[njgranny]

After years of wanting to move to Florida, as soon as I said "let's go" (after seeing the Villages), my husband has backed away saying that he'll miss the
kids (grandchildren).

One of the kids encourages us to go (a little too much, ha, ha), one isn't
happy but accepts it, and the third isn't very happy at all. He got mad because his sister and her family moved away a few years back.

Anyway, I would like to sell the house for whatever we can get and go. I'll be happy with whatever home we can afford in The Villages. It's not like we have forever left. I'll keep "working" on DH. It's not like he spends tons of time with the grandkids, and they are so busy with their own things.

I will keep dreaming.

[faithfulfrank]

Originally Posted by nONIE

I am going thru this right now. As soon as the "for Sale" sign went into the ground we started getting h*** from the kids and grandkids. The guilt trip is overwhelming altho I am being more stubborn about resisting it then the hubby!

It is not an easy decision and I hope in time they will understand that they have a whole lifetime ahead of them, we dont! and whatever time we have left we need to enjoy to the fullest. We dont get a 2nd chance at this![/HTML]

My heart goes out to you. I know it was a shock to our kids when we bought a home in Florida, because we were just going for a visit...then returned to NY, put in a purchase offer and bought our future. Me, who researches everything for months did this nutsy spontaneous thing!!

We just told our kids that the winters were getting hard to take, and that we know that this is best for us. I've never held them back.....I've told them to make their OWN traditions and live YOUR life, go where the jobs are, do what is best for YOU. Wherever they end up, we can visit them.

We never counted on our parents for babysitting, etc......we raised our kids ourselves. We help out when we can, and have done more for our kids then was ever done for us. As we get older, I do not want to be a burden on them.

We live in the age of free long distance phone calls, webcams, cheap airfare, e-mail, etc,etc. They know that Mickey Mouse lives close by and we are almost neighbors......when they visit I can take them there too.

We are thankful that they understand and are not being selfish. They are really happy for us. No one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they spent more time at the office. It is two years away for us, and I'm sure it may be harder when the time grows near.....but the die is cast, this will happen and we can't wait!!

Bottom line is that when you really love someone, you want the best for them. The Bible says that love does not demand it's own way. Florida IS the best for us......it's what we want and have worked for......if any child is not happy with it, then one would have to question their motives and their love....IMHO.

Love them lots, make great memories between now and when you go, and pray that they grow to understand. The first thing you did when they were born was to cut the umbilical cord.....everything we did after that was to teach them to be successful and INDEPENDENT..........this is just another step in that loving process.......

Frank D.

[nONIE]

Frank,

Thankyou, I feel better already. Your common sense is so comforting and logical. It still will be difficult but I will try to remember your words of wisdom,and refer back to your post as I would a self-help book!

[faithfulfrank]

Thank you nONIE. You are very kind.

Frank D.

[Russ_Boston]

Originally Posted by The Great Fumar

I STOPPED CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT WHEN I TURNED 21, WELL ALMOST EVERYBODY .......

QUALIFIED FUMAR

Great quote Fumar!

I think it took me until 40 but I feel the same.

[Russ_Boston]

Originally Posted by njgranny

I'll be happy with whatever home we can afford in The Villages. It's not like we have forever left.

Amen!

[Russ_Boston]

Originally Posted by faithfulfrank

No one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they spent more time at the office.

Originally Posted by faithfulfrank

The first thing you did when they were born was to cut the umbilical cord.....everything we did after that was to teach them to be successful and INDEPENDENT..........this is just another step in that loving process.......Frank D.

Lots of great thoughts in this thread!

[nONIE]

Originally Posted by njgranny

After years of wanting to move to Florida, as soon as I said "let's go" (after seeing the Villages), my husband has backed away saying that he'll miss the
kids (grandchildren).

One of the kids encourages us to go (a little too much, ha, ha), one isn't
happy but accepts it, and the third isn't very happy at all. He got mad because his sister and her family moved away a few years back.

Anyway, I would like to sell the house for whatever we can get and go. I'll be happy with whatever home we can afford in The Villages. It's not like we have forever left. I'll keep "working" on DH. It's not like he spends tons of time with the grandkids, and they are so busy with their own things.

I will keep dreaming.

Nijranny,Dont stop dreaming( and keep bugging the hubby!)LOL

I never thought this would become a reality either. I agree with you 100%, on just selling the house for whatever we can get and also on it not mattering at all what we live in in TV. It has been said often that it is not so much the House you live in but the wonderful people and activities in TV that make it so wonderful. I have found that nothing could be more true, your thinking is right on! We have a doublewide in the Historic section and I just love it. I eat and sleep there and sometimes even entertain there. Friends do not seem to mind one bit, its the wonderful interaction with great people that is so meaningful.

