[dillywho]

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter

I like this suggested response.....only it should be said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

That works with those kind of people because they will not challenge anyone in authority or take an attitude. Does the word "bully" ring a bell? (They're not all school kids, you know.)

There was a guy in SS one night that told some other people that they could not put chairs (which would actually be in line with the other rows, I might add) in front of theirs. The other gentleman told him that when someone in charge or someone from the entertainment staff told him that he could not do it, then he wouldn't but until then...no go. Guess what? The guy with the problem shut up and left soon after to go to dinner. Just more of the "me, me, me" attitude some bring with them no matter where they go.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by ajbrown

Was it the instructor and assistant ?

It is sad things like that happen. Although uncommon, it happened to my wife last year. In a crowded class a "big nasty" man (her description) came in long after she was there and told her that was his spot and stood right there until she moved. It was upsetting for her and really aggravated me, but life goes on....

I am not sure how I would handle as it is not worth a physical fight IMO. Knowing my personality, I suspect I would LOL, then in a very serious face, say .....sorry, I thought you were joking....

Maybe followed by, ".....tell you what, you go tell the instructer or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will.

As everyone knows a small percentge of <insert word here> exist everywhere. It is a shame we cannot tag them so everyone would see them coming.

Being a non-confrontational type of person, I think I would move but would complain to management of the people who do this sort of thing. Management should deal with this type of behaviour. If one is so concerned about "my spot", they should make it their business to get there early enough to occuply "my spot".

If one really feels compelled to say something directly, a great idea is the response, "tell you what, you go tell the instructor or folks at the front desk I am in your spot. If they tell me to move, I will".

Sadly, some people don't realize what comes out of their mouths and how it affects other people. I know I would never be friendly with someone who does something of this nature.

They would never make my Christmas card list.

[pooh]

Sorry you encountered an extremely rude and pushy person. They do exist in TV, but in fewer numbers than in other areas for the most part. Guess people sort of feel that this is more like a resort than a home town for a while and as swrinfla said, " some hang on to the prejudices and "me, too" outlooks of their previous life!"

After a while, they might soften to the gentle smiles and more friendly attitudes of the majority. Let's hope so! Some people are more self centered than others and their world is rather limited....it's them and no one else. Sometimes it's because they haven't yet adjusted to retirement, other times it could be because of age related changes that impact thinking, sometimes it's just because they're nasty individuals. It's probably just better to smile, explain that spots are not assigned and it's a first come, first to get a spot situation. (Not sure they'd appreciate it if someone talked to their wife or mother in the manner you were spoken to...and plenty of residents have older relatives in TV. ) They might not like moving, but that's just something they're going to have to adjust to.

(Guess you can't drive your big rig over their motorcycles like they do in the movies.... )

[Bettiboop]

I'm a non-confrontational type person for the most part also, so I'm not sure what I would have really said in this situation. What I would have liked to say is something like "Your spot, you say?? Ok...you can have it when my class is over." (and then I would run like h*LL....LOL)

[mgjim]

You don't have to go very far to find rude people but you've go to pick your battles.

[bestmickey]

Whoa Nellie. I won't be much liked if I ever do move to Paradise. While I don't consider myself confrontational, on the other hand, I do stand my ground. My first response would be to roll my eyes while standing my ground. If she persisited, my second response would be verbal, that she should "get a life", while also standing my ground. If she persisted still, no telling what I would say or do, but be assured that I would still be standing my ground.

[Freeda]

I think we should try to promote the spirit of expecting others to honor basic fairness, which is especially important in a community as large as this; and so I think a thing to do might be to give the person demanding the place the benefit of the doubt, and just politely say something like, "I realize that you must not know this, but there are no reserved places in the classes here" and just smile and stay put. I would say it just loudly enough that the attention of others around would be drawn - in case of attack! (-; .

This time of year, in particular, the classes start filling up so quickly that if you relinquish a place, you might not find another. (Which reminds me of the time my husband was seated on a flight, which was full, and another man appeared at the seat with a boarding pass bearing the same seat number. The attendant was called, and she apologized for the airline's error and told my husband and the other man that her solution was for them to draw straws for the seat. My husband just shrugged his shoulders and said "But . . I already have a seat." People in the surrounding seats were all ears and were asking for popcorn. A short 'staredown' followed, and then the stewardess asked the other man to come with her, and he left the plane. But, I digress).

