This is an interesting thread to read. My reasoning for considering moving into TV is that 1) we will get our downsizing done now while we have the energy/ability to do it ourselves 2) we will choose a fairly low maintenance yard so that we will have more time for fun activities and travel 3) we will enjoy time together as a couple but we will also each find an activity or two to do individually based on our own interests 4) we will get the lay of the land and our doctors/dentist, etc established while we are clear thinking and healthy. Hopefully, we'll have things in place well before a health emergency crops up.

Health problems and the loss of a spouse are not going to be easy no matter where you live. But I would think that it would be doubly hard to go through a crisis when you are in a regular suburban neighborhood with mostly young families around you. It's not that the neighbors don't care, they just are in a very different stage of life than a retired couple is. I'm not a big fan of the idea of moving in with my adult children even though I think that they are amazingly wonderful people. They need to focus on work, their own spouses/homes and raising their own children without worrying about me and their dad. So, for me, part of the plan would be to stay put in TV, in our paid off home no matter what life brings our way. Or at least that is the theory I have of how it will be. I know that reality has a way of changing plans.

Each situation is different. I know a woman widowed three times in 35 years who soon found a new husband after each one passed. She is plain in appearance but pleasant intelligent company. Another one in her early 70s within a short period of time married a guy she had worked with for years after her husband of 40+ years suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Others live out their lives as singles. People handle grief differently. I have observed widowers and widows marrying people they had known in childhood or throughout their marriages. IMHO a late in life marriage within someone you have known well over time is a good thing.

Also I believe one's age, health, outlook on life and family situation can be determinative factors.

Quite a few years ago my in-laws lived in Oak Run 55 + Ocala. They told us once a spouse passed the widow/widower became like a 5th wheel and were never invited out with those friends who were their friends as couples. It all came down to the same thing the widow/widower was assumed to be a wife or husband thief.

I’ve told my wife when I go to put a sign on the front door the says “only single digit handicaps need knock on this door”. 😀😀

Interesting topic. I have thought about this subject a lot and even did some research. Almost 18 years in TV and, in spite of it being a "community with the illusion of gates," I had felt safer here than anywhere else I have lived. Thanks to ptsd and agoraphobia, I don't do well with crowd situations, etc. and try to keep my life simple and quiet. If it was to happen that my DH goes first and leaves me behind, I would not want to live here alone in a house that would be too difficult to maintain by myself. Also, too expensive between the bonds, taxes, amenities fees, etc for a 'lifestyle' I don't use and surely don't get my money's worth. I would have zero interest in dating or becoming a nurse or purse for anyone else. I would most likely look into a CCRC/independent living situation so I know I'll be taken care of when needed. I will never leave Florida as it has the best Veterans benefits of all the neighboring states. I would be sure to live near a VAMC and also closer to a military base. I have been researching CCRCs near Jacksonville. Hopefully this won't happen for a long time as I am not yet 65. But if it does, I want to be prepared. I would wait at least a year but then I'm outta here. Moving is not an option until then.
The other factor that has been mentioned here is going to live with kids. I never had children, but even if I did, I would never subject them to having to take care of me in my old age, the way my elderly parents did to me. 2020 has been tough on many people, but for me it's a piece of cake compared to 2017-2019. I had no life, couldn't travel. Caregiving is all encompassing and stressful in the best of circumstances and a full time job. Dealing with toxic family members on top of that stress was exhausting and ruined my health, both physical and mental. So the past few years have not been 'fun' the way retirement should be.
I have enjoyed all 3 of my homes here but not overly attached to any of them. I won't miss the crowds, traffic, or roundabouts. I would definitely miss having my own pool though.
Sorry for rambling - guess I got a little sidetracked. Everyone's circumstances are different and unique. Many residents here have a carefree retirement and TV is party central. I'm happy for them. However, many others struggle with various issues, whether financial, illness, disability, relatives, and so on.
Ain't nothing easy about aging! Best of luck!

This is such a tender subject. One so many of us face here in The Villages. We don't spend enough time talking between the two of us, (other than a persurary passing comment) that we are not giving our significant others some peace after our passing. My own circumstance depends on my personality. I am somewhat a loner, so am comfortable being alone. I crave the companionship of an animal (a feline) so would search out a new pet as I would not be traveling as much. He would search out another relationship, I am ok with that, I understand his needs.

My deepest concern is that my contribution to our core family is passed on to those that I want. I have seen too many inheritances go to a new spouse/family that did not have "ownership"). That has been taken care of.

Navyvet - be sure to analyze the financial stability of the CCRC before you commit to anything. Many are fine but more than a few are on shaky enough ground that I would be worried. If the CCRC goes belly up so does your contract and all of the money that you invested. Not trying to scare you, just giving a friendly reminder to do your research.

I would talk to a lawyer about possibly setting up a trust.

I would definitely stay. I told my husband I wanted us to get settled here so than when one of us goes, the other left behind won’t be lonely. We would have great health care already set up. This place is Paradise to both of us. Both of us said we would keep our home. It’s sits on a pond and we really enjoy the birds.

I would move back home and winter here.

My husband and I have discussed this subject. I’m not sure we have the same ideas on what we would do when the other passes. Personally, I think TV would be a great place for a single person. There are so many opportunities to do things you like to do, try things you’ve wanted to try, travel and meet new people. However, those aren’t the things I’m thinking about. My thoughts run more to....do I want to remain in this house? Do I want to downsize to a smaller individual home, giving up well known friends and neighbors that may provide needed moral support? Would I be better off in a condo or apartment? If I sold the house, rent wouldn’t be an issue, if something breaks or needs replacing, you just call the landlord. I feel that senior women are so vulnerable in so many ways. We don’t have the strength to do things that might me easy for a larger, stronger male. Would I feel safer if I was surrounded more closely by more people? I think it’s a very individual decision that has to be made based on personal preferences, finances and health. Everyone grieves differently and I’ve always been told that you should wait at least a year to make any significant changes.

Not so.. it is difficult for singles to meet contrary to the supposed men/women ratio.

I would stay. There are so many clubs and activities to get involved in. There are many singles here and people are friendly and want to meet others. You have to make an effort to make it work! You can always visit family but I feel it’s important to have your own life!

I’ve been a widow for five years. Three years ago I suffered a major health scare. After that I realized life is short - I better enjoy the rest of it. I came down here last winter and checked out The Villages and decided to move here which I did in June. Terrible timing because of Covid. So far, I have found The Villages to not be a great place for a widow. I’m hoping it’s different when clubs and activities resume. My neighbors for the most part have not been friendly. No parties, etc. like I understand other neighborhoods have. I am very outgoing and social and I’m finding it to be difficult. I won’t go to bars or dancing at the squares by myself. Also, I realized I moved too far away from my kids since Covid is making travel difficult. I’ll give it a year and if I feel the same way I’ll move back west.

Two years ago, my spouse of 37 years decided to pass to California as I guess since I was no longer making money, but rather spending it, the gig was up. I bought back half the house from her that I had already paid for once, stayed and have never regretted it. This place is awesome!!!