Originally Posted by Jejuca

Bosoxfan - I think I understand what you are saying. There is a difference between acquaintances and real friends. Acquaintances are people I know from around The Villages - stop and talk to or play a game with - and then we go our separate ways. Friends are the people I hang out with!
Guess you are celebrating today.

Thanks..you're right I have plenty of acquaintances but no real friends. Maybe I'm oversensitive but when I see groups of people that I golf with regularly exclude me when snowbirds return friendships I thought were developing aren't. Oh well as I said I love the life!

[DianeM]

Originally Posted by irishamr

I for one, agree with you. Have been here 5+years and have no friendship base. To me, The Villages is the most unfriendly place.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by irishamr

I for one, agree with you. Have been here 5+years and have no friendship base. To me, The Villages is the most unfriendly place.

Because The Villages is marketed at "the friendliest hometown", I think that some of us have unrealistic expectations. We hear about other people instantly fitting in, and going on cruises and out every night with their friends, and living in each other's pockets. So we are disappointed if we don't instantly make deep and lasting friendships. Some people are able to do that, but for a lot of residents, it takes time and patience. And putting themselves out there.

[murray607]

Originally Posted by Barefoot

Because The Villages is marketed at "the friendliest hometown", I think that some of us have unrealistic expectations. We hear about other people instantly fitting in, and going on cruises and out every night with their friends, and living in each other's pockets. So we are disappointed if we don't instantly make deep and lasting friendships. Some people are able to do that, but for a lot of residents, it takes time and patience. And putting themselves out there.

Sometimes we must look at ourselves.

"How to win friends and influence people" Dale Carnegie, Simon and Schuster 1936 with many re-prints............

It may not have all the answers, but it will get you thinking and put a whole new perspective on life.

Sometimes WE need to change and not expect those around us to change. If we we keep giving off the wrong signals then we need to explore what it is we are not doing right. It takes very little to turn people off and often being aware of ones behaviors and being prepared to change them is all that is needed.

At one time I was told that I was critical and I took it to heart. Then I realized, people are right, I am sometimes critical. So, I took it on myself to change. The reaction to the change was amazing. People who tended to avoid me in case I would act my usual way, all of a sudden warmed up to me (I think, or maybe they just tolerate me more) but it resulted in more friendships.

At home, I have my usual golf group they are acquaintances not friends. But we do have a small social circle which although not extensive, is enduring and sincere, these are our true friends.

My son has a good friends first name as his middle name. And their daughter has my wife's name as a middle name. We are traveling 2500 miles next summer to our friends', daughter's wedding. Even miles apart friendships have endured and I am not on Facebook!. Our friendships are unconditional.

Originally Posted by Jejuca

Bosoxfan - I think I understand what you are saying. There is a difference between acquaintances and real friends. Acquaintances are people I know from around The Villages - stop and talk to or play a game with - and then we go our separate ways. Friends are the people I hang out with!
Guess you are celebrating today.

That's what I don't have people to just hang out with. Yes celebrating the Sox

[cquick]

Originally Posted by Bosoxfan

I was wondering if there are people (like me) having problems making friends here in the villages?All I can think of is I'm relatively young(54) & recently went back to work nights...I don't know..if someone has suggestions ..I'm open...Thanks!

You sound like a lot of fun, and I think you are right about the reasons it might be a little more difficult for you. You are young (not relatively either!) and you still work. And you play sports, so you are very active....I am sure you'll make friends soon.

I have one suggestion....join a service club like the Lions or the Moose or the American Legion etc. I can't think of any others right off the top of my head. but that's a good way to make friends.

[tippyclubb]

I read your post long ago when you first posted it and it saddens me to read you still have not made friends. You seem like a wonderful person.

When we arrive in 11 months I will contact you. We will be in the same situation with no friends. Perhaps we can go out to eat and have a few beers.

My husband wants to learn to golf so maybe you can show him the ropes. I read you like to bowl and my husband is an excellent bowler so that is something you can do together.

[Jejuca]

Bosoxfan - the only other thing I can add is that I also come from the northeast. I have lived in Florida for 25 years. I have found the definition of "friend" very different in Florida than the one in New York.
But - different doesn't mean bad - just different. We are a little older than you but if you ever want to get together just let us know.