[OldDave]

When I started reading and posting on TOTV again before the holidays, I was immediately reminded of why I stopped. While 95% of the folks here and kind, funny and occassionally really entertaining, it seems you couldn't make it through any thread without: "if you don't like it, don't live here," or "don't ever say anything negative".

Shortly after that things seemed to get dramatically better especially I noticed almost no personal attacks. It was mentioned there were new administrators and they were working hard to bring civility to the site, and were tossing out truly rude people. Doing such things as stopping the politics area because peope just couldn't seem to discuss differences without becoming hateful. (Now if we could only get the actual politicians to do that.)

Well I don't know if the Christmas spirit has worn off or what, but the last few days we seem to be at it again. The Brownwood thread has been the worst, although I just saw one about the country clubs not taking reservations that was getting pretty bad.

To me this is a site that encourages the exchange of ideas. People need to be able to express their ideas, sometimes negative. We're all entitled to our concerns and opinions. And many times people are just asking if others have experienced the same issues, i.e., Brownwood. But it seems very quickly one or two people jump on them and tell them they shouldn't ever be negative and just grateful to be here. Or worse the old, "we don't want you here if there is anything you don't like, go back where you came from."

You know it in no way hurts you to have someone dislike something you like. Their opinion is just as valid as yours or mine. To borrow the same attitude, if someone posts something you don't agree with, you could just take your opinion and go home, and resist posting at all on that thread. Honestly there is nothing in TV that reallys needs to be defended. It pretty much speaks for itself, and rather well, I think.


I just don't get it. I greatly enjoy this forum. For those of us wantabes and I think for others, it is great to be able to plan and think about tomorrow, without being jumped on by others that, for reasons I just cannot understand, are so terribly defensive.

Folks take a lead from our queen of the forum, Gracie. Learn to disagree without being rude or defensive. She stands by her guns, but she does it with charm and grace. (She how I worked Grace into that.)

I want to feel welcome even if I have the need to express a concern. Let's all play nice together.

Thanks,

Dave

[njbchbum]

intolerant of intolerance?

[skyguy79]

I'm confused! Should we be intolerant of the intolerant and criticize them as they criticize others? Although I fundamentally agree with the OP's message, I guess I just don't understand why this is being done here or what good it would do. Perhaps, as hard as it may be, the best way of not encouraging intolerant behavior is to simply and completely ignore it in the first place, something I admittedly have an occasional problem with myself at times, but unfortunately at the same time there are occasions when something must be stated, or else it says that poor behavior is tolerated and the intolerant are emboldened to continue with the negative bahavior!

[notlongnow]

I want to feel welcome even if I have the need to express a concern. Let's all play nice together.

I agree with everything except the political forum statement. I was on that forum, you had to subscribe to it and if you did not like it you could unsubscribe and never see it again.
I never understood why people would subscribe to it, get offended, come back to it and then gripe about it. To me it seemed like they deserved it if they would come back time and time again instead of walking away.
Other than that I love this forum. I am a Wantabe or as coined by some one else on here, a gonnabe I live through this forum and will visit in April and counting the days.
I really doubt someone would decide one living here or not on this forum, or at least I hope not.
EB

[rubicon]

Old Dave: It is a sign of the adverse affect political correctness has had on our society. We have lost our ability to have meanignful discussion. I have read at least three articles by educators in the WSJ explaining that students in universities that challenge the liberal philospohy quickly learn to get back in the liberal line or face some serious consequences,or are mocked, intimidated etc.

I just read in paper this AM where Judges are stepping in to quell the lack of civility displayed by attorneys in the court room.

As a manager I was shocked to find in the 1990's that I had actually had to have a number of meetings to teach my young employees how to play nice.

This forum is a reflection of our society. Television is not hrlping with its reality shows displaying people behaving badly.

I do agree with your general assessment. However, I do miss the political forum but understand why it was closed.

Finally as I hav referenced in other threads we do have a political correct squad living here in TV land. I have always been puzzled as to why they believed it was their personal mission to defend TV and the Developer as oth entities can speak for themselves?

I opine others can decide

[LndLocked]

IMO .... a large part of it on TOTV (and msg brds in general) is the anonymity of the internet combined with the difficulty to convey nuance. People will say things "here" that they would never say face to face. It is also easy to misunderstand someone's meaning and perhaps respond stronger than normal.

I have also been amazed at how much some take ownership is stuff they like and get personally offended if someone expresses a negative opinion of whatever it is. Most stuff posted is just someones opinion and that is pretty much all it is worth .... including what I just posted. ;-)

[perrjojo]

I guess my feeling about this is that we have so much to be grateful for and it bothers me to see people complaining that a cyclist slowed them down, the dance floor is too small, the wait at resturaunts is too long, the grocery store is to crowded, etc, etc, etc. There are REAL problems out there in our world. Is your glass half full or is your glass half empty? For me, my glass is "plenty". If we attacked all problems with the zeal that is often shown on TOTV, what a wonderful world it would be. Complain or act to make a difference. It's your choice.

