[Dr Winston O Boogie jr]

Diary of a snow shoveler, probable location - North East
 


December 8 - 6:00 PM
 It started to snow.
 The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
 It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
 So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
 I love snow!
 

December 9
 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
 What a fantastic sight!
 Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
 Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
 Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
 I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
 This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
 What a perfect life!
 

December 12 
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
 Such a disappointment!
 My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
 No snow on Christmas would be awful!
 Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
 I don't think that's possible.
 Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
 

December 14
 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
 The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
 The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
 This is the life!
 The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
 I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
 I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
 

December 15
20 inches forecast.
 Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
 Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
 Stocked the freezer.
 The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
 I think that's silly.
 We aren't in Alaska, after all.
 

December 16
 Ice storm this morning.
 Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
 Hurt like hell.
 The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
 

December 17 
Still way below freezing.
 Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
 Electricity was off for 5 hours.
 I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
 Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
 Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
 God I hate it when she's right.
 I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
 

December 20
 Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. 
 More shoveling!
 Took all day.
 The damn snowplow came by twice.
 Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
 I think they're lying.
 Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
 Might have another shipment in March.
 I think they're lying.
 Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
 I think he's lying.
 

December 22
 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
 Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to ****.
 By the time I got undressed, ****ed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
 Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the ******* is lying.
 

December 23 
Only 2 inches of snow today 
And it warmed up to 0 degrees.
 The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
 What is she, nuts?!!
 Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
 She says she did but I think she's lying.
 

December 24
 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
 Thought I was having a heart attack.
 If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
 I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
 Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
 

December 25
 Merry freaking Christmas!
 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
 The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
 God, I hate the snow!
 Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
 The wife says I have a bad attitude.
 I think she's an idiot.
 If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
 

December 26
 Still snowed in.
 Why the hell did I ever move here?
 It was all HER idea.
 She's really getting on my nerves.
 

December 27 
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
 

December 28 
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
 The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
 

December 29 
10 more inches.
 Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
 That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
 

December 30
 Roof caved in.
 I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
 The wife went home to her mother.
 Nine more inches predicted.
 

December 31
 I set fire to what's left of the house.
 No more shoveling.
 

January 8
 Feel so good.
 I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
 Why am I tied to the bed?

[cgalloway6]

My sentiments exactly.

[2BNTV]

People in the northeast love snow!!! NOT

Thanks for posting.

[Serenoa]

Been there, Done that.

Growing up on a farm in east central Illinois we used to get snowed in for days at a time. Had to wait for the township snow plow to come down our country road before we could get out & go anywhere. And it wasn't uncommon to go 30 days or more & NEVER get above 32 degrees F.

No more!!

[LynnDeb]

I used to bring in my boots, shovel, and car brush to work knowing that I would need all these items leaving work at 6pm or 8pm...If the street I parked on got plowed in again.....OMG!!! going home freezing cold and took awhile to warm up too!!!

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by Dr Winston O Boogie jr

Diary of a snow shoveler, probable location - North East
 


December 8 - 6:00 PM
 It started to snow.
 The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
 It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
 So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
 I love snow!
 

December 9
 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
 What a fantastic sight!
 Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
 Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
 Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
 I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
 This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
 What a perfect life!
 

December 12 
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
 Such a disappointment!
 My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
 No snow on Christmas would be awful!
 Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
 I don't think that's possible.
 Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
 

December 14
 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
 The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
 The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
 This is the life!
 The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
 I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
 I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
 

December 15
20 inches forecast.
 Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
 Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
 Stocked the freezer.
 The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
 I think that's silly.
 We aren't in Alaska, after all.
 

December 16
 Ice storm this morning.
 Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
 Hurt like hell.
 The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
 

December 17 
Still way below freezing.
 Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
 Electricity was off for 5 hours.
 I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
 Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
 Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
 God I hate it when she's right.
 I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
 

December 20
 Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. 
 More shoveling!
 Took all day.
 The damn snowplow came by twice.
 Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
 I think they're lying.
 Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
 Might have another shipment in March.
 I think they're lying.
 Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
 I think he's lying.
 

December 22
 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
 Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to ****.
 By the time I got undressed, ****ed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
 Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the ******* is lying.
 

December 23 
Only 2 inches of snow today 
And it warmed up to 0 degrees.
 The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
 What is she, nuts?!!
 Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
 She says she did but I think she's lying.
 

