[maggie1]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

I like to start a new tread with did anyone feel sad when they retired. I have not been happy since I left my job. I do not think I was prepared yet, mentally and financially. Even tried to return. The thought of moving to the Villages made me take an early retirement package but now feel like I did the wrong thing. I work part time now but still need to fill a void. Husband is retired and happy. I think I lost some of my independence.

Still missing my job.

I worked 27 years as a state trooper and the day I left I had those feelings of "What have I done?". Yet, I knew it was time to retire from that job, because the average time lapse between when a police office retires from his job and dies is five years. I knew several of my colleagues who did just that - they pulled the pin, felt they had no purpose, and died a short time later. I did take employment after the first retirement, and worked another 17 years, but then retired full-time when I turned 65.

What I'm reading in a few of these posts is that some people feel they have lost their identity - work was who they were. I urge you to get over those feelings, and consider a few of your options:

1. Seek part-time employment here in The Villages - they are always ready to hire.

2. Become involved with some of the social groups we have here - there are hundreds to choose from.

3. Do some volunteer work at any one of the hospitals, charities, or shelters in the area.

4. Start your own business from home. It doesn't need to be a big moneymaker, but it occupies idle hands. A few weeks ago one of TV residents invented a device that makes rolling up the sides of the cart enclosure easier - it was made of PVC pipe.

That's about all I can think of, but believe me, you might miss work more than the company misses you. I hope I didn't ramble too much, but I don't want you ending up like some of the five-year retired cops I once knew.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by Fraugoofy

It sounds like your old work environment was toxic. I don't go to work to have someone mother me.
I go to work to provide a service for which I am paid. I would not want someone to mother me or become that friendly with me at my place of employment. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Perhaps try finding some new hobbies or volunteer... best of luck to you.

Sent from my SM-N920R4 using Tapatalk

I know I sound a little bit strange. But when you work with people for 8 hours a day and for many years, it does become a second family to you. Actually you see them more than your own family. I think it is normal to miss someone. I never realized that myself when I worked there as like you said I was there for a paycheck and nothing else. But you do develop some kind of relationship with coworkers that you work with all day.

[TheMoyers]

If you are not volunteering, PLEASE start. The great majority of us have been so blessed, and finding a way to give back is INCREDIBLY rewarding. There is an almost endless list of opportunities to volunteer. Depending on your experiences and likes, you can easily find a place that needs you, and will reward you tremendously. Here are a few suggestions:

Tutors For Kids - help a struggling 6 year-old learn to read
MTRA in Ocala- assist handicapped folks learn to ride horses
Wildwood Food Bank
any church that has a Food Pantry (Community UM in Fruitland Park is one)

Believe me, the payback is priceless

[Blessed2BNTV]

Originally Posted by Fredster

I think that getting all or most of your feelings of self worth
from a job or work is a mistake, that will make retirement
hard to deal with!
Many years before retirement I lost a job that I had for many years, and it took me quite awhile to land another.
During the long time I was out of work I came to the
realization that I was still a useful, worthwhile
human being even without a job!
I also realized there were other ways to aquire good feelings about your life, such as hobbies,
other interests
and even helping others!
One big thing that I personally feel helped was, just prior to retirement asking God to help and guide me to
find useful and healthy activities to fill the free time I would have!
Then, keep an open mind and try different activities!

Fredster, thank you bringing up God and wisdom in this thread.

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by maggie1

I worked 27 years as a state trooper and the day I left I had those feelings of "What have I done?". Yet, I knew it was time to retire from that job, because the average time lapse between when a police office retires from his job and dies is five years. I knew several of my colleagues who did just that - they pulled the pin, felt they had no purpose, and died a short time later. I did take employment after the first retirement, and worked another 17 years, but then retired full-time when I turned 65.

What I'm reading in a few of these posts is that some people feel they have lost their identity - work was who they were. I urge you to get over those feelings, and consider a few of your options:

1. Seek part-time employment here in The Villages - they are always ready to hire.

2. Become involved with some of the social groups we have here - there are hundreds to choose from.

3. Do some volunteer work at any one of the hospitals, charities, or shelters in the area.

4. Start your own business from home. It doesn't need to be a big moneymaker, but it occupies idle hands. A few weeks ago one of TV residents invented a device that makes rolling up the sides of the cart enclosure easier - it was made of PVC pipe.

That's about all I can think of, but believe me, you might miss work more than the company misses you. I hope I didn't ramble too much, but I don't want you ending up like some of the five-year retired cops I once knew.

