[Allegiance]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

All I know of all the years of working and living here in Long Island, I have never encountered so many willing to help on this website or in the Villages. That is saying something.

Thank you for taking time out for me. I do appreciate. You are all wonderful. I am not quite sure who lives in the Villages but it does seem the Villages is the friendliest hometown.

You Cant imagine how different the villages is from Long Island. So many wonderful people that will be your new family. Have lived on long island, stressful, high taxes, rush, rush rush.

Some of the best towns, like Port Washington are nice, but still do not compare to the Villages.

[PennBF]

I have a 90 year old brother who still works 7 days a week as a designer. Currently designing a sclupture for a Napa Valley Winery. He is flying in to visit us from California and was interested in attending a concert. Our Grandfather retired when he was 94 and refused to take Social Security as he said he didn't work for it. He had been a Sheriff for a while and managed a huge farm. He died when he was 102. The message is that you don't have to retire but if you do make sure you have something to do. I have volunteered for a couple of organizations, took piano lessons, play golf and I am no spring chicken. We travel all over the world and spent a couple of weeks in a Tuscany Villa, long cruises. Rather than feel lost in retirement go looking for things to do and don't allow yourself to fall into self pity, anger for where you are but do something about it.

[Jaydee7897]

A job is not forever...Even in a job we are not 100% satisfied...It just takes time to adjust to a new retirement routine..
I guarantee that in the near future you will see retirement as a positive step in your life...

[Brynnie]

Originally Posted by Wiotte

I’m going through the same feelings. I retired 12 months ago and I miss having a purpose. I was very good at what I did and was respected. I miss using my mind to the extreme which was at times necessary. But, I don’t miss waking up at 5AM, minimum 1 hour morning commute and at times a 3 hour afternoon commute. I don’t miss what it did to me physically with the stress. Financially I’m ok, being a very good investor so that isn’t a problem, although I won’t qualify for Medicare for another 2 years, and my wife 4. We bought into the ACA and pray it lasts till then. Overall I’m satisfied but I most certainly do miss the challenges of work.
But, this is where I’m at in life and I need to make the best of it. The challenge now is what is the best way to make it work for my overall mental and physical health. I’ve always had good health but have struggled with depression now and then. Retirement has made it worse. I’m now medicated for depression but still don’t have the motivation I once had.
I know myself, I know I will conquer this. I’ve got all this time to figure it all out, in time I will.


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Interesting that so many responders have feelings of regret about retiring. Even after 12 years, I, too, have that feeling every once in a while. As one responder said, at first it's a novelty, but having a schedule and purpose in life is very important, and with retirement it's easy to feel useless, especially if your job or profession was fulfilling. I was fortunate to be able to go back to my profession (university teaching) part time for a while, but that opportunity is now exhausted, and I'm making my own way now. It's not easy, but there are opportunities out there, if we're willing to put in the effort to search for them. I prefer not to think of retirement as the final stage of life. Let's just think of it as Act III!

[diane reynolds]

There are too many hours in the day when you are retired. And, playing cards just does not cut it. Look outside the Bubble in Wildwood and Oxford and Leesburg; there are many organizations where help is needed.

[virtualcynthia]

There is so much good advice here that it has given me a renewed attitude about retirement. I retired 3 years ago and went through much of what you expressed. It took me a little over a year and I still occasionally feel I’ve lost my sense of purpose. I wasn’t attracted to many of the clubs or activities, but I tried some new activities, Tai Chi and target shooting. Villagers are very friendly so through those two I was introduced to volunteering at a church to teach English (also something I had never done). That volunteer opportunity led to a paying, part-time job teaching. My point is consider this an adventure and be open to whatever comes. BTW, it’s easier to get a job here than in Long Island. Check Indeed for secretarial jobs in The Villages. And, you can always rent here or wherever you might want to retire before you move. Think about how blessed we are that we were able to retire.

