[Rags123]

Visited that site, and it is shocking that there are human beings walking among us who would talk about people like that, or frankly even have those thoughts.

Does not TOTV have a verified email for all posters ?

I realize that could be iffy at best, but should law enforcement ever get involved, they can determine exactly who opened those email accounts. Frankly, what is read there over there could very well become a police matter.

I get scared just thinking that these very same people post on here

[Carl in Tampa]

Originally Posted by Indydealmaker

IMO forums should require the verified use of a poster's real name. Anonymous posts have no credibility and are a breeding ground for slander, libel, bullying and a leading cause of high blood pressure.

I agree, in part. I feel that the board operators should have the verified true names and contact information of every person authorized to post on the board, but I would permit screen names.

Otherwise, some individual, angered by a perhaps unintentional slight, might seek out and physically confront another poster.

The real control of misuse of message boards is the responsibility of the Moderators. Lax moderation leads to abuse. Active moderation, with quick response to complaints will result in civil discourse.

[Indydealmaker]

Originally Posted by Taltarzac725

I disagree about that. I went on Findlaw around mid-2001 to look for a lawyer for a case of medical malpractice and tell my story about my fight for access to practical information for survivors of crimes. The Findlaw Sysop (System Operator) even told me that this was the perfect place to do this. I started posting verbatim copies of letters I had received. Or, nearly verbatim.

This went OK for just a very small time and then lawyer after lawyer kept on attacking me with very personal challenges. Not sure why this was mainly because I was arguing that people should do their own research about the law especially if they are victims/survivors of crimes. Not that they should cease taking legal advice just that it is an important check-and-balance to use the Internet. Ironically, I saw Findlaw as one of the best ways of doing this.

I was also talking about all the problems I had with pushing for better access to practical information when I was still inside the law librarianship profession. I tried to document everything and sent a bunch of these documents to the ObamaCare people a few months back as I still believe when it comes down to it the effects of violence and handling them is as much as a legal problem as one of public health.

Often though because of all the personal attacks I got, I had to switch to anonymous postings on Findlaw which opened me up, however, to people pretending to be me like the cybersmearer I mentioned above who used anonymous names and fake e-mail addresses as well.

If the balance of power between parties is severely unbalanced then I do think we need anonymous posting available.

This fight I had is also what I was scared about talked about with the Sumter County Court Administrator when I had Jury Duty on May 19, 2014 as it would have taken me a very long time to discuss everything I have been through over the past 38 years or so since I first became interested in this issue following the murder and murder investigation of Michelle Mitchell in Reno, Nevada on February 24, 1976 (my birthday).

It all still comes down to credibility. You cannot gain credibility just by disseminating facts. Those facts will do no good if they don't get a second look. Either your own reputation is your credibility badge or you borrow credibility by quietly finding an advocate and gaining his/her respect before you go public.

It is the same thing in the business world. You can beat your head against a brick wall trying to introduce your product by being David in a Goliath world or you can find a partner who is already where you want to be. Be willing to share the spoils of war and you can always find help.

[Taltarzac725]

Originally Posted by Indydealmaker

It all still comes down to credibility. You cannot gain credibility just by disseminating facts. Those facts will do no good if they don't get a second look. Either your own reputation is your credibility badge or you borrow credibility by quietly finding an advocate and gaining his/her respect before you go public.

It is the same thing in the business world. You can beat your head against a brick wall trying to introduce your product by being David in a Goliath world or you can find a partner who is already where you want to be. Be willing to share the spoils of war and you can always find help.

Good post. I bought a copy of the 1991 National Organization for Victim Assistance Directory of Victim Assistance Programs and Services back then and probably wrote 4000 of the 8000 providers listed there asking them what they would like to see in libraries of all sorts for survivors of crimes. This took me ten years or so but I did share all this information with many. Especially after I got on the Internet around 1999.

I did try to enlist an army for battling the Godzilla like problem I had. As far as 2014, I am hoping that the e-mails I sent to the Sumter County Court Administrator will make a bridge.

I am on Facebook too trying to build allies.

[CFrance]

[QUOTE=Chi-Town;882731]Most White Sox fans would never watch a Cubs game. Most Cubs fans would never watch a White Sox game. They just don't like the other team. I'm sure it's true with the Yankees and Red Sox. The point is why do TOTVers who abhor Topix go there at all?[/QUOTE
Knowledge and information are power.

[Lovey2]

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....

[JimmyJohn]

Originally Posted by Lovey2

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....

Best post I have read to date. I promise never to fire in the dark. It is posts like this that can change people into better, kinder members of society. I am on the the first part of a journey to do just that. For those that I have harmed, please forgive me. Lord, give me the strength to follow through on my commitment.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by Lovey2

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....

Please don't think the following is talking to you directly, but a general point of view.

I agree that we all need to kinder, and gentler, with new posters. Therefore I personally have never answered their request, with a flip answer. I always think before hitting the "submit" button, How would I feel if someone said this to me.

On the other hand, lumping all posters into one group. is too broad a statement.

