[Tweety Bird]

I have offended when I didn't mean to offend. However, if I am aware of someone being offended, I simply stop the perceived offense. We all know phrases and words that trigger an emotion to a memory. Even naming a child can evoke a reaction when a name is chosen and the name reminds us of some idiot you knew that had that name. This has really been an interesting thread of human emotion and reactions. I feel for you Redwitch and am very saddened for your terrible memories of the Guyana tragedy.

[Pturner]

It pains me to be viewed as unkind and unthoughtful for using an expression that I dearly love, on an discussion board of 13,000 people, knowing that a few people take offense.

But maybe it does make me unkind and unthoughtful. A lot of people I respect think so. I'll concede the point and use it no more.

[K9-Lovers]

Originally Posted by bkcunningham1

I like to look up words in an etymology dictionary. You can find a few online.

Also, K9-Lovers, I'd like to say that I know you were well intentioned with your diplomatic approach with offering other ways to say something Red finds offensive. There's always many different ways to see things.

In one sense, it's good that people who don't understand what you were attempting to say/do are bold enough to say they don't want to just blindly follow and obey. That is really what happend that started the "phrase" being used in the first place.

Blind obedience isn't good. People should question and make up their own minds based on their own beliefs. Said with much kindness and hoping you understand. Your friend, bk

BK, thanks for your kind words and for being my friend. I appreciate that and the feeling is reciprocated. Because I don't take things personally on this forum, I don't expect that my feelings will ever be hurt by anything said to or about me. 'Cause nobody knows the real me on TOTV! And, I agree with your explanation about not following blindly.

Okay now, everyone get in line single file and follow me . . .

[Larryandlinda]

anyone know how to 'erase' the offending forum subject line?

That phrase has become so 'household' it's going to be around long after we are gone.

According to this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_the_Kool-Aid

at the site of that horrific tragedy, they used a cheaper brand anyway.

too bad
it's going to be tough to find an alternative that implies what that one did

L & L

[aljetmet]

Originally Posted by Pturner

It pains me to be viewed as unkind and unthoughtful for using an expression that I dearly love, on an discussion board of 13,000 people, knowing that a few people take offense.

But maybe it does make me unkind and unthoughtful. A lot of people I respect think so. I'll concede the point and use it no more.

I have found this thread fascinating. Quite frankly reading threads over the last few months did not refresh my memory and thought the reference to Kool Aid was just an inside joke among the TOTVers.
So I guess my NYC education was not a big help. I am embarrassed at myself.
I wasn't interested in googling or searching older threads to find out what it was all about.
Redwich came through loud and clear.
It's my judgement and opinion that a good percentage of the people that used the phrase really didn't know what it meant. I hope so. I am not judging anyone. Maybe I am just naive. I hope not. I could understand those who are offended. We should use this forum more for which it was intended.

[Irish Rover]

I am offended by taxes, people who complain about being offended by everyday language, and drivers who stay in the passing lane doing 20 miles below the speed limit. Just thought I would throw that in. This site has gotten so personal. It was and still is a great information source for new and old TV'ers but is quickly becoming a soap box for some.
No offense, I'm just sayimg...........

[getdul981]

I'm probably going to offend a bunch of people here, but I didn't read the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People". Too many people are offended by too many things any more. Lets eliminate the "N" word, the Holacaust didn't happen, Kool-Aid should be banned, and eliminate any reference to slavery from all our history books. Just get rid of anything that offends anyone and pretend it didn't happen. That will make it go away. While we're at it, just go ahead and remove "In God We Trust" from all our currency, because it might offend someone. OH, yeah, 9-11 was all smoke and mirrors too.

TOTV is very tame with respect to people intentionally trying to hurt other posters' feelings. Bullying has abounded in some of the blogs, message boards, or other discourses on the Web I have been on since around 1998.

I can understand where Redwitch and others are coming from having had a then English teacher's daughter (Michelle Mitchell) murdered on my birthday of February 24 in 1976. This was part--it turned out three years later-- of a conspiracy to collect on an insurance policy on a casino employee Peggy Davis by covering up her earlier (@ Feb 21, 1976) murder by making it look like a serial killer was stalking Reno, Nevada.

The whole high school body was traumatized by this murder as the police dug for a suspect among the student body among other places and as well as just the shock of it.

I have often had trouble with birthdays since learning that Michelle Mitchell had been murdered on my birthday of February 24, 1976.

The law school/library manager at the U of MN (Suzanne Thorpe) over me in 1991 had suggested that I get mental health counseling at the U of MN just because I wanted to be honest about how much of an affect this murder and its aftermath had on me while I was looking for a job in some library other than hers despite the fact that I had gotten through law school even if I had struggled with it a great deal, worked in a law library, as well as represented various prisoners in two of Minnesota's prisons.

I remember going on message boards of a legal nature and pretty much being shredded by other posters for years when I tried to talk about the law, victims' rights, access to legal information, abuse of the mental health system, and other related matters.

[K9-Lovers]

We never read a TOTV mission statement explaining that this site is intended to be purely an information source about TV.

This forum serves many purposes. It appears that divulging personal experiences unrelated to TV is one of them. Another purpose is reading opinions that differ from yours and learning from someone else's point of view.

[Pturner]

Originally Posted by aljetmet

It's my judgement and opinion that a good percentage of the people that used the phrase really didn't know what it meant.

I think it's more that it never meant the same thing to those of us who used it. Wikipedia's claim of it's origin not withstanding, the phrase existed before the infamous incident with which many now associate it. I'm disappointed that so charming and inimitable a phrase was co-opted by the forces of darkness. I've used it often, so I guess it's no secret that I'd like to re-claim it's inner whimsy, but not at the expense of being hurtful to people I love and admire.

If others still use it as we fans of the phrase intended though, I believe they mean no harm; and I cannot see it as wrong.

[Pturner]

Originally Posted by K9-Lovers

We never read a TOTV mission statement explaining that this site is intended to be purely an information source about TV.

This forum serves many purposes. It appears that divulging personal experiences unrelated to TV is one of them. Another purpose is reading opinions that differ from yours and learning from someone else's point of view.

[Pats2010]

Originally Posted by getdul981

I'm probably going to offend a bunch of people here, but I didn't read the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People". Too many people are offended by too many things any more. Lets eliminate the "N" word, the Holacaust didn't happen, Kool-Aid should be banned, and eliminate any reference to slavery from all our history books. Just get rid of anything that offends anyone and pretend it didn't happen. That will make it go away. While we're at it, just go ahead and remove "In God We Trust" from all our currency, because it might offend someone. OH, yeah, 9-11 was all smoke and mirrors too.

They are attempting to do just that!

[K9-Lovers]

Originally Posted by Pats2010

They are attempting to do just that!

Some people like turmoil.

[ssmith]

don't pretend it didn't happen... just don't rub salt in a wound esp when someone let you know they are cut and bleeding.

I would never joke about the holocaust to a Jew or use derogatory words to a black person. To Red, she has a very real association with the term due to personal experience.

I don't have such an experience as she has but can understand her objection to it. Believe me, I can sure let my mouth get me into trouble due to thoughtless things I have said.

I do enjoy hearing how every one responds though.

[Pats2010]

Originally Posted by K9-Lovers

Some people like turmoil.

Explain yourself. They are really trying to eliminate it. The ACLU is hard at work.