[rubicon]

Originally Posted by perrjojo

I guess my feeling about this is that we have so much to be grateful for and it bothers me to see people complaining that a cyclist slowed them down, the dance floor is too small, the wait at resturaunts is too long, the grocery store is to crowded, etc, etc, etc. There are REAL problems out there in our world. Is your glass half full or is your glass half empty? For me, my glass is "plenty". If we attacked all problems with the zeal that is often shown on TOTV, what a wonderful world it would be. Complain or act to make a difference. It's your choice.

Let see how this suggestion works Last month Comcast told me I saved $11+. This month comcast raised my bill by ovër $30 and told me they saved me better than $31.00 a) I should make a difference b) complain.

I went to XYZ restaurant. The wait was 1.5 hours, the food cold the service non-existent a) I should make a difffence b) complain.

[TOTV Team]

Our position is to never direct your comments at the user but focus on the topic. That resolves many issues. We also have the 'report a post' feature where you can click the red triangle and the post will be sent to a group of behind the scenes people to review and address as needed.

[jrandall]

Well communicated ny Dave! It's the Golden Rule and enables all to express ideas and concerns without fear of ridicule.

[notlongnow]

Our position is to never direct your comments at the user but focus on the topic. That resolves many issues. We also have the 'report a post' feature where you can click the red triangle and the post will be sent to a group of behind the scenes people to review and address as needed.
Reply With Quote

When put like this I can see how you removed the political forum because politics are personal even if you are trying to stay on topic. Still a shame that it is gone. It was your game so you get to make the rules.
Other than that, nice forum.

[USSGompers]

My 2 cents:

An example-
"I have a sofa bed for sale"
Replies- "I don't need anymore furniture" or "I hate sofa beds"

Folks, please just let the person try and sell the item. They probably get excited to think there was a reply to the ad and then read that!!!

Example # 2: "I ate at ABC restaurant and had a cold meal with roaches and hairs in it"
Replies- "I adore that place and always love that dish" or "I hate to eat out"!

I love to read the 'Food Critics" in the newspaper so I can see another side of the coin.

I get annoyed at the people that respond to threads that have nothing to do with them. It seems that there may be a bunch of people that just love to talk to people.

I do too, but I find a thread that deals with that.

Just sayin'. I certainly don't mean to offend anyone.

[mmatcg]

Originally Posted by Admin

Our position is to never direct your comments at the user but focus on the topic. That resolves many issues. We also have the 'report a post' feature where you can click the red triangle and the post will be sent to a group of behind the scenes people to review and address as needed.

Constructive comments or advices target at actual problem rather than a person would bring benefits to all.

Originally Posted by perrjojo

I guess my feeling about this is that we have so much to be grateful for and it bothers me to see people complaining that a cyclist slowed them down, the dance floor is too small, the wait at resturaunts is too long, the grocery store is to crowded, etc, etc, etc. There are REAL problems out there in our world. Is your glass half full or is your glass half empty? For me, my glass is "plenty". If we attacked all problems with the zeal that is often shown on TOTV, what a wonderful world it would be. Complain or act to make a difference. It's your choice.

Well, sometime people are just making observation, and merely pointing out the problem. People may sound whining and complaining over some "minor issues", but some people do expect a meaningful discussion that will bring a possible and preferably pleasant solution to their concern.

I agree with you that we should be grateful with so much life has to offer, we don't have to agree with other people's "complaints", or even be tolerant with other people's "negative comments", but we have be considerate of other people's will to express their concern.

Just my 2 cents.

[archerlc]

OldDave,
I agree with you.
The other day i read a post about solar tubes and was amazed that it was so positive and everyone liked the company that installed them. I almost made a post about how positive it was.
First, some people find it is their responsibility to preach. They have no intention of answering the question asked. "Where can I find discount cigarettes?" I knew that person would get lambasted. I don't smoke, don't know where to get discount cigarettes, so I did not post a reply.
Second, I love the "ignore" feature. People who always preach or go negative immediately can be "ignored" forever. I have 5 on the list and it cuts some negative people out and lowers my blood pressure.
I sometimes look at the first post of a thread and try to guess how long before it goes negative-meaning a personal attack on the poster. I understand different points of view but not personal attacks.
Folks, I love The Villages, this will be my 4th year as a renter and bicycle rider-the source of many of your problems. Peace to all.

[bonrich]

Have to throw in my three cents. We have a home in Sanibel, and at this time we are up North and only 3 weeks away from coming down for our extended stay. But during the cold time, we live through this forum. We have learned and taken away so much, services, destinations, problem solving, experiences, a huge diversity of talents available just for the asking, and so quickly they are shared. Negativity, yes, and sometimes I can almost predict who will challenge a post, but that is what a forum is. Vent if you want, keep it civil, so any response can be in the same tone.
In the end we depend on one another to keep this forum alive and healthy and fun to check in and see how our Home is growing and changing through so many different eyes.

BOOYAH!!!