I don't go to "Topix" because it is so negative. They are many "cowards of the keyboards" who post anonyomously, (spelling is wrong.... my bad). They say things, they wouldn't have the nerve to say to someone's face, as they wouldn't want to incur the wrath of whom, the are saying it to.

This site is mild compared to other sites. IMHO

However, it doesn't give someone to right to disrespect others. Some of us know what we are talking about, as there have been a couple of members who have re-entered with a new screen name, because they were chastized by the admin. Nuff said....

I think we all need to agree to disagree respectfully.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by Lovey2

Well...(and I realize this is exactly what got me in trouble to begin with)...people complain about how hurtful the Topix site is, and it is (since the hullabaloo about it last time I went there to see) but there are some very hurtful things said on this site as well...especially to the newer posters. Harassment is something even as simple as a condescending reply, some cute popcorn boxes, or a chef stirring a pot. When I initially mentioned this, it was "explained" to me (in a PM) that new people with differing opinions were suspect as being an old poster with a new identity. REALLY?? How did I pose as an "old" poster? Why was that even assumed? Anyway, its all old news...but, all I wanted to say here was...just because someone has hurt you in the past, don't start shooting in the dark hoping to hit the offender. You may just be hurting someone innocent yourself. Some of the new people (maybe not quite as thick skinned as me) are still being responded to condescendingly or rudely. Remember, they are NEW here... all the old topics, problems, questions are NEW to them. They are on here because they are happy to be in "America's Friendliest Hometown" and reaching out to their new neighbors, don't just shoot them down so cavalierly (sp), answer them like they are children, or not worth your time. Just don't respond, rather than do so rudely. Just something for us to think about....

When I first began to post on this forum we had made a short visit to a friend who had moved here and we really felt love and first sight and I was very suspicious that this place was too good to be true and not what it was cracked up to be. I had many questions about everything and asked if anyone had ever met the builder, what kind of person was he, is he up to something... I wanted to know about the bond and on and on and on.


A few people suspected me of having an agenda and stirring the pot and why was I looking for trouble. They were not diplomatic and put me firmly in my place. They called me a troll and other hurtful things.


Now that I am a firm believer that this is the nicest place on earth to live for seniors, I too feel the same way about people who seem to question how wonderful this place is. Many folks who post regularly feel the same way and act protective of The Villages and how things are done here.


There are many controversies that come up, over time, over and over and when they appear AGAIN, we who have been there and heard that, time and time again.... think, oh not again and aren't very patient sometimes.


There are the poop threads and the roundabout threads and the debates over politics and religion. There are people who thrive on tension and others who just don't want to hear the same old, same old argued about.


There are new posters who are soft and diplomatic and those who have all of the diplomacy of a freight train. There are some doves and some banty roosters. There are those who say it like it is and those who you wonder just what they are saying. There are those who have been contentious in the past, trouble makers who have been banned and who appear again trying to appear like a new person. There are mostly genuine seekers of knowledge who sincerely want to know about this place and whether or not they want to finish their life with the lot of us.


There are those when questioned about what their motive is will be hurt and quit, and those who will rephrase and restate and those who take umbrage and immediately get defensive.


That is the nature of the world and internet interchanges. You cannot read the face, the body language and look a person eye to eye, and read other subtle clues about them.. and sometimes you misread them.


Over time, after a number of posts, we are all better able to gage the attitude and character of posters and we form our own opinions based on our information, our attitudes, our beliefs and our life experiences.


I think I have learned more about people and life and social interactions between older humans on this forum than I really wanted to know.


And I have found real, true, caring friends too.

[JimmyJohn]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

When I first began to post on this forum we had made a short visit to a friend who had moved here and we really felt love and first sight and I was very suspicious that this place was too good to be true and not what it was cracked up to be. I had many questions about everything and asked if anyone had ever met the builder, what kind of person was he, is he up to something... I wanted to know about the bond and on and on and on.


A few people suspected me of having an agenda and stirring the pot and why was I looking for trouble. They were not diplomatic and put me firmly in my place. They called me a troll and other hurtful things.


Now that I am a firm believer that this is the nicest place on earth to live for seniors, I too feel the same way about people who seem to question how wonderful this place is. Many folks who post regularly feel the same way and act protective of The Villages and how things are done here.


There are many controversies that come up, over time, over and over and when they appear AGAIN, we who have been there and heard that, time and time again.... think, oh not again and aren't very patient sometimes.


There are the poop threads and the roundabout threads and the debates over politics and religion. There are people who thrive on tension and others who just don't want to hear the same old, same old argued about.


There are new posters who are soft and diplomatic and those who have all of the diplomacy of a freight train. There are some doves and some banty roosters. There are those who say it like it is and those who you wonder just what they are saying. There are those who have been contentious in the past, trouble makers who have been banned and who appear again trying to appear like a new person. There are mostly genuine seekers of knowledge who sincerely want to know about this place and whether or not they want to finish their life with the lot of us.


There are those when questioned about what their motive is will be hurt and quit, and those who will rephrase and restate and those who take umbrage and immediately get defensive.


That is the nature of the world and internet interchanges. You cannot read the face, the body language and look a person eye to eye, and read other subtle clues about them.. and sometimes you misread them.


