[Villager Joyce]

Originally Posted by CathyandSteveG

I guess i look at it a bit differently. My husband and i have lived in our home 24 years....we have NEVER spoken to our next door neighbors.

I am not moving to the villages to make friends...I am moving to the villages to enjoy the rest of my life with the man i love.

I am a very friendly person...and if you want to speak to me or wave to me...I will absolutley be friendly to you....but if none of you ever speak to me...oh well.

I will go to the pool with my husband...i will go out to eat with him....i will drive around and enjoy my life with him.

I quite frankly am not worried about making friends...i will be with my best friend and i cannot wait to enjoy retirement with him.

For those who have issues with younger or more beautiful ladies...trophy wives....how petty and ridiculous. I am what i am....i am not trying to impress anyone else....and if you dont like me oh well....your loss.

Life is too short to worry about crap like this....

Well, well, well. I have tried over and over to say what I want to say, but not have the post removed. Good luck with life.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

i can kind of understand not wanting to trust right off the bat, however we chose to purchase a home in the Villages in large part because we appreciate the standards, quality of life and the safe community. That is really why I named the first post mutual respect. My grandparents raised me so I have a huge amount of respect for my elders. We smile, hold doors open and obey the rules here, it would be nice if some of the less trusting Villagers could just give new people a chance. I am sure we can make friends here, already have with neighbors. I understand cliques, it's part of life, raised two sons to treat others the way they wanted to be treated, you know, the "Golden Rule". YES, there are very nice Villagers, I just did not understand the Cranks. We will try to be here for a Crispers meeting and yes we do plan on having new friends over for wine and snacks.........just as soon as the driveway and lanai has cured so we can get patio furniture out of our living room!

I have heard that some pools are very cliquish but they might warm up to you. It does not seem to have anything to do with age though just who they are familiar with in their clique.

We have been here since June 2005 or so and find most people very friendly for the most part. There are the occasional lousy drivers, seat hogs of various kinds like I had at the Old Mill Playhouse when seeing "Jurassic World" yesterday, bitter cranky people of various ages, etc.

Good luck at Crispers and the TOTV meetings. I have been to a few of these and have found the people there fun to meet. Always get a kick out of KathieI and her friends.

I am one of those problematic kids of long term Villagers myself but I do try hard to get along with people of all ages.

[Grandfinch]

I was too busy with family and especially work in my previous life to focus on friends. However, since living in The Villages, we both have made many of what I call lifelong friends. Not knowing your nieghbors in your working years is quite normal in my opinion. Here, you need to purposely avoid having friends not to have lots of them. That is perfectly OK if that is what you want, but the availability of having many friends is very good.

[Sandtrap328]

Originally Posted by Grandfinch

I was too busy with family and especially work in my previous life to focus on friends. However, since living in The Villages, we both have made many of what I call lifelong friends. Not knowing your nieghbors in your working years is quite normal in my opinion. Here, you need to purposely avoid having friends not to have lots of them. That is perfectly OK if that is what you want, but the availability of having many friends is very good.

Good post and absolutely true. It was downright amazing to see the people come by your lanai just to talk with you.

[tippyclubb]

Originally Posted by CathyandSteveG

I guess i look at it a bit differently. My husband and i have lived in our home 24 years....we have NEVER spoken to our next door neighbors.

I am not moving to the villages to make friends...I am moving to the villages to enjoy the rest of my life with the man i love.

I am a very friendly person...and if you want to speak to me or wave to me...I will absolutley be friendly to you....but if none of you ever speak to me...oh well.

I will go to the pool with my husband...i will go out to eat with him....i will drive around and enjoy my life with him.

I quite frankly am not worried about making friends...i will be with my best friend and i cannot wait to enjoy retirement with him.

For those who have issues with younger or more beautiful ladies...trophy wives....how petty and ridiculous. I am what i am....i am not trying to impress anyone else....and if you dont like me oh well....your loss.

Life is too short to worry about crap like this....

Wow, is all I can say without being rude. However, I'm sure your post offers nothing to Sassafrass question.

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725

I have heard that some pools are very cliquish but they might warm up to you. It does not seem to have anything to do with age though just who they are familiar with in their clique.

We have been here since June 2005 or so and find most people very friendly for the most part. There are the occasional lousy drivers, seat hogs of various kinds like I had at the Old Mill Playhouse when seeing "Jurassic World" yesterday, bitter cranky people of various ages, etc.

Good luck at Crispers and the TOTV meetings. I have been to a few of these and have found the people there fun to meet. Always get a kick out of KathieI and her friends.

I am one of those problematic kids of long term Villagers myself but I do try hard to get along with people of all ages.

No, you are one of the gems of long-term Villagers!

[CFrance]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

If you want friends you can find them here.