I agree that starting an unpleasant 'scene' over a little thing like this isn't classy (and Gracie, your mom sounds like mine in always expecting what she called 'mannerliness' - regardless of who was right or wrong - only mine would have probably gotten a switch), but that should not be necessary.

The problem with just acquiescing in a demand like this is that it just encourages this kind of inappropriate assertiveness on their part toward others in the future.

[Skybo]

How about this...you relinquish “the spot” and then stand at the back of the exercise area. Just before class begins you raise your hand and ask the instructor (in a loud and clear voice) where your “reserved spot is”. When the instructor tells you that there are no reserved spots...then do or say whatever makes you comfortable. Even if you don’t say or do anything, I think the point will be made and I doubt anyone in that class will be claiming a “spot” again.

[Mudder]

The "you're in my spot" person is a bully imho. Bullying is so pervasive in our society today. No one needs to enable the bullies by folding to them. Stand your ground always !

[Boudicca]

my exercise class fills up 45 mins before the start time, and there is often a "milling around" situation when someone's "spot' has been taken when folks arrive 20 mins later. So far, no verbal protests have been voiced, but I am mentally prepared. I am going to smile (disarmingly) and reply "Its amazing how quickly the class fills up now that the seasonal folks have returned, I got here at 7.0am to make sure I could get in"... then stand my ground. .... with a smile...

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Here's something to consider trying:

If you find yourself in a situation like springfield describes, simply respond to the person's initial statement to you by posing a question back to them - quietly, politely, and with a smile. When they reply, ask another appropriate question. Another reply, another relevant question, and so on:

"Is reserving a spot really allowed?"
"Is management o.k. with permitting reserving a spot?"
"Is there something particularly different about this spot versus another one?"

If you handle the situation in a non-confrontational manner - and your questions don't become personal, snide, or snippy - the person thinking they have dibs on the spot will either tire of it all or, as others around you start to see and hear what's going on, they'll quickly make themself look foolish if they continue to pursue it.

You've controlled the situation, stood your ground in a non-confrontational way.......and hopefully made a completely rational point to the spot-squatter in the process.

Just a thought............

Bill

[angiefox10]

Originally Posted by Bill-n-Brillo

Here's something to consider trying:

If you find yourself in a situation like springfield describes, simply respond to the person's initial statement to you by posing a question back to them - quietly, politely, and with a smile. When they reply, ask another appropriate question. Another reply, another relevant question, and so on:

"Is reserving a spot really allowed?"
"Is management o.k. with permitting reserving a spot?"
"Is there something particularly different about this spot versus another one?"

If you handle the situation in a non-confrontational manner - and your questions don't become personal, snide, or snippy - the person thinking they have dibs on the spot will either tire of it all or, as others around you start to see and hear what's going on, they'll quickly make themself look foolish if they continue to pursue it.

You've controlled the situation, stood your ground in a non-confrontational way.......and hopefully made a completely rational point to the spot-squatter in the process.

Just a thought............

Bill

Sooooo Asking what the are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea????

[Bill-n-Brillo]

Originally Posted by angiefox10

Sooooo Asking what the are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea????

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......I think you must've skipped over the part about not making the questions personal, snide, or snippy! I believe probably blows all 3 of those categories out of the water - and undoubtedly many others as well!

I'm still laughing..............

Bill

[angiefox10]

Originally Posted by Bill-n-Brillo

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh......I think you must've skipped over the part about not making the questions personal, snide, or snippy! I believe probably blows all 3 of those categories out of the water - and undoubtedly many others as well!

I'm still laughing..............

Bill

Oh..... nevermind....

[skyguy79]

Originally Posted by angiefox10

Sooooo Asking what the are you talking about??? Probably wouldn't be a good idea????

I hope you're talking about asking the numb scull who thinks he/she's a deed holder to the spot and not Bill!