Over time, after a number of posts, we are all better able to gage the attitude and character of posters and we form our own opinions based on our information, our attitudes, our beliefs and our life experiences.


I think I have learned more about people and life and social interactions between older humans on this forum than I really wanted to know.


And I have found real, true, caring friends too.

It may be because I have recently quit drinking, but I see this also as a clear to the point post. Thanks Gracie for a great post. Firm, to the point without any negativity.

[2BNTV]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

When I first began to post on this forum we had made a short visit to a friend who had moved here and we really felt love and first sight and I was very suspicious that this place was too good to be true and not what it was cracked up to be. I had many questions about everything and asked if anyone had ever met the builder, what kind of person was he, is he up to something... I wanted to know about the bond and on and on and on.


A few people suspected me of having an agenda and stirring the pot and why was I looking for trouble. They were not diplomatic and put me firmly in my place. They called me a troll and other hurtful things.


Now that I am a firm believer that this is the nicest place on earth to live for seniors, I too feel the same way about people who seem to question how wonderful this place is. Many folks who post regularly feel the same way and act protective of The Villages and how things are done here.


There are many controversies that come up, over time, over and over and when they appear AGAIN, we who have been there and heard that, time and time again.... think, oh not again and aren't very patient sometimes.


There are the poop threads and the roundabout threads and the debates over politics and religion. There are people who thrive on tension and others who just don't want to hear the same old, same old argued about.


There are new posters who are soft and diplomatic and those who have all of the diplomacy of a freight train. There are some doves and some banty roosters. There are those who say it like it is and those who you wonder just what they are saying. There are those who have been contentious in the past, trouble makers who have been banned and who appear again trying to appear like a new person. There are mostly genuine seekers of knowledge who sincerely want to know about this place and whether or not they want to finish their life with the lot of us.


There are those when questioned about what their motive is will be hurt and quit, and those who will rephrase and restate and those who take umbrage and immediately get defensive.


That is the nature of the world and internet interchanges. You cannot read the face, the body language and look a person eye to eye, and read other subtle clues about them.. and sometimes you misread them.


Over time, after a number of posts, we are all better able to gage the attitude and character of posters and we form our own opinions based on our information, our attitudes, our beliefs and our life experiences.


I think I have learned more about people and life and social interactions between older humans on this forum than I really wanted to know.


And I have found real, true, caring friends too.

Great Post!!

: bigbow:

It's good to be King.... er.... Queen.

[Lovey2]

2B...I agree to disagree. Just because we express differing opinions there is no need to disparage the opinion of another post... I was not lumping anyone, aside from listing names we can only speak "broadly" here. And I do believe quoting someone's post is "aiming it at them", a direct response, so to speak..not always bad, but very pointed. Nonetheless,you are definitely one of the kinder posters. I am NOT a follower, NOT afraid to say in person what my fingers type here, and NOT above apologizing if I said anything rude or incorrect. To assume I am anything but without ANY proof whatsoever was WRONG. And to expect me to PASS any "motive" questions put to me, was also WRONG. I am sorry some of you had to deal with that type of mularky. My post was simply a gentle reminder that the new posters aren't aware of this past history, and if we continue to be suspicious, condescending and off putting, for whatever our reasons are, we will lose the value of new posters, the opportunity to share our knowledge about TV, and just MAYBE learn something from THEM.

[Lovey2]

Originally Posted by JimmyJohn

Best post I have read to date. I promise never to fire in the dark. It is posts like this that can change people into better, kinder members of society. I am on the the first part of a journey to do just that. For those that I have harmed, please forgive me. Lord, give me the strength to follow through on my commitment.

Hoping your journey brings you peace and you find the strength to continue it. Also, for you.

[JimmyJohn]

Originally Posted by Lovey2

2B...I agree to disagree. and I am only lumping people into one category as much as you are...see? Just because we express differing opinions there is no need to disparage the opinion of another post. And I do believe quoting someone's post is "aiming it at them", a direct response, so to speak. Nonetheless,you are definitely one of the kinder posters. I am NOT a follower, NOT afraid to say in person what my fingers type here, and NOT above apologizing if I said anything rude or incorrect. To assume I am anything but without ANY proof whatsoever was WRONG. I am sorry some of you had to deal with that type of mularky. My post was simply a gentle reminder that the new posters aren't aware of this past history, and if we continue to be suspicious, condescending and off putting, for whatever our reasons are, we will lose the value of new posters, the opportunity to share our knowledge about TV, and just MAYBE learn something from THEM.

This is the type of post that will allow TOTV to evolve into a more honest and healthy place to say hi to friends and acquire information. I see bigger and better things in our future.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by JimmyJohn

This is the type of post that will allow TOTV to evolve into a more honest and healthy place to say hi to friends and acquire information. I see bigger and better things in our future.

but you don't know our past, or do you, I mean since you're new? But it is still nice to have hope for the future. I do too. I want to keep this site free from cruelty like posted on Topix with people changing their names all of the time. But with the same agenda.


There is a person on Topix who brags about being kicked off this forum six times and is now appearing under a new name. People like that use sites like this; http://www.ask.com/question/what-are...-blocked-sites