[jaspal]

I am so sorry that you are experiencing a bad neighbor. Buttonwood Hgts has the best neighbors. I have not meet an unfriendly neighbor yet.

[Talk Host]

We had a neighbor with diabetes. He didn't do much to take care of himself. His personality would change day to day. Some days he would be a good neighbor. Some days he would be silent. There were times that he actually came out and screamed at other neighbors.

For a while, he was my golf buddy, then suddenly he was no longer friendly.

My wife and I actually came into his house at least four times and saved his life when he was in diabetic shock, but he never thanked us or even commented about our actions. (we could hear him moaning or thrashing about and went in to investigate)

Ya know, even though we knew he had a serious illness, it was still kind of irritating to be thrust into a role of care giver to a stranger who didn't display any gratitude. But we knew it was the right thing to do, so we did it.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by Bill-n-Brillo

Thanks for the plug, Tom!!

Bill

Thanks for the laugh.

Joe

[LI SNOWBIRD]

[Q.
Welcome to The Villages, we are glad to have you.[/QUOTE]

Hang in there buddy.. the rest of us are friendly and caring.

[JenAjd]

There will always be "that one" who can make it miserable for others. However, I'd just ignore his behavior and get to know your other neighbors. In the meantime...if you bake.....make some banana bread or similar item and take it over. Maybe he just needs someone to "break the ice".

To let one individual disturb you enough to want to move...gives him all the power!!!

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by sharon

Anyone moved to The Villages and don't like some of the people around you in the Neighbourhood you live in. I had family and friends down for July 4 weekend, the neighbour across the street seem to get very upset. There was 2 cars parked on the street just for a short time to unload the car and truck. Everyone was gone most of the day and at the Square at night. We have only moved in for 3 months now the person across the street wont speak and just stand there and looks at you. On 4th of July my friends were in a golf cart and the same person across the street was in the car as we passed he turn around and drove by us and then turn around and came back just looking at us. We have never been in a Neighbourhood that no one talk to anyone only a few people. The ones that do talk said they have never lived in a place where the neighbours don't talk much. We are ready to find a new place to go......

sharon:

I'm so sorry you find yourself with this dilemna. It's a shame that one neighbor is being a grouch due to hearing or medical problems, etc. I can understand your being upset as everyone wants a happy carefree experience TV has to offer.

You have received good advice. I would approach him in a way that you are comfortable with to determine if it is really you or he's mad at the world in general. If he is mad at the world, then don't let rent space in your head. Don't let him become your own personal nightmare. Ignore him or come to a understanding of what his problem actually is. I would not want to move as there are so many people you can have a good time with. JMO.

Best wishes for future happiness.

[Freeda]

There are any number of reasons, as mentioned above, for his behavior; could be some dementia, medication effects, hearing problem, negative personality, mourning, etc. If you try to break the ice by going over and initiating a conversation, or inviting him over for a visit, you may end up with a great friend or at least a good neighbor. If not, just take the higher road and handle the situation in a way that keeps your own attitude good whenever you see him - just always smile and wave or nod; and just tell yourself that, whether or not he ever lets you know, you may have made his day, but at least you kept your own day positive. TV's lifestyle attracts people who for the most part, in addition to all of the other perks, want to build new and lasting relationships.

[Walt.]

Maybe... just maybe... there is no problem at all. Maybe he's not sick, hard of hearing, a grouch, or anything at all.

Is there some sort of rule that everybody has to like everybody here? If somebody doesn't wave, or give you a big smile you have to make cookies, or a nice cake or something? How about handing him an envelope full of cash?
If he's throwing stuff on your lawn, bad-mouthing you around the neighborhood, or peeking in your window... you have a problem. Otherwise...

I have nice neighbors on both sides, across the street, and up and down the block. The guy directly across... not so much. Am I concerned? Nope... who cares? Did you like everybody at school, at work, everywhere?

On TOTV a while back a lady was upset that when riding her golf cart she waved to 75 other carts and only a few waved back... Give me a break.

[graciegirl]

Sometimes what feels normal and right depends on where you are from and what you are used to. The Villages doesn't feel much friendlier than Ohio to me...but it is a little. (Ohio is pretty friendly)

Were you wearing a cat in the hat hat?

(You said they were staring)

Did you remember to tie the back strings of your bikini?

One never knows what is on another persons mind.

I always assume they would like a friendly hello...and if that doesn't work...well there are 80,000 other folks who might like a friendly hello..

Just sayin'............

[Boomer]

Originally Posted by Walt.

Maybe... just maybe... there is no problem at all. Maybe he's not sick, hard of hearing, a grouch, or anything at all.

Is there some sort of rule that everybody has to like everybody here? If somebody doesn't wave, or give you a big smile you have to make cookies, or a nice cake or something? How about handing him an envelope full of cash?
If he's throwing stuff on your lawn, bad-mouthing you around the neighborhood, or peeking in your window... you have a problem. Otherwise...

I have nice neighbors on both sides, across the street, and up and down the block. The guy directly across... not so much. Am I concerned? Nope... who cares? Did you like everybody at school, at work, everywhere?

On TOTV a while back a lady was upset that when riding her golf cart she waved to 75 other carts and only a few waved back... Give me a break.