[njgranny]

When we stayed in Florida last Jan. & Feb., we had a small cottage (2 br, 1 bath). We found it had plenty of room for the two of us and our two dogs.
I actually don't want much to have to clean.

I'm drawn to the homes on the historic side, too. I've seen many really attractive ones and the area appeals to me. I'll keep bugging.

[ouma1938]

NJGranny, I absolutely feel like you do about selling your house. I want to sell ours for whatever we can get for it and I don't care what we live in in TV as long as its in TV. Two of my kids are as anxious for us to begin our new life as we are but the third has some reservations. He has our only grandchild, as is worried that she won't know us well. Its silly really because we are three hours away now and we see them a fair amount but not that often. She is six and does know us and love us. Once once they visit TV they will understand I am sure. And they will even visit more. It will be much more fun for Molly. And so near Disneyworld. What more could a little girl want.

[Bogie Shooter]

Why not copy this thread and share it with the family?

[JeanneBeannie]

Originally Posted by faithfulfrank

My heart goes out to you. I know it was a shock to our kids when we bought a home in Florida, because we were just going for a visit...then returned to NY, put in a purchase offer and bought our future. Me, who researches everything for months did this nutsy spontaneous thing!!

We just told our kids that the winters were getting hard to take, and that we know that this is best for us. I've never held them back.....I've told them to make their OWN traditions and live YOUR life, go where the jobs are, do what is best for YOU. Wherever they end up, we can visit them.

We never counted on our parents for babysitting, etc......we raised our kids ourselves. We help out when we can, and have done more for our kids then was ever done for us. As we get older, I do not want to be a burden on them.

We live in the age of free long distance phone calls, webcams, cheap airfare, e-mail, etc,etc. They know that Mickey Mouse lives close by and we are almost neighbors......when they visit I can take them there too.

We are thankful that they understand and are not being selfish. They are really happy for us. No one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they spent more time at the office. It is two years away for us, and I'm sure it may be harder when the time grows near.....but the die is cast, this will happen and we can't wait!!

Bottom line is that when you really love someone, you want the best for them. The Bible says that love does not demand it's own way. Florida IS the best for us......it's what we want and have worked for......if any child is not happy with it, then one would have to question their motives and their love....IMHO.

Love them lots, make great memories between now and when you go, and pray that they grow to understand. The first thing you did when they were born was to cut the umbilical cord.....everything we did after that was to teach them to be successful and INDEPENDENT..........this is just another step in that loving process.......

Frank D.

I am soooooooo glad I found this post . I guess its my turn to get the major guilt trip . I know this is what I want to do, but now that I have alittle over a month to make this work....everyone is telling me I am crazy! I am trying to hold strong and know that they would do it in a NY minute if they could . But I must admit, they are wearing on me big time....so please dont hestitate to give me the push I need, and tell them to visit anytime hehe .

[oatmealgirls]

Originally Posted by JeanneBeannie

... I guess its my turn to get the major guilt trip ...
... I know this is what I want to do, ...
... I am trying to hold strong ...
... they are wearing on me big time....
... dont hestitate to give me the push I need...

Oh JeanneBeannie,

...and my heart goes out to you! I can not speak from the same experience as you, but I think that you have already answered yourself.

I've admired your drive and umph when I've followed your posts on TOTV. You are going with your intuition, and sometimes that's a scary thing to do, but you're doing it -bravo!

This is a major event in your (or anyone's) life and it's an appropriate time to have doubts and feel emotional, for both you and them (actually it's a good thing, don't you think? All that love pouring out :-).

Give yourself time to feel the guilt, and feel worn down, and whatever else you need to feel, but also remember to look at, and yes, admire about yourself, the strength and gumption it's taking to pave your own path.

Dianne

[linko38]

I had to chime in. We have recently moved to Summerfield Fl. Left all our family behind in Indiana. Since February we have had 5 sets of visitors. Grandson has came twice. We are so happy in Florida. Once our family saw that they totally understood. Life's too short to live with regrets. Our 22 year old daughter just came for a visit, now she's staying too! LOL

[katezbox]

Hi Jeanne,

I have loved your posts - you are funny and kind and (I think) brave,

We don't know the path in life we will be on and our children are part of our life (hopefully a really big part), but they are not our life in its entirety. Not if we are healthy.

Go back to a post by Faithful Frank - our being where we need to be is part of their journey. We need to reset their expectations that we have unknowingly created that led them to believe we would always be just around the corner.

See you in person in a few weeks...