Originally Posted by Marathon Man
And now added to the list - sprinklers spraying water on the street.
"I am only here in The Villages because my wife insisted. This is not her opinion; she loves every little thing about it. For me though other than the warm winter weather, it sucks. Driving anywhere is a pain. Way too much traffic and it will continue to get worse as they are continuing non stop developing. Homes are crammed together & you can hear everything from next door, conversations, dishes clanking, dogs barking - it can be as noisy as living in an apartment building. Hope you don’t mind nosey neighbors either.
Those near the Florida Turnpike or busy Morse Blvd have 24-7 traffic noise. The really unlucky people live near a pickleball court. Pickleball is played with a paddle and a hard plastic wiffle-type ball on a badminton-size court with a tennis net. The sound of a paddle striking a pickleball is similar to a ping-pong game amplified. All day long - bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. I heard the CIA is replacing waterboarding with audio tapes of pickleball games to make enemy suspects talk. A couple of hours listening to pickleball and they would give up their own mothers!
Heavy golf cart traffic is ridiculous and dangerous. I ride my bike on the cart paths and it is scary. Read the ‘Villages-News.com’ online newspaper for all the latest drunk cart driving accidents and the real unvarnished truth about what goes on here. Recently there has been a number of drivers with their full-size vehicles inadvertently on the cart paths. Stupidity & senility go hand-in-hand whether driving a full-size vehicle or toy car (aka golf cart) in The Villages.
Many of the ridiculously expensive golf carts are pimped out with these godawful conversion kits to look like Hummers, Jeeps, Rolls Royces, etc. Then here in the land of sunshine, they fully enclose the carts with heat & AC. It was in the mid-70’s the other day, not a cloud in the sky, and most of the golf carts I passed had their doors closed & people even had on winter clothes. Back home I used to drive my Jeep Wrangler from May to the end of October with the doors and top removed. I just don’t get it!
The swimming pools are all heated too. I mean it is 90 degrees in the shade and you need a heated pool? It must have something to do with poor blood circulation in old people.
Leesburg, Florida is next door to The Villages and has more crime than seems possible for such a small town with only 20k residents. I used to think that Erie, PA was like the Wild West when it came to drive-bys, shootings, drug crime, and robberies. All those crimes and more are rampant in Leesburg and make Erie look like a peace & love commune!
Don’t make the mistake of thinking there isn’t any crime within The Villages. Just because people get old doesn’t necessarily mean they are all now honest upstanding citizens! Stalking, sex crimes, road rage, vandalism, theft, gun crime, assaults, alcohol & drug related incidents are in the local news regularly. A 76 year old man was arrested for strangling his female partner over an argument involving their cats! A woman was arrested for throwing rocks at a child, hitting the kid 5 times. You can’t make this stuff up...it is nuts!
If you are a fan of plastic artificial stuff in general, The Villages is the place for you. There are currently 3 imitation Western, Spanish, and Seaside themed town squares with overpriced shops, boutiques, restaurants, and markets. There are even ‘pretend’ Country Clubs where you can go and hang out while you make-believe you are a member of an elite club.
The Villages is a “gated community”. Not really though. There are gates but they are just to slow you down as the cart paths & village entrances intersect at that point. You do not need any ID or passcode to enter. Some of the entry gates actually have people manning them but it is just for show. There are no guards to enforce strict entry rules. The gates get knocked down all the time by idiot drivers. The “gated community” term is a marketing tool and to make residents feel privileged & entitled.
The Villages has strict rules regarding what you can and cannot do with your property such as lawn ornaments, landscaping, etc. However, the rules are only enforced if there is a complaint which pits neighbor versus neighbor. So much for “Florida’s Friendliest Hometown”. Even then, they cannot enforce anything. They just send you letters and fines you can ignore forever. I want to get a black lawn jockey for my front yard!
The Villages is a marvel of overpriced cookie-cutter homes arranged in “villages” that remind me of a Twilight Zone episode in which a couple woke up in this picture perfect town only to find out everything in it was fake and they were in a giant being’s terrarium. The Villages is like ‘The Stepford Wives’ meet ‘Pleasantville’ in ‘The Twilight Zone’. The place is as strange and unnatural as it gets.
The Villages has been described as an adult playground, a land-locked cruise ship, and a Disney World for adults. I always thought a person should age with some semblance of dignity but reverting back to their childhood is a common theme here. Playing games all day, driving toy cars, wearing silly hats & clothes, they are an embarrassment to senior citizens in general. When someone back home asks me where I live in Florida, I just say between Orlando & Ocala, never The Villages.
Get outside TV and this central part of Florida is pretty darn ugly. Swamps, brush & scrubs, ugly trees, trashy homes, dumpy house trailers with plenty of crime & drugs to go around. I carry a legally concealed handgun pretty much everywhere I go.
If you like alligators, The Villages has more alligators than we have stray cats up north. They wander across golf courses, backyards and trails. The alligators don’t seem bothered by humans. Coincidentally the neighborhoods are inexplicably free of any stray cats.
I am more critical of The Villages than most because I don’t play golf, I don’t like games or clubs, I don’t like to socialize, I don’t like pools, I don’t like replicas and would much rather be around animals than people. I’ve been here for 2 winters and haven’t needed or would even use an ID card for anything they offer.
I prefer solitary pursuits; cycling, hunting, fishing, kayaking, reading, television, sitting on a beach, etc. Any natural setting by an ocean, forest, river, or lake is my cup of tea. I live in a small lakeside community at home in PA. The homes are all quaint & unique. The people are genuine and the setting although developed retains a natural look and feel.
As I said before, I am not your typical resident. The stranger asks, “Where is it you live?” Somewhere between Orlando and Ocala :-)"
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04-25-2022, 07:11 AM
