[HeideHo]

We have never been to TV, but hope to be able to visit by next summer. We're going to put our house on the market here in NC, in the spring and hope for the best.

I am questioning myself as to whether or not TV will be a good fit for us. I do like to socialize but not constantly. I like some privacy too. We'll have to get our feet wet, perhaps renting, and see how it goes. Any suggestions or comments regarding how your experience was is welcome.

On another note* I was wondering if any of you ladies can provide much needed wisdom on getting over the saddness when the last child leaves home for good. My youngest just left for college. I thought I'd be fine, but I find I can't stop crying today. I'm really surprised at myself. I thought I'd be enjoying my new found freedom. How long before I get over this!

Heide S.

[iandwk]

If you have what I consider to be a "typical" experience you will fall in love with TV and the lifestyle. My wife and I rented for 2 months last summer to try it out. We found that we can stand the heat because it's no hotter here than most of the US in the summer, and we found that we hated to leave and missed it. It felt like we were away from home for a year. We sold out and moved here this summer and couldn't be happier.

I think you will discover that you can be as busy as you want to be or as private as you want to be. No one forces anything on anyone. My wife and I were talking today and saying that TV is what one dreams about while working towards retirement. All the safety of the neighborhoods, the activities, the shopping, and the restaurants one could desire. The best part, though, is the people. No one was born here and maybe that eliminates all the snobbishness of other places. We are all fairly new to TV, and I haven't found anyone yet who wasn't ready to help if needed, nor have I yet to find a rude person.

As far as missing your kids, I predict that once they visit you here you will see more of them than you expect. All our kids and grandkids love TV.

Try it out for a couple of months. If you don't like it well enough to move here, at least you will have had a nice long inexpensive vacation. It's like living in Disneyworld.

[HeideHo]

Thanks iandwk! I can tell by your response and from what I've read at the other forums, the people at TV are wonderful. I guess I'm feeling a little scared, maybe insecure? That's all. We can hopefully visit TV this summer.

[2BNTV]

iandwk
Member Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Village of El Santiago
Posts: 97



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If you have what I consider to be a "typical" experience you will fall in love with TV and the lifestyle. My wife and I rented for 2 months last summer to try it out. We found that we can stand the heat because it's no hotter here than most of the US in the summer, and we found that we hated to leave and missed it. It felt like we were away from home for a year. We sold out and moved here this summer and couldn't be happier.

I think you will discover that you can be as busy as you want to be or as private as you want to be. No one forces anything on anyone. My wife and I were talking today and saying that TV is what one dreams about while working towards retirement. All the safety of the neighborhoods, the activities, the shopping, and the restaurants one could desire. The best part, though, is the people. No one was born here and maybe that eliminates all the snobbishness of other places. We are all fairly new to TV, and I haven't found anyone yet who wasn't ready to help if needed, nor have I yet to find a rude person.

As far as missing your kids, I predict that once they visit you here you will see more of them than you expect. All our kids and grandkids love TV.

Try it out for a couple of months. If you don't like it well enough to move here, at least you will have had a nice long inexpensive vacation. It's like living in Disneyworld.



My hope for you would be to keep very busy with all the acivities and new friendship in TV and maybe help you to feel better.

IMHO - Being busy has a way of keeping your mind from unhappy thoughts.

Best wishes.

[graciegirl]

It is beautiful to hear that you will miss your child. Some people are kinda glad to see them up and out.

Mine graduated from College a long time ago and lives about five blocks away but if I could I would have her live right next door.

When you feel sad about them going away to college or a new life, I was told to think of the GOOD things, like not waiting to hear them come in LATE. Like keeping their room REALLY neat. Like knowing that this is part of the big plan. Our job is to get them where they don't need us.

I hope this helps.

Come on down and visit us, I think you will love it.

[pauld315]

Sent my youngest, a daughter, off to college last year here in NC as well. It was hard for awhile but became easier over time as you watch them grow up. She was home this summer and honestly, I was glad to see her go back. We had grown accustomed to our independence and cherish it. Our next hurdle will be to actually leave this area and move to TV. I am guessing it will be very similar as we will be leaving behind our 2 kids and our grandaughter. We will get over it and planes fly both ways every day !

[robbie]

i totally understand heideho!!! hubby and i are moving out of our home this week (moving to the villages after the first of the year) along with sending our son off to college today (and to make matters worse, it's his birthday)!!! i haven't slept for two nights and the tears just won't stop... what keeps me going is knowing that all of us are taking the first step to the next wonderful chapter in our lives... very hard today, but totally worth it in the long run.... i'll be thinking of you...

