Civility on this forum?

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Old 05-06-2013, 08:17 AM
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Default Civility on this forum?

I love this site. It's fun, interesting, thought-provoking, educational, humorous, witty, intelligent (well, maybe not always), and entertaining for many of us. We can get on here and tell each other all sorts of things, and give our opinion of whatever we think. Most posters are respectful of others, state their opinion and defend it without attacking the opposition, discuss things with taste and thoughtfulness. It's a great thing.

However, there are also those posts which make one cringe. A disagreement that becomes angry, a little too much passion attached to a differing point of view, fueled by the anonymity afforded by sites like this one. In these cases, I often wonder how that same exchange would happen if it were done under our real names, face-to-face, fully public, in front of family and friends. How would one 'post' if the grandkids were watching?

Civility is important everywhere. I don't mind some pepper on the ball as long as it isn't thrown to hurt someone. Let's keep this site a 'safe zone', where we can state our opinions and have some fun.

I guess I'm having a bit of a soapbox moment, but I couldn't help myself. Please forgive.
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post
I love this site. It's fun, interesting, thought-provoking, educational, humorous, witty, intelligent (well, maybe not always), and entertaining for many of us. We can get on here and tell each other all sorts of things, and give our opinion of whatever we think. Most posters are respectful of others, state their opinion and defend it without attacking the opposition, discuss things with taste and thoughtfulness. It's a great thing.

However, there are also those posts which make one cringe. A disagreement that becomes angry, a little too much passion attached to a differing point of view, fueled by the anonymity afforded by sites like this one. In these cases, I often wonder how that same exchange would happen if it were done under our real names, face-to-face, fully public, in front of family and friends. How would one 'post' if the grandkids were watching?

Civility is important everywhere. I don't mind some pepper on the ball as long as it isn't thrown to hurt someone. Let's keep this site a 'safe zone', where we can state our opinions and have some fun.

I guess I'm having a bit of a soapbox moment, but I couldn't help myself. Please forgive.
ok, i forgive you.
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:36 AM
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I have always wondered why people open a thread just to reply and complain about the subject of the thread? If ignored, the thread would simply fall off the front page!
If it says "dog poop", "saving seats at the squares", "I hate the developer"...or any other topic that you don't like, why open it?
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:40 AM
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I totally agree. It's easy to be confrontational when you're sitting safely at your computer.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:23 AM
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myself I find it difficult to have a thread focused on the one or two percent (I think that is high by the way) that skid side ways.

My suggestion is to focus on the roaring success that TOTV is in satisfying and complimenting the other 98-99% of us.

In any group or population trying to get 100% participation is mathematically and practically impossible.

The best way to handle the one or two percent is to ignore them....do not open their threads or read their posts and use the ignore capability of the TOTV web site.

btk....for the 99% who do it right.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post
I love this site. It's fun, interesting, thought-provoking, educational, humorous, witty, intelligent (well, maybe not always), and entertaining for many of us. We can get on here and tell each other all sorts of things, and give our opinion of whatever we think. Most posters are respectful of others, state their opinion and defend it without attacking the opposition, discuss things with taste and thoughtfulness. It's a great thing.

However, there are also those posts which make one cringe. A disagreement that becomes angry, a little too much passion attached to a differing point of view, fueled by the anonymity afforded by sites like this one. In these cases, I often wonder how that same exchange would happen if it were done under our real names, face-to-face, fully public, in front of family and friends. How would one 'post' if the grandkids were watching?

Civility is important everywhere. I don't mind some pepper on the ball as long as it isn't thrown to hurt someone. Let's keep this site a 'safe zone', where we can state our opinions and have some fun.

I guess I'm having a bit of a soapbox moment, but I couldn't help myself. Please forgive.
Wise words! :-) Thanks Parker! :-)
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stuckinparadise View Post
I totally agree. It's easy to be confrontational when you're sitting safely at your computer.
Might I add, that those who may not agree with the majority or be in the right clique....have more reason to not broadcast a lot of personal info?

I have already been the target of a couple of stalkers, who have tried to glean info from disingenuous and outright sneaky and lying PM's.

I think it is preferable to have a respectful and tolerant tone, toward those with whom we disagree.

I also believe that street runs both ways and being immediately attacked after coming here...doesn't engender that tone of "civility.

Thanks to the OP for bringing it up...and I'll try to do better.

.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billethkid View Post
myself I find it difficult to have a thread focused on the one or two percent (I think that is high by the way) that skid side ways.

My suggestion is to focus on the roaring success that TOTV is in satisfying and complimenting the other 98-99% of us.

