[rjm1cc]

Originally Posted by redwitch

One of my dear friends died recently. No surprise, she had congestive heart failure and had had several heart attacks in the past year. The tragedy was not her death, the tragedy was that her wishes were not followed.

She had two desires -- to die in her home and to be buried with her beloved husband. Hospice called her daughter in Hawaii and said something had to be done NOW. Jean, my friend, found someone to stay with her 24/7 right after the hospice social worker called the daughter.

Jean's daughter decided that the best thing would be to come to Florida and take her mother back to Hawaii to die there. Jean did not want to go and felt she was being kidnapped. She also felt helpless in stopping this. So, Jean was flown to Hawaii, put in a hospital bed in the dining room and died a week later. She was with her daughter and grandson, whom she adored, but time was taken from her life by the flight and she did not die where she wanted.

There was no maliciousness meant in taking Jean to Hawaii but it was still wrong. This is not what she wanted and she was too weak to fight for herself. Folks, please be sure your wishes are very well known, written out and that you have someone who can fight for you to see that what you want happens. Don't wait until you're too weak to stop things from happening.

Unfortunately it might not be possible to follow the wishes of another. It sounds like her daughter did what she could.

[l2ridehd]

Originally Posted by rjm1cc

Very good suggestions. I would add arranging for burial plot etc if that fits in your plans.

Burial plot is arranged, headstone is in place, and is covered in item one as part of the funeral.

[SALYBOW]

Originally Posted by asianthree

Advance Directive takes care of all this very event....make sure you have one

I wish I could say that I had confidence that this is true. As a hospital chaplain I have seen many incidences of people with Advanced Directives not having them followed. The family came in and stated that they did not agree with them. The doctors had to follow the families wishes or risk being sued. This is a real possibility since in End of Life situations we meet each person at their worst. Many are not able to accept the loss yet so they insist that the loved one be recessitated over and over until it no longer works. CPR is not as it is portrayed on TV. It is brutal and often results in broken ribs, and other injuries. It is never a pleasant experience for the recipient.
I know that it is necessary to be mindful of everyones feelings, but I disagree with the child who is out of town making decisions "in abstentia." It might not even be the same decision if they were watchung the person's disease progress.
I still heartily beseech people to make their End of Life wishes known to the whole family, not just the person closest to them. My good wishes go with you and your Family in these decisions. BTW. Soory for your loss Dee.

[CFrance]

But please... don't call it a Death Book. There's gotta be some less brutal title for it. I know one of our sons that would have a hard time opening such a title.

Ours it titled Vital Information and is already in our childrens' hands.