December 24
 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
 Thought I was having a heart attack.
 If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
 I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
 Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
 

December 25
 Merry freaking Christmas!
 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
 The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
 God, I hate the snow!
 Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
 The wife says I have a bad attitude.
 I think she's an idiot.
 If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
 

December 26
 Still snowed in.
 Why the hell did I ever move here?
 It was all HER idea.
 She's really getting on my nerves.
 

December 27 
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
 

December 28 
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
 The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
 

December 29 
10 more inches.
 Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
 That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
 

December 30
 Roof caved in.
 I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
 The wife went home to her mother.
 Nine more inches predicted.
 

December 31
 I set fire to what's left of the house.
 No more shoveling.
 

January 8
 Feel so good.
 I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
 Why am I tied to the bed?

VERY FUNNY. YOU MUST LIVE IN BUFFALO???????????? Or, used to?

It sounds very much like Vermont "used to be" when we were raising our children. Lately, it's warm, balmy and humid for November and December......rain instead of snow. Very strange weather.

We're hoping for light snow by Christmas Eve.

Last year, our grandkids in northern Vermont were disappointed with the total lack of snow. All of their favorite activities such as cross country skiing, tabogganing, ice skating, etc. were cancelled due to "lack of snow", an unheard of condition. The super sized L.L. Bean sonic round "tube" for sledding, which we gifted them with for Christmas, went unused due to lack of snow. Both Vermont and Colorado had little, if any snow, which was not good for the ski industry. Of course, they can make snow "if" the temps get low enough. Balmy weather seems to be the norm lately.

ENJOYED YOUR POST.......TREMENDOUSLY. We'll come and spring you from the nut house if you tell us where in Buffalo, New York it is....!!!

[Love2cruise]

Thank you for starting my day with such a good laugh! I still have tears running into my coffee. We lived in Newburyport, MA for 3 winters and I was also looking for that snow plow driver, I never found him!

[ugotme]

I LOVE SNOW IN THE NORTH EAST.

THAT'S WHY I LIVE IN THE SOUTH EAST !!!!

[CalcTeacher]

Thanks for making my day with this post! My husband and I both laughed hysterically as the writer's tone got darker and gloomier...we've been there, done that!

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by CalcTeacher

Thanks for making my day with this post! My husband and I both laughed hysterically as the writer's tone got darker and gloomier...we've been there, done that!

My mood will get darker and gloomier when the snow arrives this winter.

[mgjim]

• Woke up this morning to about 6" of fresh snow;
• Planned to join my kids for brunch and headed out on the highway after about 20/30 minutes of snow removal, scraping, shoveling, etc.;
• Five minutes after leaving my driveway, hit a patch of glare ice and hit a concrete barrier damaging my bumper and my normally good mood;
• Called my kids and told them I'd meet them in the spring;
• Sat down to do an online home search in The Villages.

Please let this be my last winter in the Upper Midwest!

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by mgjim

• Woke up this morning to about 6" of fresh snow;
• Planned to join my kids for brunch and headed out on the highway after about 20/30 minutes of snow removal, scraping, shoveling, etc.;
• Five minutes after leaving my driveway, hit a patch of glare ice and hit a concrete barrier damaging my bumper and my normally good mood;
• Called my kids and told them I'd meet them in the spring;
• Sat down to do an online home search in The Villages.

Please let this be my last winter in the Upper Midwest!

I hope your only kidding. If not, I hope your OK.

Sorry to hear of your accident. The white stuff is a major bummer.

[mgjim]

Originally Posted by 2BNTV

I hope your only kidding. If not, I hope your OK.

Sorry to hear of your accident. The white stuff is a major bummer.

Nope, not kidding. I'm fine but kind of mad at myself for letting this happen. I guess I should have stayed in bed this morning.

I expect to be in TV next winter.

[Cantwaittoarrive]

I'm getting ready to shovel ice, shovel ice into my drink and go out and grill some burgers. That's why I live in TV

[ugotme]

Originally Posted by Cantwaittoarrive

I'm getting ready to shovel ice, shovel ice into my drink and go out and grill some burgers. That's why I live in TV

My kind of ice !