone encounter those that are coupled up that constantly dote on their grandkids, even though they may reside a long distance away?

Please let me know so I won’t think that I am just dreaming up this scenario!

Many thanks!

You should be happy they're telling you about their grandchildren. It probably means they like and trust you. People talk about things they love and what brings happiness to their hearts. Unhappy people have a hard time understanding that. They'd rather talk about their misery, they want to share what makes them unhappy, after all, misery makes them happy. So be thankful they aren't sharing the story about their Grandchildren stories over hemorrhoids., gout, hernia, or STD. Be happy for them and with them.

[DianeP]

We personally have 2 grandchildren ages 3 & 5 who we adore and love wholeheartedly , however they never usually come up in conversation when out with friends.

Do my friends know they exist, yes from pictures on our walls 💕

[DianeP]

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby

That has nothing to do with the topic.

How would you handle me telling you all about the color, size, shape, and consistency of my cat's poops in her litter box? It's probably not something you really care to hear about. So why should I have to hear about the size, color, shape, and consistency of your newborn granddaughter's first dirty diaper?

Answer: I shouldn't. But for some reason, grandparents tend to think these kinds of things are just adorable and MUST tell all their friends all about it.

Wow if that’s the conversations you are always having with friends you need to find some new ones. I have 2 small grandkids and never have brought up diaper **** with any of them. Are you sure it’s their grandkids diapers they are talking about 🧐

[PJfromCincy]

Old people talk about the grandkids and their medical issues. Get over it! It's a RETIREMENT community!

[kyralud]

I completely agree with Two Bills… I totally would rather hear about and see pictures of grandchildren than discuss medical ailments, politics, poor golf cart drivers, barking dogs, bad neighbors and other issues that seem to occupy some Villagers time.
The future is in these children and they need all the love and support from family and strangers that they can get. If you don’t want to hear about children , walk away. I feel sad that this is a complaint you have. Grandparents should be an integral part of a child’s life if at all possible. Everyone benefits. Plus grandparents that are part of their grandchildren’s lives live a happier and longer life.
Show me all the pictures of your sweet grandkids you want. I’d love to hear about them!