[HeideHo]

Oh my goodness, thank you for understanding!!! I feel so much better just knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way. It caught me totally by surprise. I was wondering if anyone felt sad when they moved to TV and left their children in another state too. I am so glad to hear from you all that it does get better. This is only day 2 since my daughter left for college, so I'm still a bit raw. I expect moving someplace full of excitement like The Villages would help fill a lot of empty gaps that retirement and empty nests create. Plus having so many people to talk to and who understand must really help. You guys have been so helpful and kind to me. If anyone else wants to share, please do! I need all the wisdom I can get from others who have experienced it themselves.

[HeideHo]

Hugs, Robbie. Sounds like you and I are both going through the same thing right now. I'm crying and can't sleep either. Nothing seems to help right now. It's definitly the start of a new chapter in life. It's so good that you are preparing to move because that will keep your mind occupied. You have something wonderful to look forward to. I'll be thinking of you too.

Heide

[JeanneBeannie]

Hi HeidiHo,

I so understand what you are going thru, it is very difficult I think for a Mother to see their babies grow up and leave the nest. It really is quite an adjustment. My son was ready to spread his wings and begin his life as a grown man, so I ventured to The Villages. I absolutely love The Villages, and all the wonderful friends I have met, but I dont love living so far away from my son. But with great, understanding friends, each day gets alittle easier. I am very glad I have stuck it out thusfar and hoping to see him at Christmas. You will have great times and good days, but there is nothing wrong with a tear here and there when something reminds us of our children.

I was even thinking of starting a group or a club like a Lonely Mother's Heart Club Band lol, of course I will have to come up with a better name lol. I am sure there are lots of other Mother's out there that miss their children, and maybe we can turn it into a fun friends time with laughs and memories rather than being sad and crying.

I really hope you feel better soon. For my experience, I feel better each day, especially when I drive around the squares etc. and realize how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place with such nice people.

I am babbling here lol, but another thing is, if you like your space and private times that isnt a problem either. You can choose to do whatever you want to do and when you want to do it. I must say I sure do enjoy floating around in the pool whenever I want, its like being on vacation 24/7!

I wish you the very best,
Jeanne

[jebartle]

We are also NC transplants and Love Love Love The Villages....We were warned by our NC friends that Florida is hot and loaded with bugs, summer is hot but my NC friends forget that NC is hot, hot, hot also and the bugs,well, small price to live in paradise....TV is really hard to explain to anyone other than a "perfect" place to retire....We looked everywhere and nothing comes close....You will love it here....Hurry down to all of these happy faces waiting to give you a warm welcome.....

[HeideHo]

Hi Jeannie Beanie and jebartle. Your replies are a lot of comfort to me. I think a club for parents suffering from missing their children is an excellent idea! Nothing helps me work through a problem better than being around people who understand. Who better to sympathize? As far as the Florida weather goes, we had several weeks with temps in the 100's here in NC this summer. I bet it was actually cooler in FL! I did check the temps some mornings on the weather channel and it was. I can't wait to get down there and see TV and meet everyone. Hopefully we can sell our house in the Spring. We'll see. The housing market is so bad right now.

[swrinfla]

HeideHo:

If I may, a completely different point of view, but with the same outcome!

I have 2 daughters. When I first thought of coming here something like 6 years ago, they both encouraged it! Said I wouldn't even have to come visit them; they'd love to visit me in Florida!

And, that's the way it has been. I've been back to St. Louis only twice in the 5+ years; my St. Louis daughter has been here almost every year!

I don't go to Denver much because the altitude bothers my emphysema, but my Denver-based daughter has been here almost every year!

Both girls are considerably older - they graduated from college as many as 25 years ago - but I'm inclined to think their attitudes will follow in your younger kids, even as they pursue a college education!

The Villages is an ideal place; just ask almost anyone on this forum! If you've got a "problem," there're dozens here who'll help you resolve it, and they won't expect anything more than your friendship in return!

There's my 2 cents!

SWR

[HeideHo]

Hi Swrinfla.

I wish I was there right now! I can't tell you how much your responses mean to me. I feel very comforted. I know that would be multiplied times 1000 if I could already be there in person. You are so blessed to have 2 such wonderful daughters. I know it helps that there are so many caring, wonderful people there to help you get through those times between visits. What a great crowd of friends you have at TV!

[Vinny]

I was an anti social hermit who greatly doubted the wisdom of moving here. Now I am a social butterfly but have full control of my social calendar. My friends and family are just as surprised as I am.