If you don't want friends, well that is hard to understand, and this isn't the best place, because people will try to befriend you.

People of all ages and all kinds of personalities live here. You get out of life what you put into it most times.

I think most people move here because it is an over 55 retirement community for active older adults. No one should be mad at us because that comprises the majority of people. If someone is fixated on youth and beauty, usually that means they are somewhat immature. People can be immature at any age. People drift toward people with like values but respecting everyone seems to be a very strong value here.

I would not move to a college town and wonder why people weren't wanting to pal around with me. I would get to know them one person at a time and soon they would find how much we have in common.

None of us have ever been this age before and we are learning as we go along.

May we all live here for a thousand years and find joy and peace and laughter.

Nail. On Head.

[CathyandSteveG]

Funny the reactions i have received from my post. Some good some disappointing.

I dont know if i worded it in incorectly and some misunderstood what i was trying to say so i will attempt to clarify.

As we approach retirement....we have looked at what is important to us...where do we want to settle...what do we want to do the rest of our lives?
The most important thing for us is of course being together. We like to drive our convertible, we like to go to the beach, we love to vacation, we enjoy fine dining and good wine.

So TV offers wonderful ammenities....good weather, close proximity to beaches, to cruise ships, to disneyworld.

Never once in our contemplating our retirement and move have we thought....where is the best place to make friends. Now for some of you....that may be your number one priority....and thats wonderful! But we are not terribly social....we are friendly, we are funloving....but making friends with others is not the top reason we have chosen TV.

This thread has covered many areas of discussion.....age discrimination, looks discrimination etc. I am not a trophy wife, I am not young. I want to be accepted for who i am. I dont look at someone and judge them based on their looks. I think tatoos were even brought into this discussion....that might offend people and thats why no one waved back.


so if my post offended you...i apologize...because that was never my intent. and for those of you who wrote to me and told me you felt the same way i do...thank you.

Someone called me a piece of work....I am not sure why but i do understand we are not all the same and not everyone clicks.

Again i am deeply and sincerely sorry if i offended anyone....I will now go silently back to my corner.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by CathyandSteveG

Funny the reactions i have received from my post. Some good some disappointing.

I dont know if i worded it in incorectly and some misunderstood what i was trying to say so i will attempt to clarify.

As we approach retirement....we have looked at what is important to us...where do we want to settle...what do we want to do the rest of our lives?
The most important thing for us is of course being together. We like to drive our convertible, we like to go to the beach, we love to vacation, we enjoy fine dining and good wine.

So TV offers wonderful ammenities....good weather, close proximity to beaches, to cruise ships, to disneyworld.

Never once in our contemplating our retirement and move have we thought....where is the best place to make friends. Now for some of you....that may be your number one priority....and thats wonderful! But we are not terribly social....we are friendly, we are funloving....but making friends with others is not the top reason we have chosen TV.

This thread has covered many areas of discussion.....age discrimination, looks discrimination etc. I am not a trophy wife, I am not young. I want to be accepted for who i am. I dont look at someone and judge them based on their looks. I think tatoos were even brought into this discussion....that might offend people and thats why no one waved back.


so if my post offended you...i apologize...because that was never my intent. and for those of you who wrote to me and told me you felt the same way i do...thank you.

Someone called me a piece of work....I am not sure why but i do understand we are not all the same and not everyone clicks.

Again i am deeply and sincerely sorry if i offended anyone....I will now go silently back to my corner.

Please don't go anywhere. Many of us have been unclear and struck someone's else's nerve. Until the future generations can allow us to have an ap for clairvoyance we are stuck with words.


For now we humans not only misunderstand but differ and expect too much of each other and don't try very hard sometimes to overlook in others what is similarly missing in ourselves.


Sermon over.


Please stay. We need you here to make us think.


And we all need others. Someday the one we cherish will leave us. Or we will leave them and they will need others to help them get through.

[Sassafrass67]

I appreciate all of the insight, we did not purchase our retirement home in The Villages just to make friends, when I did my original post I was really just wondering why there were so many grumpy people that find it hard to smile and wave especially when they live in such a beautiful community. As ironic as it sounds, yesterday morning we were packing up about to head home and were approached by several neighbors we had not had the opportunity to meet. The best way we just found out to meet people is to have your driveway surfaced! When we come back in July we are going to host a "wine" down Wednesday on the lanai. I hope everyone here lives life they way they want to and fully enjoy even the little things such as acts of kindness. We always try to pay it forward!