[joldnol]

It took about fifteen minutes for me to acclimate. Retirement is fricking awesome!

[Stooley400]

I retired 3 times before it really took. I still dream of work, even though it’s been over 2 years since my last retirement. I highly recommend a book called “The Gift of Years” by Joan Chittister. Although the book is not strictly spiritual this could be an important part of your new life.
I belong to an aviation group and you’d be surprised at the number of 60+ who are taking up flying. The group is called The Village Flyers, there’s also a great Scuba club and of course Antique auto groups. Lots to do get involved

[OhioBuckeye]

Originally Posted by TOMCAT

I like to start a new tread with did anyone feel sad when they retired. I have not been happy since I left my job. I do not think I was prepared yet, mentally and financially. Even tried to return. The thought of moving to the Villages made me take an early retirement package but now feel like I did the wrong thing. I work part time now but still need to fill a void. Husband is retired and happy. I think I lost some of my independence.

Still missing my job.

Oh boy, don't know if you were talked into it by someone that's already retired & told you how great it was, FOR HIM & you took him like it's that way for everyone. I'm retired from Fo. Mo. Co. after 38 yrs. I'll be retired for 11 yrs. this April. I started thinking about retiring 2 yrs. before I actually did. I was always told, if there's any doubt that you don't want to retire, DON'T. You'll know when, especially when things don't start going right at work. Myself, I retired because I had put money in my 401k for 25 yrs. & that wasn't soon enough but I was surprise to see what was actually in my 401k. Also the Big 3 auto companies gave us a buyout, wasn't as great as some people thought but it was enough to ALMOST paid for a new Ford Escape. Don't retire if you're not ready or you will regret it & it sounds like you did. Don't know how old you are but if you're at retirement age & have your home paid for. Whew, I would seriously think about it so you can enjoy retirement before you get to old, then you'll start regretting that I'm to old & don't feel like doing anything. Hope this helps a little. Take care & Merry Christmas!

[Toymeister]

Not retired yet. But a Villages owner. I am certainly looking forward to the day when I am no longer a deployable (to Afghanistan) as an Army employee. Service to others has its place but at this point I think I have done my share of deployments (five).

They say it is best to have something to retire TO something and not FROM something. I believe once you answer that you will find peace and fulfillment.

[THUNDERCHIEF]

Originally Posted by tomcat

i like to start a new tread with did anyone feel sad when they retired. I have not been happy since i left my job. I do not think i was prepared yet, mentally and financially. Even tried to return. The thought of moving to the villages made me take an early retirement package but now feel like i did the wrong thing. I work part time now but still need to fill a void. Husband is retired and happy. I think i lost some of my independence.

Still missing my job.

you must not have any hobbies or friends- just go get a job if that makes you happy

[TOMCAT]

Originally Posted by THUNDERCHIEF

you must not have any hobbies or friends- just go get a job if that makes you happy

I have a few good friends that I known for a long time. I have other friends from work. Everyone is usually working. My husband is home all the time. I did make some more in the neighborhood since I been home. I do have a part time job now, but missed my old job. Felt like I left too soon and could not get back.

[Sgroemm]

You can't see where you are heading if you are always looking in the rear view mirror. Give yourself the gift of a reasonable time to adjust and move on. Only entertain thoughts on a positive future...if those nagging 'rear view mirror" thoughts creep into your head....shoo them away with thoughts like "I don't have to get up at 5:30 am any more" or "I can read a book by the pool for hours if I want to" ahhhhh....so nice!

[Wiotte]

TOMCAT sounds like she’s a task oriented person. Not everyone is people oriented. Some are a mix.


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[frtlinr]

OP, I read the entire thread, and the advice you received from those suggesting counseling are the ones that I agree with most. You must move forward and adapt or you may never be happy. I know that you may find this advice as harsh, but please see a professional, and perhaps you can begin to move forward and begin to love this beautiful thing called life again. My best wishes are with you for a new way to view what life is today.