WALT!

Hey!

I am sitting in a McDonald's in Cincinnati. I am between appointments this morning, and I just stopped here to wolf down an Egg McMuffin. (i know they are not good for me, but I like 'em.) BUT, you, sir, just made me snort coffee out my nose and I just missed getting it all over my iPad.

Then I looked at where you are from, and I just gotta tellya I have never met a New Yorker that I did not like. Seriously. I mean that. In fact, if I ever get to TV from Ohio, I intend to try to sneak into one of the clubs with the New Yorkers. You New Yorkers tell it true. And with terrific humor. I must start practicing now so I can get the accent down.

Now, please send that envelope full of cash to me at my home address:

Boomer B. Boomer
60-ish Boomer Blvd.
Boomerville, Ohio

[BobKat1]

Originally Posted by Walt.

Maybe... just maybe... there is no problem at all. Maybe he's not sick, hard of hearing, a grouch, or anything at all.

Is there some sort of rule that everybody has to like everybody here? If somebody doesn't wave, or give you a big smile you have to make cookies, or a nice cake or something? How about handing him an envelope full of cash?
If he's throwing stuff on your lawn, bad-mouthing you around the neighborhood, or peeking in your window... you have a problem. Otherwise...

I have nice neighbors on both sides, across the street, and up and down the block. The guy directly across... not so much. Am I concerned? Nope... who cares? Did you like everybody at school, at work, everywhere?

On TOTV a while back a lady was upset that when riding her golf cart she waved to 75 other carts and only a few waved back... Give me a break.

Walt, what you say makes a lot of sense. TV is no different than any other city of +80k population except the ages of the residents are fairly close. Not everyone will like everyone else or be friendly.

Although fresh cookies does sound good.....

[eweissenbach]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Or like some folks that I know well, he didn't put his "hearers" in this morning after his shower. AND some people are PAINFULLY shy. Most people become more comfortable in the light of smiling faces and cheerful conversation.

I didn't wait to see if my neighbors came to me when we moved into Hadley three years ago, I went around a couple days after we moved into new house and introduced myself and invited them to coffee. I asked them to bring their own cup since we hadn't outfitted ourselves for company yet. Went to Publix and bought several of their lovely sweet rolls and some paper plates and forks...and enjoyed meeting all these nice people who soon became our friends and hopefully will continue to be our friends in our new home being built right now.

I hope that you find the secret to unlocking Mr. and Mrs. "Staring's" smiles. I think the BEST thing about TV is the people who have traveled down life's highway for at least five decades and have so many adventures to share.

I welcome YOU and hope that you find happiness, and peace, and health here in Lower Paradise for a thousand years.

Hugs,
Gracie

Better yet have Gracie come to his house with cookies. He will melt and become a teddy bear! And remember: No one can ruin your day without your permission.

[Barefoot]

Originally Posted by Walt.

Maybe... just maybe... there is no problem at all. Maybe he's not sick, hard of hearing, a grouch, or anything at all.

Is there some sort of rule that everybody has to like everybody here? If somebody doesn't wave, or give you a big smile you have to make cookies, or a nice cake or something? How about handing him an envelope full of cash?
If he's throwing stuff on your lawn, bad-mouthing you around the neighborhood, or peeking in your window... you have a problem. Otherwise...

I have nice neighbors on both sides, across the street, and up and down the block. The guy directly across... not so much. Am I concerned? Nope... who cares? Did you like everybody at school, at work, everywhere?

On TOTV a while back a lady was upset that when riding her golf cart she waved to 75 other carts and only a few waved back... Give me a break.

Sharon ... perhaps you remind your neighbor of his ex-wife who cost him millions in a divorce settlement.

Walt ... I have to tell you that I love your response. Some people just like to be left alone. Bringing them cookies and bread probably isn't going to change that. On our street we have one set of "hermit" neighbours. I call them the Kranks. And that is OK, they don't bother anyone, and no-one bothers them!

There are zillions of ways to make friends in TV. The neighborhood pool, block parties, sports, rec centre activities. I say, concentrate on the positive and don't let the kranks get to you.

[texasfal]

Walt I loved your response. I have a neighbor across the street who is agorophobic. If she comes out of her house, it is to put the garbage on the driveway and then she runs like the wind back inside. I also have a neighbor 2 blocks over who thinks she runs the neighborhood social club because she's been the treasurer for 10 years. She's just plain nasty. We just laugh. People are people. What are you going to do except keep your friends close and ignore the others. IMHO

[Freeda]

Even in TV, we're not going to befriend everyone, but since the poster's problem was with someone so near - right across the street - who will probably be seen often, and they were acting so oddly (ie, not just being avoident) for no obvious reason, to me it would be worth it to at least make an effort to try to be neighborly or find out if there is perhaps a misperception or misinterpretation about something, rather than just writing them off based on a possibly mistaken assumption.

Perhaps there was a problem between him and people who lived there before and he was trying to figure out if the poster was someone different - you just never know!

I think it's worth it to make an effort to be on at least cordial terms with nearby neighbors; but then I'm a little bit southern, except that I don't (can't) bake, but would share a beer or glass of wine!