[Just Susan]

Hi nanci,
Do you remember that book I believe it was in the 70's called "Passages". It was about all the various phases we go through as we age.

I feel that this whole retirement thing is a passage don't you? Each decade we have lived, has had things, attitudes and actions that were imperative to that age. As we edge toward retirement the passage seems scarier than some of the others have been.

Moving to TV requires enormous down sizing of possessions, if for no other reason than to not have to move it. We leave behind our families, kids & grandchildren, our old friends who love us no matter what and our careers. We must adjust to a new environment, new friends, new places to buy what we are used to buying, but the new place doesn't carry it, a retirement income, maybe only one car...everything that identifies us outwardly as us, we leave behind. It is frightening.

I don't think you are a diva, I think you are just trying to work through these fears.

[jjdees]

Nanci, Very very well described.

[nanci2539]

Susan, thank you so much. After I left TOTV last night, I was kicking myself. After I reread my post, I could see why people would think "who does she think she is".

It's a mixture of leaving what I consider my dream home that we bought ten yeas ago. Homes in the midwest are a fraction of what it would cost in Boston (where I'm from originally). So, when we had this home built, it was a dream for me. Coming from humble roots, I never thought at age 50 I would have such an elegant home. It's as simple as that. Now toss in the fact that my son and daughter with their families live within a mile of me; it just adds to the fear and that's a good description; it's fear. I don't think it's the materialistic part of it as much as the emotional part. Sure I hate giving up my stuff and downsizing but it has to be done.

My TV rep told me a story about a couple who put a downpayment on a home, etc. A week before the closing, the guy called saying his wife was having a melt down and couldn't leave the kids; she was upset, her family was upset, her grandchildren were crying and depressed. This man was going to lose his downpayment and 20%. Not a good enough reason to get his money back. The next day he called back and said they were coming. My immediate thought was of relief in feeling that I'm not a misfit and others feel the strong pull I'm feeling.

While my family is supported, I know they are not excited about us moving away. So, toss that into the mix, it does become a struggle. I talked to so many grandparents in TV and they all say the same thing "wait until the kids come to visit". Does that help? In many ways it does but I just have to get to that part.

The big pull for me to move is my husband. He's tired of working; he's tired of maintaining a big home and we're both tired of the weather -- we have a nice little ice storm yesterday which means my husband is stuck in NY! He had to travel there on business this weekend.

Anyway, I'm going on and on but I want you to know Susan that I reapply appreciate your insight and wise words.

I'll make it and when you move to TV; I'll buy you a cup of coffee at Starbucks!

Oh, and I didn't read the book but I will look for it!

[English Ivy]

Nanci ... I certainly did not think of you as a "diva" and as I said at the end of my post to please not take my comments the wrong way. You're just having a real struggle in wanting to come live The Villages lifestyle but having to give up certain things to do so.

On our first visit to TV we approached many people on the Squares to ask if they lived in TV and how they liked it. Everyone we approached raved about it except for one couple. They had just moved here a couple months before and realized they had made a big mistake. They were very upset because it wasn't the way they were used to living. I just want to make sure you'll be one of the majority who love living here rather than the minority who don't like it when they get here.

I've lived in a patio villa and ranch home model so I don't know much about the designer models but if there's anything I can do to help you or answer any questions feel free to PM me. I want you as a neighbor but want you to be a happy neighbor!

[Just Susan]

Nanci,
We are going to be great friends I just know it.
We have toooo many similarities not to be. We moved from the Bay Area (SF, CA) to MN. the rest is the same story as yours down to where you said "Anyway, I go on and on...", which I do also.
I'd love to meet you at Starbucks, you have their coffee I'll have tea...never did learn that coffee thing. Meanwhile we can test the waters of this friendship in this forum...which I love, and with email notes if you would like. It might help us both to know we have a friend already in TV.
Susan

[Villages Kahuna]

Nancy,

I know you've commented several times on the issue of the "stick out" refrigerator. But as I read thru the responses below, a couple caught my eye. Susan Toms hit the nail on the head with her recommendation of the Passages book. I think what she might be saying is that people really do move to TV for the life style and find the necessity of leaving some things and people behind are well worth it.