[looneycat]

Originally Posted by Sassafrass67

I appreciate all of the insight, we did not purchase our retirement home in The Villages just to make friends, when I did my original post I was really just wondering why there were so many grumpy people that find it hard to smile and wave especially when they live in such a beautiful community. As ironic as it sounds, yesterday morning we were packing up about to head home and were approached by several neighbors we had not had the opportunity to meet. The best way we just found out to meet people is to have your driveway surfaced! When we come back in July we are going to host a "wine" down Wednesday on the lanai. I hope everyone here lives life they way they want to and fully enjoy even the little things such as acts of kindness. We always try to pay it forward!

it seems that as we age the only thing we have, that still grows, is conservatism, don't mistake the walters as grumps but rather those who are being asked to change and fear it. once you are a 'known quantity' people will warm up. I still enjoy waving to everyone as I drive thru the most beautiful hometown in america.

[Villager Joyce]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Please don't go anywhere. Many of us have been unclear and struck someone's else's nerve. Until the future generations can allow us to have an ap for clairvoyance we are stuck with words.


For now we humans not only misunderstand but differ and expect too much of each other and don't try very hard sometimes to overlook in others what is similarly missing in ourselves.


Sermon over.


Please stay. We need you here to make us think.


And we all need others. Someday the one we cherish will leave us. Or we will leave them and they will need others to help them get through.

My comments are to cathy, not gracie.
You bragged about not EVER speaking to a neighbor of more than 20 years because you live with the love of your life. Hard to misinterpret that statement.
Cathy, I hope you read, really read, Gracie's last paragraph. Problem with a one trick pony (Steve) is when/if something happens to the pony you are alone. No friends. No neighbors who care. No one to help you get through it. As a fellow human being, I hope you get it. Alone is a big word to swallow.

[queasy27]

I understand cliques, it's part of life, raised two sons to treat others the way they wanted to be treated, you know, the "Golden Rule". YES, there are very nice Villagers, I just did not understand the Cranks.

You don't understand people not wanting to wave or smile? I grew up largely in a big city and it wasn't normal or expect to interact with strangers on the street. I'm naturally inward-focused and kind of don't notice people anyway, but I would never say hello out of the blue. It would make me uncomfortable.

Never once in our contemplating our retirement and move have we thought....where is the best place to make friends. Now for some of you....that may be your number one priority....and that's wonderful! But we are not terribly social....we are friendly, we are funloving....but making friends with others is not the top reason we have chosen TV.

I agree and share your motivation for moving here, along with siblings being here first. I only know one another person on my block and, out of choice, don't participate in any neighborhood get-togethers. I would consider it intrusive for anyone to come to my house uninvited. Despite any opinions to the contrary, I am happy and have all the social interaction I personally need.

I think most people move here because it is an over 55 retirement community for active older adults. No one should be mad at us because that comprises the majority of people.

Absolutely right, but I'd also hope that Villagers are still able to accommodate people who don't fit that norm.

[CathyandSteveG]

I was not bragging about not speaking to the neighbor on my left for the past 24 years...I was making an observation.....i was making a point...that sometimes...no matter how long you live somewhere people just do not make a connection. I made friends with the neighbors on the right...very good friends.....but the folks on the left...I do not even know their names. Now let me further explain....we live on 10 acres that is totally wooded on the perimeter...we do not even SEE our neighbors. The folks on the left....had no kids for my kids to play with...the folks on the right did.

My world has always been my family....my husband is my best friend...we have been married since we were 17 and 19....he was in the military....so our bond is very deep...all we had was each other. We lived far from family and friends.

It is a very scary thought for me to lose him....one of the reasons why our commitment in our retirement is to spend as much time together as we possibly can. Does that mean we will not be friendly to others? Does that mean we won't make friends with people? of course not! Does it mean that making friends is my number one priority? no.

I was saddened that the op felt left out....that she felt rejected. I would NEVER do that to another person. If she waved to me ...I would wave....if she came to me and started a conversation...I would talk with her.

Again...I apologize....you misunderstood....i get it. You have no way to know what i meant because you dont know me. I hope now you understand a bit better. Chances are...when i get to TV...if i get to TV...our paths will never cross. I live in a very small community....I certainly have never met everyone.....and in a city of 114,000....i wont cross paths with thousands and thousands. But i will cross your path here.....and i dont want to offend anyone here.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by queasy27

You don't understand people not wanting to wave or smile? I grew up largely in a big city and it wasn't normal or expect to interact with strangers on the street. I'm naturally inward-focused and kind of don't notice people anyway, but I would never say hello out of the blue. It would make me uncomfortable.



I agree and share your motivation for moving here, along with siblings being here first. I only know one another person on my block and, out of choice, don't participate in any neighborhood get-togethers. I would consider it intrusive for anyone to come to my house uninvited. Despite any opinions to the contrary, I am happy and have all the social interaction I personally need.



Absolutely right, but I'd also hope that Villagers are still able to accommodate people who don't fit that norm.

You and I are very different, but as Mr. Rogers says; We are BOTH special.

Sometimes I just don't live up to Mr. Rogers. I get all ****y.