In any group or population trying to get 100% participation is mathematically and practically impossible.

The best way to handle the one or two percent is to ignore them....do not open their threads or read their posts and use the ignore capability of the TOTV web site.

btk....for the 99% who do it right.
I am in your corner. There was a recent posting on how you can set yourself up to ignore those posters that you find ingratiating:

Ignore List
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:56 AM
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Especially when the post is a grudge or complaints say about restaurants, I look at how many posts a person has made. If it is their first or the second posts, I tend to ignore them. IMHO I don't think any grudge or complaints should not be a way to initially participate on TOTV. The person may be sincere or the ulterior motive could be to smear the restaurants or companies which that person had a grudge for one reason or another. Also, I am careful with negative titles of the post. When you see negative titles, no matter how many positive comments afterwords, one gets drawn to the negative title unfortunately. Positive endorsements for contractors or services from few past posting worries me too. Reminds me sometimes of card playing people on the streets who plays customers to entice other people. Guess "readers" be aware.
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Old 05-06-2013, 10:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yorio View Post
Especially when the post is a grudge or complaints say about restaurants, I look at how many posts a person has made. If it is their first or the second posts, I tend to ignore them. IMHO I don't think any grudge or complaints should not be a way to initially participate on TOTV. The person may be sincere or the ulterior motive could be to smear the restaurants or companies which that person had a grudge for one reason or another. Also, I am careful with negative titles of the post. When you see negative titles, no matter how many positive comments afterwords, one gets drawn to the negative title unfortunately. Positive endorsements for contractors or services from few past posting worries me too. Reminds me sometimes of card playing people on the streets who plays customers to entice other people. Guess "readers" be aware.
I agree wholeheartedly with your post Yorio, and many others on this thread and I have been guilty many times of going too far. It is hard to not get angry sometimes.

Some posts push the buttons that are wired right to your hot setting.

I will try to do better too.

It is easy to be kind and tolerant of people who agree with you, but not so easy when they disagree with something close to your heart.

We still are supposed to "do unto others".
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Old 05-06-2013, 10:34 AM
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I hope people view me as being tolerant of others. I also believe sometimes a message typed out on a computer screen may not be accurately conveyed to, and received by the recipient in it's intent.
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Old 05-06-2013, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post
I love this site. It's fun, interesting, thought-provoking, educational, humorous, witty, intelligent (well, maybe not always), and entertaining for many of us. We can get on here and tell each other all sorts of things, and give our opinion of whatever we think. Most posters are respectful of others, state their opinion and defend it without attacking the opposition, discuss things with taste and thoughtfulness. It's a great thing.

However, there are also those posts which make one cringe. A disagreement that becomes angry, a little too much passion attached to a differing point of view, fueled by the anonymity afforded by sites like this one. In these cases, I often wonder how that same exchange would happen if it were done under our real names, face-to-face, fully public, in front of family and friends. How would one 'post' if the grandkids were watching?

Civility is important everywhere. I don't mind some pepper on the ball as long as it isn't thrown to hurt someone. Let's keep this site a 'safe zone', where we can state our opinions and have some fun.

I guess I'm having a bit of a soapbox moment, but I couldn't help myself. Please forgive.
Parker, thank-you so much for getting on your soap box. I love this post.

Folks, most of us that are members on this forum are neighbors or are soon-to-be neighbors. We come from all parts of the Country, we are different religions, political affiliations, married, single, divorced, and yes, now some of the next generation of Villagers have recently arrived. We came here for one reason and that is because we love TV. Lets learn from the wisdom of those that preceded us here and try to understand the World that those of us newbies have had to live in.

I too love TOTV, it has so much valuable information on it. We are a community, lets stick together and be civilized and respectful to each other.

I too will do a better job. Again, thank-you for your post.

Katie
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Old 05-06-2013, 01:23 PM
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A list:
1. Agree to disagree respectfully.
2. Life is too short to be too little.
3. I don't let anyboby rent space in my head.
4. It bothers me too much to get into it, so I don't.
5. There too many wonderful people out there I haven't met, to be bothered by the minority who like to be contrary.
6. A person convince against their will is of the same opinion still.

I tend to think how I would feel or sound to someone else before hitting the "submit button. That saves me a lot of grief.
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Old 05-06-2013, 01:46 PM
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I am shocked - just shocked that one or two folks are less than tolerant here. I guess I've been keeping my left of center mouth muffled for no good reason. Good post!
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:08 PM
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I agree very much with Gracie/Girls comment.
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