On the practical issue of a refrigerator only as deep as the countertops. We also had one of those "kitchen designer" kitchens up north. One part was a built-in Sub Zero refrigerator. What a piece of crapola! In the ten or so years it as there we spent more than $7,000 repairing the $5,000 refrigerator. When the last recommended repair came about--another $2,000 for new compressors--I had the thing removed to the trash.

My wife and I worried about finding a replacement for the space in the kitchen that wasn't made by Sub Zero, who seemed to dominate the "built-in" segment of the market. We were pleased to find that there are several GE Monogram models (the top of GE's line) that will fit right in the space where the Sub Zero sat, rolling in on wheels and producing a "look" with the front flush with the front of the counters. Take a look at Abt Appliance in Glenview to see them, or look at the Abt website. You'll still have to deal with the unfinished sides of the refrigerator, but we didn't find that at all expensive. And of course, the shallower flush fit models don't hold as much as the "stick out" models, but I'm sure you knew that.

The GE Monogram models aren't quite as expensive as the crappy Sub Zeros, but after having ours for a while both my wife and I concluded that it was a far better refrigerator.

As far as Italians and cooking are concerned, you're going to be surprised at how often "our people" eat out in TV.

[nanci2539]

[quote=Villages Kahuna ]
On the practical issue of a refrigerator only as deep as the countertops. We also had one of those "kitchen designer" kitchens up north. One part was a built-in Sub Zero refrigerator. What a piece of crapola!

My son told me early on not to get a sub zero! We went with the GE Monogram and it's held up pretty good for the past ten years. So GE has my vote.

All I can say folks is thank you for your insight, suggestions and patience! We've been to TV three times already and it's where we want to be. I'll get past all the other stuff I'm sure and maybe we can all sit back with a drink and laugh about this!

Susan, I'm more a tea drinker than coffee drinker but I must have that first cup of DD coffee in the AM! I make it at home but it never tastes the same!

Paul, Italians cook but drink wine too so I hope to one day meet you and Barb. By the way folks, we went by Paul's home (Village Kahuna) during our last visit. He's done a beautiful job with the outsdie landscaping and his lanai and pool is really nice. I don't know about the eating out part - the last thing I want to do is gain weight!

And English Ivy, no offense taken at all. I just don't want to come across as a person who cares more about stuff than people.

Okay folks, let's call it a day on this topic and again., thanks for all your insight and suggestions.

[chelsea24]

Just wanted to say Hi Nanc, we've just moved here from Bloomingdale, IL. I notice you're in Naperville. We've only been here a month but visited twice before buying. Anyway, we love it here and just wanted to say

Hope to meet you.

[nanci2539]

Hi Chelsea - nice to meet you too. We're originally from Boston and have lived in Naperville now for 11 years. Our home is on the market (just recently) so we sit and wait!

Nice to hear that you love TV.

[lm01]

Hi - You can always buy a counter top depth refrig. You tend to loose inside space and the refrig will cost more but the look is very custom.

[mybestfriend]

Refrigerators stick out from the cabinets so the doors can open-especially if they have deep doors. Because of the position of the hinge they need some side clearance to open completely. You can buy a "built-in look" refrigerator which will fill your 36" wide space--but it's only 20" deep, about 20-22 cubic feet. And they cost a lot more for what you get.

[ilovetv]

Newbies and wannabees should be aware: This thread is seven years old. Things have changed and bugs have been worked out of home designs, I'm sure. TV would not have grown the way it has if there were continuing dissatisfaction with the homes.

Apart from that, "Don't sweat the small stuff". Try something new and enjoy life outdoors year-round in the sunshine, before cancer, stroke or death prevent you and your mate from doing so. Every year we meet recently widowed men and women who tell how they worked and saved for decades and when they finally came here to their dream house, one of them got cancer and died within the first year, with their mate practically living in the hospital watching the spouse die over months.

Live your life while you have it!