Thanks so much for your advice. Right now I am working part time in Long Island. Have to move to the Villages first. I keep changing my mind back and forth about moving. I know my husband wants to go. I am just going to miss some people here

[Fredster]

Originally Posted by Blessed2BNTV

Fredster, thank you bringing up God and wisdom in this thread.

I look at it this way...when I ask God for guidance and strength,
it opens up unlimited answers and posibilities!
When I decide to figure things out myself the results are
very limited!
Especially helpful, when one faces a new challenge
in their life like retirement!

[Abby10]

Originally Posted by Fredster

I look at it this way...when I ask God for guidance and strength,
it opens up unlimited answers and posibilities!
When I decide to figure things out myself the results are
very limited!
Especially helpful, when one faces a new challenge
in their life like retirement!

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

I think my problem is I felt more like a mother figure to them as I was the secretary that took care of them. They were like my children and I lost my children. I do miss them. I miss taking care of them. If I could go back, I would. They always looked up to me. I was respected by them and I respected them. I was happy there. I felt bad when I left. It is more like telling a mother not to see her children anymore.

This is going to sound so cruel but, YOU CANNOT GO BACK. You cannot go back in life in any way that I know of, everyone you knew has moved forward and you are moving backwards. They have a new den mother now in the Secretarial job you used to have, they have probably grown accustomed to her and (in all probability) you are becoming a distant memory.

Put your husband first in this and move forward with your life. Perhaps look at it this way, you are still very young, you have the probability of living to be well into your 80s and you could make a whole new life in that time.

[TOMCAT]

All I know of all the years of working and living here in Long Island, I have never encountered so many willing to help on this website or in the Villages. That is saying something.

Thank you for taking time out for me. I do appreciate. You are all wonderful. I am not quite sure who lives in the Villages but it does seem the Villages is the friendliest hometown.

I find it very difficult to explain what The Villages is like to people who have not been here. It is not like any other place I have ever been. I think that if we stayed up north after retirement I would have been bored and depressed. It was the best move for us.

[Abby10]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

This is going to sound so cruel but, YOU CANNOT GO BACK. You cannot go back in life in any way that I know of, everyone you knew has moved forward and you are moving backwards. They have a new den mother now in the Secretarial job you used to have, they have probably grown accustomed to her and (in all probability) you are becoming a distant memory.

Put your husband first in this and move forward with your life. Perhaps look at it this way, you are still very young, you have the probability of living to be well into your 80s and you could make a whole new life in that time.

Originally Posted by fw102807

I find it very difficult to explain what The Villages is like to people who have not been here. It is not like any other place I have ever been. I think that if we stayed up north after retirement I would have been bored and depressed. It was the best move for us.

There are so many good posts on here. Lots of wisdom and heartfelt honesty. Exactly what The Villages is all about - people helping people and caring about one another as we all enter into a new and unfamiliar stage in our lives. Not that one cannot find this elsewhere, but in TV one finds it in abundance.

[Madelaine Amee]

From reading all posts I have come to the conclusion that a club for new retirees would do very well and be very helpful for people transitioning from one life to another. So TomCat why not make that your new endeavour?

[Abby10]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

From reading all posts I have come to the conclusion that a club for new retirees would do very well and be very helpful for people transitioning from one life to another. So TomCat why not make that your new endeavour?

That is a great idea!

[amexsbow]

In 2003 I retired at the ripe old age of 59. As a type A I quickly realized that, I lived in a neighborhood where I was the only one who was retired. I decided to become a real estate agent and be my own boss... Real estate agents work on weekends and at night. Not for me. I was lucky enough to be contacted by a friend and went back to work in my chosen field. That lasted a year. I retired again and moved to a 55+ community in Texas. This is where I was able to make the transition to retirement. You made the right decision. You just need to refocus you energy. Join some clubs. Get some exercise. Travel and enjoy life. I found my passion in Pickle ball. Get a hobby. You will begin to make the transition mentally and you will enjoy life a lot more. I now live in NC but am working to convince my wife to move to TV. I am looking forward to playing Pickle ball and joining the woodworking group TV possibly in the next year.

[toeser]

Occasionally, I have had thoughts about no longer contributing, but then I put things in perspective. I was very good at my job, but I was never going to cure cancer or achieve world peace. The world will not know I retired. Initially, I missed contact with people who did what I did, a highly specialized financial job. The key for me was to get active. Actively search for activities, groups, clubs, sports, etc. that you might like. Today, I am 15 years into retirement, and I don't know how I found the time to have a job. It seems I search more for extra time than things to do. Not all of our activities rely on TV, but this is a great place to get involved. Good luck in finding what keeps you happy.